Is It Wrong to Ask for a Raise When Colleague Was Denied? (AITA)

A 28-year-old woman didn’t just ask for a raise, she did it right after learning her brand-new coworker, Sarah, got denied one. The twist? OP has spent the last five years at a small graphic design firm, taking on more responsibilities and pushing projects forward, while Sarah has only been there a year.

So when OP overhears that Sarah’s raise was blocked by “budget constraints,” it plants a very specific question in her head: what about her own pay? She schedules a meeting with the boss, makes a strong case, and gets approved, but the office mood instantly turns icy. Sarah goes distant and stops communicating like they used to, and OP is stuck wondering if she just tanked team morale.

Now OP is asking Reddit if seeking fair compensation was the wrong move, even though Sarah’s situation feels painfully similar.

Original Post

I (28F) work at a small graphic design firm where I've dedicated the last 5 years of my career. Recently, a new colleague, let's call her Sarah, started.

Sarah is a talented designer, but she's been here only a year. Last week, during a casual conversation with our boss, we discussed future opportunities at the company.

To my surprise, I found out that Sarah was denied a raise due to the company's budget constraints. This news got me thinking about my own salary, especially since I've been taking on more responsibilities and excelling in my projects.

So, I decided to schedule a meeting with our boss to discuss a raise for myself. I made a strong case, citing my accomplishments and the value I bring to the team.

However, now that my request has been approved, I can feel the tension in the office. Sarah has been distant and less communicative since she found out about my raise.

I genuinely feel for her situation, but I also believe I deserve fair compensation for my hard work. So, Reddit, AITA for seeking a raise for myself knowing that Sarah has recently been denied one?

I can't help but feel guilty for potentially causing friction in the team dynamics.

Workplace dynamics can be complex, particularly when salary discussions arise.

Comment from u/CozyBlanket33

Comment from u/GardenGnome07

Comment from u/StarlightDreamer99

OP’s raise request didn’t happen in a vacuum, it started after she learned Sarah was denied during a casual conversation with their boss about future opportunities.

She recommends gathering data on salary benchmarks for similar roles in the industry to back up your request. This not only strengthens your case but also demonstrates your knowledge and commitment to the company’s success.

Additionally, Washington advises considering the timing of your request, especially in relation to company performance and budget cycles.

Comment from u/CoffeeAndBooks22

Comment from u/AdventureSeekerX

Comment from u/MoonlightShadow44

The tension spikes the moment OP’s meeting goes well, because Sarah finds out her coworker got approved while she remains stuck with the budget excuse.

This also echoes the AITA post where a sister set a curfew for her 15-year-old sibling before a dance.

Effective Communication Strategies

Moreover, she suggests practicing active listening to understand your colleagues' perspectives, which can lead to a more collaborative environment. This approach cultivates respect and understanding, reducing the likelihood of resentment.

Comment from u/TechNerd87

Comment from u/OceanBreeze11

Comment from u/MountainHiker55

Sarah’s sudden distance and quieter communication after OP’s raise approval is the kind of workplace silence that makes every interaction feel loaded.

Research shows that fostering an environment where employees feel safe to voice concerns about salary and equity can lead to more honest discussions and collaborative problem-solving.

Encouraging open forums or regular feedback sessions can help address grievances early, preventing escalation and fostering a healthier workplace culture.

Comment from u/PizzaLover123

And the whole mess lands on OP’s conscience, since she genuinely feels for Sarah but still believes her own performance deserves better pay.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

In the delicate dance of salary negotiations, the complexities of workplace dynamics play a pivotal role.

In situations like this, the tension often stems from feelings of inequity and competition in the workplace.

OP might be right about her salary, but she still has to survive the awkward fallout with Sarah.

Want more “did you really change the rules?” tension? Read what one sibling did after changing game night rules mid-game.