Is It Wrong to Date My Best Friends Ex?

A 28-year-old woman is staring at a very messy love triangle, and the twist is that the “new romance” might actually be the thing that blows up her longest friendship.

She and her best friend Sarah have been close for over a decade, but after Sarah’s long-term breakup with John, the two of them started noticing a surprising pull toward each other. John and the OP have always clicked, and now the connection feels real, not just convenient timing.

The problem is, Sarah is still processing, and the OP hasn’t even told her yet that feelings for John are on the table. Here’s the fallout nobody wants to cause.

Original Post

I (28F) have been close friends with my best friend Sarah (27F) for over a decade. Recently, Sarah broke up with her long-term partner, John (29M), due to compatibility issues.

John and I have always gotten along well, sharing similar interests and values. After Sarah and John's breakup, we found ourselves drawn to each other in a way that surprised us both.

We didn't intend for feelings to develop, but they did. Now, we're both considering pursuing a relationship.

However, I'm torn. On one hand, I value Sarah's friendship immensely, and I know she's still processing the breakup.

On the other hand, John and I have a genuine connection that feels worth exploring. I haven't told Sarah about my feelings for John yet, as I'm afraid it might hurt her.

I truly care about both of them and don't want to cause any drama or strain on our friendships. So, AITA for wanting to pursue a relationship with Sarah's recent ex, John, despite the potential fallout?

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For the group-friendship fallout, see Reddit’s take on dating a friend’s ex who also has feelings.

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Right after Sarah and John call it quits due to “compatibility issues,” the OP realizes her friendship with Sarah is about to collide with her chemistry with John.

The moment the OP and John start getting drawn to each other, it stops being a harmless “we get along,” and turns into something neither of them planned.

But the OP’s guilt spikes because Sarah is still hurting, and she’s keeping her feelings quiet instead of risking that awkward conversation.

Now the OP has to decide whether pursuing John will feel like a genuine connection, or like a betrayal of the bond she’s had with Sarah for a decade.

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

She might get the relationship with John, but she could lose Sarah along the way.

Read how Sarah’s ex, John, and a decade-long friendship left one woman torn between loyalty and love in her AITA dilemma.