Is It Wrong to Want to See Friends After a Bereavement Visit?

A 30-year-old man just got hit with the kind of loss that rearranges everything, then tried to keep his life stitched together anyway. His mom had passed, relatives poured in from all over for the funeral, and he and his girlfriend were driving back and forth trying to make everyone feel seen.

After moving about three hours away to live with his girlfriend, he planned to use the next day to spend time with family before they flew back, then see friends the day after, and finally drive up again. But his girlfriend was upset, especially because they have multiple dogs that are “a handful” by yourself, and she snapped that bereavement is not for hanging out with friends.

Now the real question is whether wanting to see friends after a bereavement visit makes him an asshole, or just human when grief is still fresh.

Original Post

I 30m moved about 3 hours away from my family to live with my gf. My mom had just passed and so family from all over came in for the funeral.

My gf could only get one day off so we drove back home afterwards. I tell her I am going to drive back down to spend some more time with family before they fly back and then spend some time with friends the day after and drive up afterwards.

My gf gets upset because we have multiple dogs and they can be a handful by yourself. We get into an argument and she says bereavement isn't to spend time with friends.

AITA for just wanting to spend time with family and see friends during this hard time.

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This is also like OP in AITA for skipping Thanksgiving hosting after a newborn’s needs sparked backlash.

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Right after the funeral drive, the plan to go back down again is where his girlfriend’s one-day-off reality collided with his need to keep his support system close.

The argument escalates fast when he explains he’ll handle the dogs alone and still carve out time for friends the day after his family leaves.

It gets even messier because his girlfriend frames “bereavement” as a rule, not a feeling, and that’s what turns his visit into a fight.

By the time they’re both counting the days, the dogs, and the funeral schedule, it’s clear this isn’t just about friends, it’s about who gets to decide what grief should look like.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

Nobody should have to choose between grieving and having people who care.

Want another family blowup? See why someone skipped their cousin’s wedding after excluding their same-sex partner.