Parents Consider Kicking Out Jobless Adult Son For Refusing To Pay Rent Or Help With Chores Amid Financial Struggles

Dealing with an adult child who refuses to contribute financially or help around the house can create significant tension and stress, especially in a family already facing financial difficulties. In this case, a mother and her husband are struggling to make ends meet after her husband's company went bankrupt, leaving them without income for several weeks.

Their 19-year-old son, who recently moved back home after losing his job, has not paid rent or helped out, despite initially agreeing to do so. The son spends his days sleeping and his nights playing Xbox, ordering food from Uber Eats instead of cooking or buying groceries, further straining the family's limited resources.

This behavior has caused the parents to consider kicking him out, as they can no longer afford to support him while he shows no effort to find a job or contribute to the household. The situation is further complicated by the needs of their two younger children, both of whom require special care and therapy sessions.

The mother is also studying at night to improve her job prospects. While they don't want to create bad blood with their son, the parents feel they have no other option but to ask him to leave if he doesn't start taking responsibility for his own life.

It's a difficult decision, but sometimes tough love is necessary to encourage independence and responsibility in an adult child. Just take a look at this...

OP lives with her husband and three kids. He's the sole provider.

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Son, 19, back home, no room, lease ending. Discussed plans. Stayed due to tough rentals, earns $1k/week.

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The Impact of Financial Stress on Family Dynamics

Research from Yale University indicates that financial stress can significantly strain family relationships, often leading to conflict and resentment.

Dr. Sarah Mitchell explains that when financial burdens are placed unevenly, it can create feelings of inadequacy and guilt in family members, particularly in adult children.

This dynamic is exacerbated when expectations are not clearly communicated, leaving room for misunderstanding and frustration.

Son agreed to pay, lost job, spent payout on Uber Eats. Now 13 weeks behind on rent, won't work, clean, or help, Xbox all day.

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Husband's company liquidated, no money for bills or food. Struggling to keep up, still waiting for payment.

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According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, the way families handle financial strain can lead to either resilience or dysfunction.

Families that engage in open dialogues about money tend to navigate these challenges more effectively than those that avoid the conversation.

Encouraging discussions around finances can alleviate some of the pressure and foster a cooperative environment.

Son eating excessively at night, enough for 2-3 people per meal. Doesn't care when confronted.

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She sacrifices meals for kids, son orders Uber Eats despite financial strain. OP's considering kicking him out.

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Navigating Interpersonal Conflict in Family Settings

Family dynamics often require negotiation and compromise, especially when responsibilities and expectations clash.

Dr. James Roberts emphasizes that setting clear boundaries and responsibilities can help reduce feelings of entitlement or resentment among family members.

By proactively addressing household roles, families can work together more harmoniously and mitigate potential conflicts.

Both 13yo and 5yo autistic, 5yo non-verbal until last year. Weekly therapy sessions fill most of the day.

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OP's studying at night for better job, and their 5yo's starting school soon. Husband's reduced hours strain finances post-liquidation.

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Moreover, psychological research suggests that involving adult children in financial discussions can promote accountability and encourage a sense of shared responsibility.

By framing these conversations in a supportive and collaborative manner, families can foster a constructive atmosphere that encourages growth and mutual respect.

It's important to approach these discussions with compassion and understanding to avoid further alienation.

Their $8K savings went to the move. Child support ended at 18 and was insufficient due to the father's unemployment.

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After discussing with their adult son, they gave him food storage. Still, he orders food, gaining weight.

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They soon realized that tough love sometimes means evicting the freeloading Xbox king. When it comes to family finances, there’s no room for a moocher. Time for Junior to leave the nest and learn that Uber Eats doesn’t count as adulting. It's sink or swim—time for him to doggy paddle on his own.

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Discussed food costs, cheaper for him. No charges since job loss, just asked for consideration. Asked for more help, but he refuses.

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Discussed mental health, helped clean his room, wash clothes (took 3 days), started waking him up as he struggled.

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Tried to help him get his driver's license, only needed 5 hours with an instructor. Showed no interest, even after offering a second car.

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Moved in with friends, kicked out for neglecting chores. Plans to work when the youngest starts school due to costly childcare.

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Husband got the same job with a new company, technically unemployed for 4 hours. Waited 5 weeks for the first paycheck.

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In their area, renting requires a 4-week bond plus 2 weeks' advance rent, plus moving and cleaning costs.

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Never asked son to support family. Asked him to get food, pay his way, and wait for regular income before ordering Uber Eats.

Scroll down to see what people had to say...

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It's a three-adult circus without the ringmaster or the clowns!

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Why not job hunt? Day shift, night shift: a dance for food and shelter!

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It's time for him to step up or move out. She's sacrificing meals while he's ignoring his responsibilities.

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Why not spread the job love? Equality in paychecks, not just in gender!

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Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights the struggles many families face when balancing financial responsibilities with relational dynamics. It's common for tensions to arise when expectations are misaligned, and addressing these issues directly can pave the way for healthier family interactions.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, the intersection of financial strain and family dynamics is complex and often fraught with emotional challenges.

Research consistently shows that open communication and clearly defined roles can significantly enhance family resilience during tough times.

By fostering an environment of understanding and cooperation, families can navigate these difficulties with greater success.