15 Stories Of How Parents Decided Whether Or Not They Liked Their Kid's Dates

Parents can be surprisingly quick to form an opinion about who their kids are dating, and sometimes that judgment comes down to a first impression, a small gesture, or one awkward dinner. In these stories, moms, dads, and even siblings weigh in on the people their children bring home, and the reactions range from warm approval to instant suspicion.

Some dates win the family over right away, while others raise red flags the moment they walk through the door. A few parents stay polite no matter what, but others make their feelings obvious in ways that are hard to ignore. That mix of instinct, protectiveness, and family drama makes every story here a little different.

Here’s how these parents decided whether a kid’s date was a keeper or not.

Not a parent so I called my mom. Then I never tell you whether I like them or not, so I don’t influence your own judgement. I cannot choose for you, although sometimes I wish I could.”-Mrs. UnappreciatedSonEdit: spacingEdit 2: yes I’m aware that my mother appreciates me as many pointed out lol. It’s not her that’s the concern. But I appreciate you guys sticking up for my mom, even when it’s not directed to her. Thank you guys for pointing it out, hopefully this fixes it.Edit 3: your*

A lot of parents keep their opinions to themselves until something changes.

I’m not a parent but my gf’s father hates me for some reason, it’s been 1 1/2 years already, it’s gotten better since then tho but stillEdit: Thanks everyone for your comments and support, I see that a lot of people are going through a similar situation, I know it will get better! If anything when we can finally live together on our own…

My mother has always been accepting of everyone I’ve ever dated, but realistic about their faults. My family immediately welcomes them with open arms, but just warns me if they seem “off” for whatever reason. I think it’s a decent system.

Sometimes the little things matter more than the first impression.

When they interact and help out the rest of the family. When my daughter didn’t understand her homework and then her sister’s boyfriend helped her, it showed how much he actually cared.

Met my daughters boyfriend the other day. First boyfriend. She’s 17. He’s 18. I must admit I was a bit nervous and I remember very well being 18 and what I was thinking/wanting, but had a word with my self to be welcoming and warm and to treat him as an equal, my daughters friend and therefore my friend. Anyway he’s a nice young man so it’s all good. But to answer your question I guess if he’s nice I’ll like him if he’s a dick I wont.Either way, as far as my daughter is concerned, I’ll like him.

That kind of honesty makes the whole thing feel pretty simple.

Not a mother but I’m a sister to a lovely brother. He had brought some girls in house in his teenage years, and instantly I would know if I liked them or not. The first one he brought, was super rude with me and my parents. She would eat alone in the bedroom when we are having dinner, force my brother to be mean to me, etc. Few months after the relationship ended in a really bad way. After that brought some girls, didn’t talk so much with them but they were nice and sweet (didn’t last long, less than two months). The last one he brought, when I talked to her, just one thought came to mind “she’s the one”. Five or six years later, here they are, living together.Edit: typos

I have always instinctively known within seconds of meeting them. I’ve liked all but one of my son’s partners, and the one I didn’t feel right about was the one who screwed him up.

Wedding stakes get messy fast when a partner faces dad’s disapproval and the bride’s ultimatum.

One mother-in-law definitely misread the situation at first.

My mother-in-law assumed I was some sort of player when I first met her before my first date with my wife. She even told my wife that she assumed I went on lots of dates back at school.Joke’s on her. I spent the entirety of my freshman year (the year before I met my wife) enjoying the sweet, sweet internet speed of my dorm room and playing the shit out of Halo 3, Mass Effect 1 & 2, picking up drunk dorm-mates from house parties at 3am, and going on exactly 0 dates.After years of getting to know my MIL, she just didn’t want her daughter to get into a long-distance relationship, then end up moving out of state with me if we got married and I was still there (which ended up happening. Whoops).

Not a parent, but this was my experience with my mother when I was a teen.So, as a teen, my mother pulled me to the side and gave me the “gay talk”. You know, the “I’ll still love you even if you were gay” talk.I asked her why she thought I was gay and she said it was because I never bring any girls to the house.Guess what I did within the next few days? I brought a girl in the house.Guess what my mother did? She kicked her out and gave me a lecture on how inappropriate it was to bring girls to the house.Yes, it makes no sense.

Even the cutest dates can come with a very specific approval test.

My 4yo daughter introduced me to the 5yo neighbor kid as a bf, she told me he’s really good at running fast and he appreciates snails as much as she does. Needless to say, this is a keeper.

It’s about respect, if she treats him right, and compatibility.On the other end, not her dad, but my girlfriend’s roommate is this old grizzled marine dude. She told me that he liked me because I didn’t try to get him to like, which apparently most people do. I was just myself and acted naturally, which he appreciated. Just be yourself and the people that will like you will like you, and the people who won’t won’t. But always be respectful.

Then one family story turns into a much bigger warning sign.

This is a tough subject. My daughters started dating a guy when she turned 17. He said he had two jobs. He said he came from a rough childhood so he didn’t like to talk about his family. He told us they were refugees from Haiti who moved to the us to better their lives. He said his family one day just decided to move from our state to the other side of the country. We all would ask questions but he would just shut up. It was troubling but he was polite, seemed kind. He called me mom he was visiting everyday. Then my daughter turned 18 and they moved in together. I felt it was too soon but she thought she was in love.He was still his nice quiet self in front of our family. My daughter began telling me he didn’t want to cook or clean and just wanted to play PS4 while she worked full time. I told her to keep talking to him about how she was becoming unhappy. He would make her promises but continue to do what he was doing. She worked graveyards so he would say he worked during the day and she’d believe him. She had a puppy who he agreed to look after and clean up for as a shared responsibility. He wasn’t doing this at night when she was at work or when he was off.She had an opportunity to go to Disneyland for a week as a babysitter for her little cousins. After making sure he was ok with it she went. She got home a day early to surprise her dog on his birthday. She found him lethargic with no food or water and no ac on...[truncated]

Some parents end up loving the partner, and some never forget the first impression.

When my oldest daughter introduced her first serious boyfriend, he was an awkward kind of guy, was pretty unremarkable, but he got super animated about topics that interested him. I had a chat with him about my daughter… he got animated. They’ve been married for 9 years. Good guy, works hard, is a staunch advocate for his wife, and I love his smile when he looks at their kids.My oldest son’s first girlfriend was… not an emotional investment he was willing to make. she was pretty, but that was it. I scolded him, he got defensive, almost married her, but she made the mistake of asking my son about my money…. About a year later he brought home a beautiful, talented woman with an electric personality and more self confidence than even my cocksure eldest, and I was never more proud of him than when he took that dive. Their kids are incredible… great couple.My second daughter just introduced us to a college friend of hers. He seems like a decent person. He’s young, but he’s got a head on his shoulders and seems able to conduct himself politely. I’ll need more time to figure it out.My youngest son had a high school sweetheart girlfriend that’s now his college girlfriend. When I first met her she was 9, so I’m pretty enamored with her. Her parents have babysat and house sat for us, and they’re all good people.My youngest daughter has introduced me to a girlfriend from her t...[truncated]

My daughter just started dating. She was mortified when I picked them up and asked if everything was Gucci.

My daughter (13) wanted me to meet her first “real” boyfriend. I was nice and pleasant, but I knew it wouldn’t last because he was all looks and no brains. Of course, as jr high relationships go, it was about a 2 month ordeal. I think all parents should try and be cordial, unless the person feels like a serial killer or something.

Some of these parents were polite, some were blunt, and some were right on the money.

For a different kind of family power play, read the case of a parent dating a childhood friend’s mom.