Devastated MIL Cries After Finding Out Her Son Got Divorced Over Something She Refused To Address, Expects Son's Ex To Still Attend Family Events

A prevalent misconception that has persisted through the ages is that women are typically the ones in relationships who want to get married. This is why, on average, women file for divorce more frequently than men do.

The truth is that women make up slightly more than half of the workforce in some developed countries and are working more than they ever have. However, in many homes, women are still viewed as having the primary household responsibility, despite having a fuller plate in terms of their employment.

In some cases, wives take their husbands' last names and are still expected to handle the majority of childcare and housekeeping duties. Furthermore, research has indicated that even in marriages where both partners work full-time, the woman often handles more household chores than the man.

There are undoubtedly some parallels between the reasons why women tend to file for divorce more frequently than men, even if every relationship is unique in its own right. Of course, there are more factors that influence a person's decision to file for divorce.

The OP initiated her divorce, although she didn't specify why. From her story, it seemed to be her husband's fault, and her MIL didn't help solve the issue; rather, she kept consoling the OP.

Now they're divorced, and OP's MIL cried because she might not be able to see her grandkids as much as she wants. Read the entire story for yourself as you scroll down.

And the story begins...

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OP's MIL didn't have long to process the information before she and the kids moved out

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The OP has encouraged her kids to visit grandma during the holidays

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Understanding Grief and Loss

Divorce can evoke profound feelings of grief, even if the decision to part ways appears justified.

According to Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's stages of grief, individuals often experience a range of emotions that can complicate family relationships.

For the devastated mother-in-law, her tears reflect a deep sense of loss—not just of her son’s marriage but also of the family unit she once knew.

This loss can trigger feelings of helplessness and frustration, particularly if she feels unacknowledged in her pain.

It's been hard to speak up because she's the only one who cares for the kids

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That is one of the things that happens when you get divorced

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Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story

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Research in family psychology suggests that unresolved grief can lead to relational conflict, particularly when family members have different coping styles.

This situation exemplifies how emotional responses to loss can create rifts, as each party navigates their grief in isolation rather than as a cohesive family.

Understanding the dynamics of grief can foster more compassionate responses, allowing family members to support one another effectively.

The OP has finally informed the extended family

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Grandma needs to accept that the kids are getting older

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OP shares more details about her MIL in the comments section

She sees them twice a week, if not more. She's very much involved in their lives, and I know as they get older, they will become more distant from her, so I'm trying to be nice and let her have as much time as she wants, especially when we were married since I was so thankful to have an involved grandparent because my parents could care less about my kids.This turned into a cycle of giving too much, and I can't just assume she understood the changes because clearly, she doesn't.

The OP is creating problems, not solving them

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Complicated Family Dynamics Post-Divorce

Post-divorce family interactions can become increasingly complex, particularly when expectations around familial loyalty clash with individual desires.

Research indicates that individuals often struggle with feelings of loyalty and betrayal, which can complicate relationships during this transitional period.

In this scenario, the mother-in-law’s expectations for her son's ex-wife to attend family events may stem from her own desire to maintain connections, highlighting the tension between personal feelings and family unity.

Facilitating open discussions about these expectations can help clear misunderstandings and foster healthier relationships.

This Redditor believes the OP should send out a mass text

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The OP has to speak up

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The OP should give an ultimatum

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Practical strategies for navigating these emotions include establishing clear communication about family events and creating shared rituals that honor both the past and the present.

Research supports that families who actively engage in shared experiences tend to report greater satisfaction and cohesion.

Creating opportunities for open dialogue can help family members express their feelings and negotiate boundaries more effectively.

You deserve to be happy in life and in your marriage, and getting a divorce is not the end of your life. However, there are times when you simply must get away, and the OP did just that.

OP's absence from extended family events will need to be explained at some point, but this is not her problem. Leave your advice for the OP in the comments section below.

The Importance of Emotional Validation

Emotional validation plays a critical role in navigating family dynamics during times of loss.

According to Dr. Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability, acknowledging each other's feelings can foster deeper connections and understanding.

In this scenario, the mother-in-law may benefit from recognizing her emotions while also validating the feelings of her son and his ex-wife.

This approach can create a foundation for more compassionate interactions and pave the way for healing.

Encouraging family members to share their experiences can facilitate emotional healing and strengthen bonds.

Engaging in family therapy sessions can provide a structured environment for expressing feelings and navigating complex dynamics.

Research indicates that families who participate in therapy report improved communication and relational satisfaction.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the intricacies of family relationships during times of significant change, such as divorce.

From a psychological viewpoint, emotional responses to loss can often lead to misunderstandings if not addressed with compassion and openness.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, navigating family dynamics during and after a divorce requires patience, empathy, and open communication.

Recognizing the emotional weight of loss can help family members support one another more effectively as they work through their feelings.

As research emphasizes, fostering emotional validation and understanding can lead to healthier family interactions.