Redditor's MIL Offers to Babysit Anytime but Won't Pick Up the Baby Because of Her "Bad Back"

Some people do not recognize a favor, they just want the credit. That’s the vibe a Redditor got from her MIL, who keeps offering to babysit her seven-month-old, then somehow always finds a reason not to actually lift a finger.

Here’s the mess: the OP’s MIL is constantly saying she can babysit “anytime,” but when the baby needs to be picked up, she claims she has a “bad back.” Meanwhile, she lifts much heavier things, and she also doesn’t know how to feed the baby with a bottle. To top it off, she’s jealous the OP’s mom gets asked instead, but when the OP asks her directly, it’s a straight no.

Now the OP is stuck dealing with empty offers, and the resentment is starting to boil over.

The Redditor Asked for Advice on Dealing with Her MIL.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

She Explained That She Has a Seven-Month-Old Baby and Her MIL Is Constantly Asking to Babysit.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

MIL Says She Can't Pick Up the Baby Because of Her "Bad Back," Even Though She Lifts Much Heavier Things.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

This situation highlights the complexities of support systems in parenting, particularly when grandparents are involved.

She Also Doesn't Know How to Feed the Baby with a Bottle.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

MIL Is Jealous That They Always Ask the OP's Mom to Babysit Instead of Her.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

But Whenever the OP Has Asked Her MIL to Babysit, She Has Said No.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

That “anytime” promise from the MIL turns into a hard stop the second the OP asks her to pick up the baby with her “bad back.”

Moreover, the phrase "not fit for purpose" can evoke feelings of resentment and frustration, particularly when expectations of support are not met.

Encouraging open conversations about expectations and capabilities can foster understanding and collaboration.

Now the OP Is Getting Frustrated with Her MIL and Her Empty Offers.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

Here's How People Reacted.

Reddit/mwoodbuttons

"She's Not Fit for Purpose."

Reddit/elamb127

The jealousy kicks in when the MIL realizes the OP’s mom is the one getting the babysitting calls, not her.

It’s a lot like a new mom asking her friend to split baby expenses.

Practical Approaches to Managing Family Expectations

To address these challenges, it’s essential for parents to communicate their needs clearly with family members.

"You Need to Be Honest with Her."

Reddit/artyfarty2022

She Just Wants to Make Herself Look Good.

Reddit/VioletSea13

"Use Your Words."

Reddit/lassie86

Every time the baby needs a bottle, the MIL’s “I don’t know how” excuse makes the offer feel more like performance than help.

Moreover, fostering empathy and understanding can help bridge gaps between expectations and reality.

"Preserve Your Sanity."

Reddit/jewelsandstuff

"Be Blunt Next Time."

Reddit/Oscarmaiajonah

"Talk Her Up, but Never Actually Take Her Up on It."

Reddit/bopperbopper

"Cut Her Off Before She Asks."

Reddit/SnooWords4839

"It Comes with the Territory."

Reddit/shann1021

"Tell Her She's Insane."

Reddit/Rough_Theme_5289

"She Wants Playdates, but with a Helper to Do Any Physical Work."

Reddit/saffronpolygon

"She Is Canceling Herself Out."

Reddit/Feisty_Irish

She Wants the Credit Without the Responsibility.

Reddit/Top-Length-6860

That’s when the OP’s frustration finally stacks up with all the cancelled responsibilities, not just the attitude.

What are your thoughts on this situation, and how do you think the OP should deal with her MIL? Do you think the MIL is feeling some resentment towards the OP's mother?

As always, we would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

In this situation, the dynamics of family support are clearly at play.

At this point, the OP has every right to stop taking the MIL’s “offers” seriously.

For more babysitting boundary drama, see the neighbor who guilt-tripped someone into pet sitting.