Redditor's MIL Offers to Babysit Anytime but Won't Pick Up the Baby Because of Her "Bad Back"

When you become a grandparent, you automatically become a babysitter. At least, that's how it usually goes.

For most grandparents, there is no greater joy than spending time with their beautiful grandchildren. However, one Redditor shared a story in the r/JUSTNOMIL about her MIL and the excuses she uses to avoid babysitting.

Reddit user u/BabyBeanAndMe explained that she has a seven-month-old daughter who, being so young, needs to be picked up and carried frequently.

The Redditor's MIL is always asking if she can babysit, but she has never once picked the baby up because of her "bad back."

The OP says she doesn't quite believe her MIL's story because her job involves pushing heavy shopping carts all day. Not only that, but she lifts her 15- to 20-pound dog without any trouble.

Additionally, OP's MIL claims she is scared to pick the baby up because she "might drop her." Understandably, the OP is getting fed up with her MIL's empty offers to babysit, followed by excuses not to.

The OP mentions that her MIL also doesn't know how to feed the baby a bottle. She holds it the wrong way around, so the baby doesn't get any milk, no matter how many times they try to show her the correct way.

The Redditor believes her MIL is jealous because they often ask her mother to babysit instead of her. But what does she expect when she can't pick up or feed the baby?

The OP has had enough, so she turned to the Reddit community for advice. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor Asked for Advice on Dealing with Her MIL.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

She Explained That She Has a Seven-Month-Old Baby and Her MIL Is Constantly Asking to Babysit.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

MIL Says She Can't Pick Up the Baby Because of Her "Bad Back," Even Though She Lifts Much Heavier Things.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

The Role of Support in Parenting

This situation highlights the complexities of support systems in parenting, particularly when grandparents are involved. When a grandmother offers to babysit but cannot fulfill essential caregiving tasks, it can create feelings of frustration and disappointment for parents. Research from the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that perceived inadequacies in support from family members can lead to increased stress and feelings of isolation among parents.

Understanding the emotional weight of these expectations can help families navigate their dynamics more effectively.

She Also Doesn't Know How to Feed the Baby with a Bottle.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

MIL Is Jealous That They Always Ask the OP's Mom to Babysit Instead of Her.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

But Whenever the OP Has Asked Her MIL to Babysit, She Has Said No.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

Moreover, the phrase "not fit for purpose" can evoke feelings of resentment and frustration, particularly when expectations of support are not met. Studies suggest that when family members feel unsupported, it can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust. According to the American Psychological Association, addressing these feelings openly can help restore balance in family dynamics.

Encouraging open conversations about expectations and capabilities can foster understanding and collaboration.

Now the OP Is Getting Frustrated with Her MIL and Her Empty Offers.

Reddit/BabyBeanAndMe

Here's How People Reacted.

Reddit/mwoodbuttons

"She's Not Fit for Purpose."

Reddit/elamb127

Practical Approaches to Managing Family Expectations

To address these challenges, it’s essential for parents to communicate their needs clearly with family members. Employing strategies from family systems theory, such as open dialogue and setting clear boundaries, can help ensure that everyone is on the same page regarding caregiving expectations. Dr. John Gottman's research emphasizes that constructive communication is critical for maintaining healthy family relationships.

Additionally, exploring alternative caregiving options can alleviate pressure on family members who may not be able to fulfill certain roles.

"You Need to Be Honest with Her."

Reddit/artyfarty2022

She Just Wants to Make Herself Look Good.

Reddit/VioletSea13

"Use Your Words."

Reddit/lassie86

Moreover, fostering empathy and understanding can help bridge gaps between expectations and reality. Encouraging family members to express their limitations openly can create a culture of respect and understanding. Research indicates that when families engage in collaborative discussions about caregiving responsibilities, they can strengthen their bonds and reduce stress.

Ultimately, prioritizing communication and empathy can enhance family support systems and improve overall well-being.

"Preserve Your Sanity."

Reddit/jewelsandstuff

"Be Blunt Next Time."

Reddit/Oscarmaiajonah

"Talk Her Up, but Never Actually Take Her Up on It."

Reddit/bopperbopper

"Cut Her Off Before She Asks."

Reddit/SnooWords4839

"It Comes with the Territory."

Reddit/shann1021

"Tell Her She's Insane."

Reddit/Rough_Theme_5289

"She Wants Playdates, but with a Helper to Do Any Physical Work."

Reddit/saffronpolygon

"She Is Canceling Herself Out."

Reddit/Feisty_Irish

She Wants the Credit Without the Responsibility.

Reddit/Top-Length-6860

What are your thoughts on this situation, and how do you think the OP should deal with her MIL? Do you think the MIL is feeling some resentment towards the OP's mother?

As always, we would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the complexities of family dynamics and the expectations surrounding caregiving. Understanding these dynamics can help families communicate more effectively and foster healthier support systems.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating family support dynamics requires clear communication and mutual respect. By understanding the emotional weight of caregiving expectations, families can foster healthier relationships. Prioritizing open dialogue and empathy is essential for maintaining supportive family dynamics.