Neighbor Taking Advantage of My Pool: Would Setting Boundaries Make Me the Bad Guy?

A 30-year-old woman thought she was being a good neighbor when she let her neighbor use her community pool while theirs was under maintenance. It was supposed to be a quick, awkward one-time favor. Instead, it turned into a daily routine.

Now the neighbor is showing up every day, bringing friends and kids, and using the pool during OP’s work hours. The worst part is that OP has already tried to drop hints about needing privacy and not wanting guests, but the neighbor acts like none of it landed.

So here’s the real issue, is OP about to become “that neighbor” just because she wants her pool back?

Original Post

So I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I recently moved into a neighborhood with a small community pool. The other day, my neighbor, who I've only spoken to a few times, knocked on my door and asked if they could use my pool since theirs was under maintenance.

Feeling a bit awkward but not wanting to be rude, I reluctantly agreed, assuming it would be a one-time thing. However, since then, they've been coming over every day without asking, bringing friends and kids over to swim.

It's starting to feel like they're taking advantage of my kindness. I work from home and often find them using the pool during work hours, which is really distracting.

I've tried dropping hints about needing privacy and not always wanting guests over, but they seem oblivious. I feel uncomfortable having to confront them directly about this, but I also don't want them to continue using my pool without permission.

Am I the a*****e for wanting to set boundaries with my neighbor over using my pool without asking each time? Really need outside perspective.

The Slippery Slope of Neighborly Favors

This story highlights the fine line between being a good neighbor and being taken advantage of. Initially, the OP's gesture of kindness was met with gratitude, but that goodwill quickly turned into an expectation. The neighbor’s casual invasion of privacy transforms a simple favor into a daily intrusion, with the OP feeling trapped in a situation they didn't fully anticipate.

The situation underscores a common dilemma: where do you draw the line? When one person's hospitality becomes another's entitlement, it can create resentment, not just for the neighbor but also for the OP, who now feels the weight of their own generosity. It raises questions about how much we should give before demanding respect for our personal space.

The neighbor’s “just for today” pool use quickly stops being a favor and starts looking like a schedule.

Comment from u/random_pool_dolphin87

NTA - It's your property, and you have the right to set boundaries. They should respect that.

Comment from u/lounger_lover22

Bruh, NTA. They're straight up taking advantage of you. Time for a talk, set those boundaries.

Comment from u/splash_attack99

Totally get where you're coming from. They're overstepping. NTA for wanting some peace and privacy.

Comment from u/floatie_fanatic

NTA - You're not a public pool. They need to ask every time. That's just common courtesy.

When OP finds them swimming while she’s working from home, it stops feeling neighborly and starts feeling invasive.

Comment from u/wave_rider76

You gotta put your foot down. NTA. They're being rude, using your pool like it's theirs.

This is similar to a roommate’s partner taking over the work-from-home space.

Comment from u/sunscreen_slinger64

NTA at all. It's your space, your rules. They're pushing it too far.

Comment from u/poolside_chatterbox

NTA - They're being inconsiderate. Have a chat and set those boundaries. You deserve your privacy.

After the hints about privacy fail, OP is stuck between not wanting a confrontation and not wanting daily strangers at her place.

Comment from u/float_instructor1

You're not wrong for wanting your space respected.

Comment from u/dive_deep_blue22

They're totally disrespecting your space. NTA for wanting to establish some limits. You gotta speak up.

Comment from u/towel_tosser82

NTA - Your neighbor is being rude by not checking in each time. Set those boundaries before it gets out of hand.

With the neighbor bringing friends and kids every day, OP’s kindness is starting to look like an open invitation.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

The Community's Divided Response

The Bigger Picture

This story serves as a reminder that even the simplest acts of kindness can spiral into complicated relationships.

Why This Matters

In this situation, the original poster’s initial kindness quickly turned into an expectation from her neighbor, illustrating how easily boundaries can blur in neighborly interactions. While she allowed the neighbor to use her pool as a temporary favor, the daily intrusions during her work hours reveal a lack of awareness or disregard for her needs. This dynamic often happens when hospitality shifts into entitlement, leaving the generous party feeling exploited and uncomfortable. It’s a relatable struggle that many face when trying to balance kindness with the necessity of personal space.

OP isn’t the bad guy for wanting her pool to come with permission again.

Before you confront your neighbor, see how Reddit debated setting boundaries with a free-roaming cat.