New Dad Gets Into Argument With Wife Over Her Family Taking Their Baby Upstairs Using The Escalator, Redditors React

A new dad just wanted his baby to be safe, but a trip upstairs almost turned into a full-blown marriage argument. The whole thing started with a pretty normal routine, except the method was not normal for him: his wife’s family took their young son up using the escalator.

OP said he felt uneasy because his baby was still very small, and escalators are one of those “sounds fine until it isn’t” situations. His wife didn’t see it the same way, and the disagreement quickly shifted from the escalator itself to who should be consulted whenever their child’s safety is on the line.

Now he’s wondering if he’s overreacting, or if he’s right to insist on being asked before anything involving the baby’s safety happens.

OP writes

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

OP felt uncomfortable with it because his son is a young baby

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

Should the OP's wife have consulted him first?

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

While his in-laws were moving the baby toward the escalator, OP was stuck thinking about how fast things can go wrong with a young child.

Parental Concerns and Safety

The new dad's discomfort regarding the safety of his child highlights a common parental instinct to protect.

This instinct is a natural response to the pressures of parenting, where the stakes feel incredibly high.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I believe I could possibly be the asshole for wanting my wife to consult me first for any decision that involves my child’s safety, if she is able to. My wife disagrees and says I need to trust her decision-making skills as well. I do trust her, but if she is able to consult me first, I think she should do so. My wife could also possibly be the asshole for not consulting me about the situation first.

The Reddit post got hundreds of comments, and here are a bunch of them

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

OP does have his own choice

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

I will take the baby and wait for the elevator

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

That’s when the argument stopped being about the escalator and became about whether OP should be consulted before any safety-related choice.

This echoes the OP debating skipping their best friend’s baby shower because of a fear of babies.

It's important to recognize that differing opinions on safety can lead to conflict in parenting roles.

OP should have expressed his thoughts right there

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

The OP doesn't want that to happen again

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

OP's wife has a right to make decisions

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

OP even floated the idea that he might be the asshole for wanting input first, but Redditors didn’t exactly let that slide.

Effective communication between partners is crucial when navigating parenting disagreements.

Creating a collaborative approach allows both partners to feel valued and understood, ultimately benefiting the child's well-being.

It wasn't a good time for anyone

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

OP's wife should consult him first

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

OP's compromise is quite reasonable

Reddit/Born-Sprinkles6622

In the end, the escalator incident became the reason OP didn’t want a repeat, even if his wife felt he should just trust her judgment.

To foster a supportive parenting environment, couples can implement strategies such as regular check-ins and discussing parenting philosophies.

Redditors advised the OP to speak out immediately on anything he thinks could be a safety concern. He was told not to worry if his in-laws viewed him as being overly cautious or paranoid, as they raised their children in a different era with either nonexistent or very loose safety regulations.

Still, the OP was declared the AH, and you can share this story with your loved ones to get their own verdict as well.

This situation underscores the critical need for open communication and mutual understanding in parenting decisions.

He might be right to worry, but the family’s escalator habit is the kind of thing that keeps stirring the same fight.

For another “did I need to ask first?” fight, read about a partner upset over kitten adoption without consultation.