Redditor Asks If She's An A**hole For Giving Her Ex "Piece Of Her Mind" For Not Paying Child Support
"Dude's a deadbeat."
A 28-year-old woman refused to let her ex’s “I disappeared” era slide, and now she’s wondering if she crossed the line. The whole thing blew up after she finally reconnected with the father of her daughter, the same man who went missing right when she needed support most.
Here’s the messy part: when she got pregnant, he ghosted her completely. No calls, no answers, nothing. She tried to reach him for years, then when her daughter turned five and started asking why she didn’t have a dad, she had to keep explaining it away with “he’s working far away,” even though she knew it was a lie she couldn’t keep up forever.
And when the ex finally showed up and child support came up, she gave him exactly what he’d been avoiding, so now Reddit wants to know if she was an a-hole or just done being nice.
The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for being mean to her ex about child support.
Reddit/mama_cannaShe explained that when she became pregnant with her daughter, her ex ghosted her and ignored every attempt she made to contact him.

The emotional weight of child support issues is evident in the story of the Redditor, who encounters her daughter's father after years apart. This situation highlights the complex feelings surrounding fairness and responsibility that often accompany such confrontations. When one parent feels neglected or wronged, as the Redditor suggests she does regarding her ex's lack of support, it can lead to increased conflict and resentment. These emotions not only complicate their relationship but also have significant implications for their child's well-being. Navigating these waters is never easy, and the Redditor's decision to confront her ex illustrates the intense struggle many face in seeking accountability while trying to maintain a semblance of co-parenting harmony.
The OP says she tried everything she could to contact him.
But after three years, she finally decided to give up and move on.
While he stayed gone after she got pregnant, OP kept trying to contact him, and the silence turned into years of frustration she never got to unload.
Studies in the Journal of Family Issues show that unresolved financial disputes often lead to ongoing emotional conflict and can impact the child’s well-being.
When parents are in conflict over finances, it can create an unstable environment for children, leading to feelings of insecurity.
Understanding these dynamics is critical for fostering healthier co-parenting relationships.
When the OP's daughter turned five, she began asking questions about why she didn't have a dad.
The OP told her daughter that her dad was working "far away" and that she had lost contact with him.
The Emotional Impact of Financial Disputes
The emotional toll of financial disputes can extend beyond the immediate parties involved, significantly affecting children.
Now, the OP is happily married, and her husband has two little boys.
A year later, the OP was working at a dealership when her daughter's father walked in.
When she told their daughter the “far away” story at age five, it wasn’t just awkward, it was painful because she still didn’t have real answers.
From a therapeutic perspective, addressing financial disputes requires open communication and a focus on co-parenting goals.
After he left, the OP asked her colleague for the phone number her ex had left.
She discussed it with her husband before deciding to contact her ex and let him know about his daughter.
Strategies for Effective Co-Parenting
Research shows that couples who engage in structured communication report fewer conflicts and better co-parenting outcomes.
This proactive approach can help mitigate feelings of resentment and promote cooperation.
It also echoes the friend who borrowed business money and then dodged repayment.
The OP sent him a text message.
He agreed with the OP but said he wanted a paternity test first.
That’s when the confrontation finally happened, and OP’s “piece of her mind” about child support landed like a match in dry grass.
Engaging in co-parenting counseling can also be beneficial for parents struggling with financial disputes.
But after that, the OP's ex completely ghosted her once again.
The judge ordered him to pay an amount based on his yearly wages (which was significantly more than he had claimed) as well as back pay.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP was too harsh for coming down on her ex, or is he out of line for not paying child support all these years?
We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.
Of course, he wasn't happy with the outcome, but the OP says it's his own fault.
Now the Redditor is wondering if she's the a**hole here.
Here's how people reacted.
Reddit/CatMomma82
"Child support is for the benefit of the child."
Reddit/CakeisaDie
Just let the lawyers deal with it.
Reddit/Ok-Profession-9372
It's about the child, not the parents.
Reddit/judgy_mcjudgypants
"Dude's a deadbeat."
Reddit/SegaNeptune28
"He has no choice."
Reddit/Outrageous_Lab375
Now OP is happily married with two little boys in the picture, but her ex’s sudden presence still has Reddit judging her for what she said back then.
The emotional and financial complexities surrounding child support disputes are vividly illustrated in the situation faced by Reddit user u/mama_canna. Her encounter with her daughter's father after years of absence raises critical questions about the responsibilities of parenthood and the impact of these dynamics on co-parenting relationships.
The necessity for open communication in such scenarios cannot be overstated. By confronting her ex about child support, u/mama_canna highlights the importance of collaboration in resolving conflicts that can affect not only the parents but also the well-being of their child. This incident serves as a reminder that addressing these issues directly can lead to healthier relationships and better outcomes for children caught in the middle of parental disputes.
He might be wondering if he really earned that “piece of her mind,” and the family dinner did not end well.
Still debating fairness after the ex ghosted you over child support, see a woman asking a friend to repay money during financial hardship.