Woman Just Had A Baby And Is Ready For A Drink At Lunch, But Her Friend Is Asking Her Not To Drink

A 28-year-old new mom was finally getting her long-awaited lunch hang with friends, and she was ready to have a drink. She’d just had a baby, plans had been hard to coordinate, and this was her chance to loosen up for a couple hours, not sit at home feeling like she’s “on pause” forever.

Here’s where it gets messy: her friend asked her to keep it “just lunch,” no alcohol, because the friend wouldn’t be drinking. OP wasn’t trying to control anyone’s order, but the request landed like a rule, not a preference. Suddenly it wasn’t “come out with us,” it was “agree with me, or you’re the problem.”

And the group is stuck in the middle, wondering why one person’s no-drink plan gets treated like a vote for everyone.

She starts off by telling us how she just had a baby and has been waiting to go out with friends for a drink.

u/hoginlly

They made plans to get drinks, and OP explains a bit about how difficult it is to make plans as a group.

hoginlly

She wants to drink a little and let loose while she can since having a baby.

hoginlly

OP starts off celebrating the fact that she’s finally out with friends after all the baby-era scheduling chaos, and then her friend drops the “just lunch” condition.

The situation presented in the AITA post highlights the intense social expectations surrounding drinking for new mothers. These expectations can create significant pressure, as society often promotes the idea that new parents should avoid certain behaviors, such as enjoying a drink during a casual lunch. This pressure can lead to feelings of guilt or shame for those who wish to engage in social activities that might seem at odds with their new responsibilities.

Moreover, the emotional toll of such societal narratives cannot be underestimated. The pressures to conform to these norms can exacerbate stress and anxiety during what is already a vulnerable time for new parents, further complicating their transition into parenthood.

She says that this is when a friend asks for it to be "just lunch" and no drinks because she won't be drinking.

hoginlly

OP states that she's not asking her friend to drink but is simply expressing that she still wants to.

hoginlly

Her friend says she won't be having fun, but OP is standing firm in her stance.

hoginlly

The friend insists it won’t be fun if OP drinks, even though OP keeps repeating she’s not asking anyone else to drink.

New mothers often benefit from supportive social networks that respect their choices without judgment.

Establishing norms within friend groups about alcohol consumption can create a more inclusive environment, allowing mothers to feel comfortable making their own choices.

It’s the same “split the costs” fight as refusing to split a pregnancy gift after financial constraints.

Her friends are on the fence but would like her to cooperate because their friend asked her to.

hoginlly

The first comment received a lot of love. It states that OP is NTA and that it's worse to drink when someone can't.

zalkaare

This person is confused as to why it's an all-or-nothing group decision and why this friend seems to think she can dictate the group's decision.

StAlvis

The friends get stuck on the fence, because they want to cooperate with the friend who requested no alcohol for the group.

The decision to drink while parenting can evoke complex emotions.

OP actually responded to the comment above by saying this. She feels that it's very odd as well and agrees with the comment.

hognilly

This comment was silly, and we just felt we needed something lighthearted in here.

catqueen2001

Simply put, if she wants to have a drink, then she should have a drink. She shouldn't feel bad for that.

Saraqael_Rising

In the comments, someone calls it out as “worse to drink when someone can’t,” and that’s where the debate really sparks about who gets to dictate the plan.

Encouraging open dialogues can help normalize various parenting styles and choices, reducing feelings of isolation.

OP reiterates that her friend never stopped drinking around her when she was pregnant.

weliketoruinjokes

Pretty much everyone said that OP was NTA, and we have to agree with them on this. It's been quite the story, and we just hope that OP gets to have that drink she's been waiting months to enjoy.

Do you think she should have the drink when she goes out to lunch?

Navigating the complexities of motherhood often brings with it a whirlwind of societal expectations and personal choices.

OP isn’t the villain for ordering a drink, but her friend sure tried to turn lunch into a group punishment.

New-mom pressure meets money drama, read about questionable baby-fund spending after a friend bought a designer handbag.