Restaurant Worker Secretly Serves Pregnant Woman Non-Alcoholic Cocktails And Gets Heavily Criticized For It

The ‘AITA’ subreddit has more than 2.4 million members. It’s a place for strange stories where people ask others to tell them whether they were being jerks. The questions prove that reality can often be stranger than fiction.

One post that involved a server at a restaurant and an allegedly pregnant woman garnered a lot of attention from Redditors and the media. The waiter served the woman ‘virgin’ (i.e., non-alcoholic) cocktails, but she didn’t know they were non-alcoholic.

She eventually found out, and the waiter suffered the consequences. Most people on the ‘AITA’ subreddit disapproved of the server’s actions.

A spokesperson for the British Pregnancy Advisory Service states that “there is no compelling evidence of harm at lower levels of alcohol consumption. General precautionary advice to abstain is not based on evidence of harm caused by consumption, but rather on the inability to rule out the risk.”

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Ethics in Service and Autonomy

The dilemma faced by the restaurant worker speaks volumes about the ethics of service and the balance between intention and autonomy.

Research in ethical psychology suggests that actions taken with good intentions can still infringe upon personal autonomy, which can lead to conflict.

Dr. Judith L. Gold’s work on ethical dilemmas highlights the importance of considering the recipient's perspective when making decisions that affect them.

This situation underscores the need for clear communication and respect for individual choices in social settings.

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Fostering discussions around ethical decision-making in service industries is crucial for creating a respectful environment.

According to studies featured in the Journal of Business Ethics, training programs that include role-playing and ethical scenario discussions can enhance workers' decision-making skills.

By empowering employees to think critically about their actions, organizations can promote a culture of respect and autonomy.

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“While the available evidence points to a causal relationship between extremely high levels of drinking and harm, this evidence is predicated on an inability to rule out potential confounders (e.g., nutrition, other substance use, and more general socio-economic factors) that could be at play.

However, as the British Medical Association (BMA) notes, ‘Only four to five percent of children born to women who consumed large amounts of alcohol during pregnancy are affected by the full syndrome presentation,'” a BPAS representative said.

They emphasized that women are “entitled to make their own decisions regarding alcohol consumption during pregnancy, and the majority of women do abstain.”

The BPAS spokesperson continued: “Pregnant women ‘regulate’ their own consumption during pregnancy. Data shows that only a very small minority (2.9 percent) of women drink more than one unit of alcohol per week during pregnancy.”

According to the BPAS, the risks from drinking small amounts of alcohol during pregnancy might be exaggerated. “At BPAS, we see women who are so concerned about their alcohol consumption—often before they even realize they are pregnant—that they are considering ending an otherwise wanted pregnancy.

The majority of pregnancies in the UK are not formally planned, and it may be several weeks before a woman suspects she is pregnant.”

“Alcohol is enjoyed by many women of reproductive age, and inevitably this means significant numbers of women will have drunk fairly heavily before finding out they were pregnant. These women need reassurance and accurate information,” the spokesperson explained.

“Within the UK, there is guidance directed to (potentially) pregnant women concerning alcohol consumption. The UK Chief Medical Officer’s ‘Low Risk Drinking Guidelines’ (2016) recommends ‘the safest level of alcohol consumption is no consumption at all.’

This recommendation was not given in light of any emerging evidence of harm, but rather due to the notion that women needed ‘simplicity’ in messaging. It adopts a purely precautionary stance (‘Why risk it?’), which is not reflective of the paucity of evidence regarding low-level consumption and harm.”

Most redditors believed that the waiter was in the wrong

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The Redditors who labeled the original poster a jerk had many different arguments for why the waiter was in the wrong. For instance, there was no way of knowing that the woman was really pregnant.

Other people pointed out that non-alcoholic cocktails are cheaper than alcoholic ones in some bars, so this deception could be considered stealing. However, the cost of virgin and “real” drinks doesn’t differ at all in some bars, so this claim is on thin ice.

Overall, the majority of Redditors sided with the principles of free will and non-intervention: you don’t fix someone else’s food without them knowing it, even if you mean well.

The CDC states that mothers drinking alcohol during pregnancy can cause fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (or FASDs). “These effects can include physical problems and problems with behavior and learning.”

“There is no known safe amount of alcohol during pregnancy or when trying to get pregnant. There is also no safe time to drink during pregnancy. Alcohol can cause problems for a developing baby throughout pregnancy, including before a woman knows she’s pregnant. All types of alcohol are equally harmful, including all wines and beer.”

Psychological Analysis

This scenario reveals the tension between good intentions and personal autonomy.

By prioritizing open communication and respect for individual choices, we can create environments that honor both service and autonomy.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the ethics of service highlights the complexities involved in everyday interactions.

Psychological research indicates that intention alone does not justify actions that may override others' autonomy.

Ultimately, promoting ethical awareness can improve relationships in service settings and foster mutual respect.