She Finally Found A Quiet Space In Her New Home—But When Her Friend Started Showing Up Every Day, Things Got Complicated

She finally got the quiet space she needed in her new home, and it was supposed to feel like a fresh start. Then her friend Mia started showing up every day, and suddenly “hanging out” turned into something that felt impossible to escape.

The OP is 15, adopted at 12, and lives with her mom, her two little sisters, and a whole lot of family energy. There’s even a 1-bedroom apartment above the garage where her aunt and cousins stay, so the house is lively even when nobody’s trying to be. After being diagnosed with autism, she joined group therapy and made Mia, 16, who had a rough home situation. At first, Mia’s visits were a kind gesture, but soon they became constant.

And the moment the OP said she needed her space, Mia’s reaction turned the whole thing into a messy, daily problem.

While the OP likes Mia, having someone constantly around started to feel overwhelming.

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Original Post

I (15f) was adopted when I was 12. I also have 2 little sisters (6 and 4) that are bio sisters and were adopted when they were 2 and newborn.

Our mom is a really great mom. She takes us to the beach to make sand castles and have picnics when it’s warm and we take day trips to the mountains to play in the snow and we do movie nights with pizza every Thursday. There’s also a 1 bedroom apartment above the garage and our aunt lives there with our cousins (7, 10, and 12) but they’re in the house with us all day. It’s a lot of fun. I was diagnosed with autism a few months ago and my mom signed me up for a group therapy thing for me to learn communication skills and coping skills and stuff like that. I made a friend at group (Mia 16). We hung out outside of group a few times and my mom invited her over for dinner with us and my aunt and cousins and my other aunt that lives close to us. Something kinda important to the story is that Mia doesn’t have a great family. They haven’t really done anything but they don’t really care about what she does or where she goes or if she gets sick or anything. So she came to my house and saw all of the people and chaos and everything and she told my mom about her family and my mom started letting her come over after group then just started letting her come over whenever so she’d come over like 4 or 5 days a week. I like Mia but I don’t like having people in my space that much. At least when my family’s here I can go to my room if I need space but when Mia’s here it’s like she’s always with me. I talked to my mom about it and I told her that I don’t want Mia here all the time because I need my space and she apologized for letting Mia come over a lot without asking me so now Mia only comes over if I invite her. The problem is Mia’s upset that she can’t come over anymore so she’s been getting mad at me when I see her at group and she says I’m being selfish by not letting her come over anymore and I wanted to see if I was wrong.

Let's see how the Reddit community reacted.

KopytoaMnouk

She needs to learn boundaries.

today-tomorrow-etc

She's latching onto your mom as a surrogate.

SeegzyRedditRead

NTA.

First-Industry4762

You aren't responsible for Mia's situation.

LostEmory

You're well within your rights.

ItsaTheMal

This is a lot like the AITA fight where a woman confronted her sister-in-law over disciplining her child.

You're not her support animal.

GrlInt3r46

You don't owe her access to your life.

WomanInQuestion

You have a right to your own space.

booboo773

She needs to make some other friends.

NekoMao92

You don't owe her time in your home.

Spare_Ad5009

A good topic for the therapist.

Cheap-Equivalent-761

She should understand that you need your space.

SafetyFluid8535

Mia goes from group friend to “always around” after the mom starts letting her come by 4 or 5 days a week, and the OP realizes she can’t just disappear into her room when she needs quiet.

The OP finally tells her mom she doesn’t want Mia over all the time, and the mom apologizes and changes the rules so Mia only comes if the OP invites her.

The problem is, Mia hears “only sometimes” as rejection, so every time the OP sees her at group, Mia gets mad like it’s personal.

Sometimes even the kindest situations can get messy, especially when everyone’s needs are different.

The worst part is that the more the OP asked for boundaries, the more Mia treated it like a reason to escalate.

Before you judge Mia’s daily “friend visits,” read about splitting a mother’s jewelry among siblings.