Autistic Man Decides to Shave His Face Without Informing Girlfriend; She Blames Him for Not Communicating

"I'm allowed to do whatever I want to."

Many autistic people struggle with back-and-forth discussions, despite the common misconception that they are indifferent to conversation or social engagement. They might find subjects boring that others find interesting, or they may have difficulty understanding social cues.

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That does not imply, however, that they do not value relationships. Although they may not always express it in conventional ways, autistic individuals frequently develop strong, enduring relationships with others.

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Autism is a multifaceted disorder that impacts interpersonal and social abilities. People with autism may find it challenging to make eye contact, read social signs, or engage in back-and-forth dialogue.

Additionally, they may prefer spending time alone over socializing. The original poster (OP) for today's story is autistic, and his social skills are hindered by what he feels is best for him.

The OP shaved his face because he resides in the UK, where it is humid and muggy. He informed his partner of four months that he had done so, but she told him that "she had every right to know" and that it was a "lack of communication."

The OP states that the hair isn't the issue; rather, it's the fact that he did not tell her before doing it. He told her she had no right to be annoyed with him for shaving his face because he is allowed to do whatever he wants with it.

Keep scrolling down to read the entire story for yourself.

The Headline

The HeadlineReddit/TheOliiOne
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It's Untrusting to Not Communicate with Someone About Something

It's Untrusting to Not Communicate with Someone About SomethingReddit/TheOliiOne
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OP Has Offered the Following Explanation for Why They Think They Might Be the A-Hole:

I have a lack of social skills stemming from autism and a few other mental health conditions; sometimes I can be unaware of others and how my actions might affect them. So, doing this and receiving that response made me feel like I had hurt her or that she thought I had lied to her.

And the Comments from Other Redditors Roll In...

And the Comments from Other Redditors Roll In...Reddit/TheOliiOne

The Role of Communication in Relationships

Effective communication is fundamental to healthy relationships, especially when unexpected changes occur. In this case, the decision to shave without informing the girlfriend can be seen as a lack of consideration for her feelings. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, notes, "When partners fail to communicate about changes, it can create feelings of betrayal and insecurity, as trust is a key component of any relationship." Transparency in relationships fosters security and closeness, as highlighted on her professional website, drramani.com. Understanding the emotional impact of these actions is essential for both partners to navigate their feelings.

I Thought This Was a Party

I Thought This Was a PartyReddit/TheOliiOne

It's Her Problem, Not a You Problem

It's Her Problem, Not a You ProblemReddit/TheOliiOne

It's My Body, and I Can Shave When I Want

It's My Body, and I Can Shave When I WantReddit/TheOliiOne

Moreover, the emotional reaction from the girlfriend may stem from her attachment to the partner's appearance. Attachment theory suggests that individuals often form bonds based on shared experiences and familiarity, including physical traits. When a significant change occurs without communication, it can create a sense of disconnection and insecurity.

Recognizing this can help both partners understand the underlying issues driving their reactions.

Your Body, Your Choices

Your Body, Your ChoicesReddit/TheOliiOne

The OP Left This in the Comments

She's had her hair done and did not involve me at all; I didn't particularly mind, as long as she felt good, then all's groovy.But that's what I thought: "Would you come to me to ask or tell me about your change in appearance?"If this was Botox or something constructive, I'd have felt like she or I could have an input, I guess.

The OP Didn't Misconstrue the Situation

The OP Didn't Misconstrue the SituationReddit/TheOliiOne

The OP Didn't Have Any Obligation to

The OP Didn't Have Any Obligation toReddit/TheOliiOne

Strategies for Better Communication

To foster better communication, both partners can benefit from establishing a practice of sharing decisions that may affect the relationship. For instance, discussing changes in appearance ahead of time can create a sense of collaboration rather than unilateral decisions. Research shows that couples who engage in discussions about their choices report higher relationship satisfaction.

Creating a safe space for these conversations can help both partners feel valued and respected.

This Is a Massive Red Flag

This Is a Massive Red FlagReddit/TheOliiOne

We All Move On with Our Lives

We All Move On with Our LivesReddit/TheOliiOne

He Never Tells Them Beforehand

He Never Tells Them BeforehandReddit/TheOliiOne

Additionally, practicing active listening can enhance understanding and empathy. Relationship experts recommend that both partners take the time to express their feelings and concerns without interruption. This practice can deepen emotional intimacy and reduce misunderstandings, promoting a stronger connection over time.

Ultimately, fostering open dialogue about personal choices can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

The urge to ask why things are the way they are in order to make sense of them is one of the most universal human traits. Asking why someone is wearing this or doing that is human nature, whether it's out of judgment or simple curiosity.

However, it's the OP's body, and he did say he wouldn't question the girlfriend if she did anything to her face or body. Redditors declared the OP not the AH.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the importance of communication in relationships, particularly when it comes to personal choices that affect both partners. It's essential for individuals to consider how their actions impact their partners and to engage in open dialogue about these decisions. By fostering a culture of communication, couples can navigate changes more effectively and strengthen their bond.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, communication is vital in addressing feelings of insecurity and disconnection in relationships. By engaging in open discussions about choices and changes, partners can enhance their emotional connection and trust. Establishing a practice of transparency can significantly improve relationship dynamics.

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