Partners Lack of Empathy Causes Tension in Birthing Class Attendance

A 28-year-old woman is seven months pregnant with her first child, and she thought birthing class attendance would be the easy part of the plan. Her partner, 30, has been mostly supportive so far, but the closer they get to the classes, the more obvious it becomes that support has limits.

He is squeamish about medical procedures, the kind of guy who jokes about fainting at the sight of blood and gets overwhelmed when emotions run high. They were supposed to go together, but when class day arrives, he suddenly has excuses, work commitments, feeling unwell, anything but showing up. She ends up going alone, feeling anxious, hurt, and like her feelings do not matter.

Now she has to decide whether the real problem is his empathy, his commitment, or both.

Original Post

I (28F) am currently 7 months pregnant with our first child. My partner (30M) has been mostly supportive throughout the pregnancy, but there's one issue causing tension between us - birthing classes.

For context, my partner has always been squeamish about medical procedures and is generally not great with handling intense emotions. We had planned to attend birthing classes together to prepare for the big day.

However, as the classes approached, my partner started expressing discomfort. He would make jokes about fainting at the sight of blood or feeling overwhelmed by the process.

I tried to reassure him and explain the importance of being there for me, but he didn't seem to take it seriously. When it was time to go to the first class, my partner suddenly came up with excuses - work commitments, feeling unwell, you name it.

I was hurt and disappointed by his lack of empathy and commitment. I went alone, feeling the weight of his absence.

This pattern continued for the next few classes. Each time, he would find a reason to skip them, leaving me to attend by myself.

It made me feel unsupported and anxious about the upcoming birth. I finally confronted him about how his behavior was affecting me, but he brushed it off, saying he didn't see the point in attending.

I'm now torn between wanting him to be there for me during this crucial time and feeling frustrated by his lack of understanding. So, AITA for not wanting my partner to attend birthing classes due to his lack of empathy?

The Weight of Empathy

This story really shines a light on the importance of emotional support during pregnancy, especially when the stakes feel incredibly high. The soon-to-be mother is seven months along, and her partner’s discomfort with the medical aspects of childbirth isn’t just a minor issue; it’s causing real tension at a time when she needs him the most. It’s a stark reminder that pregnancy isn’t just a physical journey but an emotional one, too.

Readers can resonate with the feeling of isolation that comes when a partner isn’t fully engaged. It raises the question: is it fair to expect someone to participate in something that makes them uncomfortable, especially when it’s pivotal for their partner's experience? It’s a moral grey area that many have faced, making this story relatable and thought-provoking.

Comment from u/cheeseburger_fanatic

Comment from u/the_mountain_climber

Comment from u/music_lover_007

He starts with fainting jokes and “I can’t handle this,” right as OP is trying to treat birthing classes like a shared mission.

When the first class rolls around, his excuses hit fast, and OP walks in alone while he stays home.

This is also like the woman whose fear of medical procedures stopped her from joining ultrasound appointments.

Community Reactions Reveal Divisions

The community's response to the original poster's dilemma highlights the complexity of relationships during pregnancy.

Comment from u/dolphin_diver_22

Comment from u/pizza_roll_connoisseur

Each skipped class stacks up, and the “it’s not that important” attitude makes her confrontation feel like it lands on deaf ears.

At this point, OP is stuck between wanting him there for the birth and resenting that he keeps bailing on the prep that matters to her.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

Where Things Stand

The tension between the couple in this story is a microcosm of broader issues many expectant parents face. It’s not just about attending classes but about emotional readiness and support during a transformative life stage. As readers reflect on this scenario, they might ask themselves: how do we balance personal discomfort with being there for our partners? It’s a question that resonates beyond this couple, inviting us to think about our own relationships and the complexities they entail.

Why This Matters

The situation between the soon-to-be mother and her partner illustrates a deeper struggle with emotional support during a pivotal moment in their lives. His jokes about fainting and excuses to skip birthing classes highlight his discomfort with the medical aspects of childbirth, which seems to overshadow the emotional needs of his partner who is looking for reassurance and solidarity. This lack of empathy can understandably lead to feelings of isolation and disappointment, especially as she navigates the challenges of pregnancy alone, raising important questions about how partners can better support each other in the face of fear and anxiety.

He might be the only one who thinks birthing classes are optional, and OP is done paying that emotional price.

Want the verdict on sending your partner to birthing classes alone? See what happened when she chose her mental health over his support.