Poor Person Explained What Invisible Poverty Looks Like To His Rich Friend And It Will Change Your Perception Of Life

Invisible poverty can be hard to spot, especially when someone looks like they are managing just fine on the outside. This story shows how quickly that assumption falls apart when money is tight, bills keep coming, and every small setback can wipe out what little progress has been made.

It centers on a person trying to explain poverty to a rich friend who thinks saving is simple. What follows is a blunt look at paycheck-to-paycheck life, emergency expenses, and why some people never get the financial cushion others take for granted.

By the end, the real issue is not just money, it is how differently people see survival. Read on.

It begins simply:

"I tried to explain to a friend of mine who has never been poor in his life why poverty is a cycle and why it’s so difficult to escape poverty."

Just save money!

"His response was,  “Just save money.” I kept trying to explain that when you are living paycheck to paycheck, there really is no saving money because most of your income is being spent on basic needs: food, shelter, clothing, and transportation." 

"So, then he responded,  “Well, why can’t you just save $5 every week?” Well, a lot of poor people do try to save. I would manage to get a few hundred in my savings account, but then you get a flat tire, or you end up getting sick and miss a week of work, or you have an unexpected bill. And that few hundred dollars suddenly disappears. I tried to explain to him that when you’re poor, unanticipated expenses can very quickly and easily deplete what little you have in your savings account and put you back at square one."

"I also tried to explain that when you are that poor, you need to make purchases while you have the money. For example, if I needed a new pair of jeans and I had an extra $30 that week, I would buy myself a new pair of jeans that week because I didn’t know when I would have an extra $20 or $30 to spend. So, he countered that with,  “You don’t need to buy clothes. You could have put that $30 in your savings.”"

This isn't Disney, we can't walk around like Donald Duck!!

"To which I responded,  “Well, if it were socially acceptable to walk around without pants on, then maybe poor people could climb out of poverty, but until then, when your jeans have holes in them or don’t fit you anymore, you need to get some new ones.”Then it kind of clicked for him... a little." 

"So, I went on to talk about the sociological aspects of poverty, like how growing up poor or growing up as part of a marginalized demographic pushes your starting block 100 feet behind your peers, and how our educational systems are set up to fail impoverished children. The light bulb flickered but never fully turned on. And then he said,  “I still can’t believe you were ever on food stamps.”" 

It’s the same kind of friendship fracture as the AITA question over Mark’s financial crisis, after someone declined to lend him money.

"Yes, my friend, poverty and I have a nice little reunion every few years. I know it intimately, which is why you should sit back, relax, and just listen. I never understood how it was so difficult to see the realities of poverty. To me, it is sort of common sense. What is irksome is that poverty doesn’t always present itself as an old, beat-up car or falling-apart sneakers. People who grow up middle class and financially secure seem to think that poverty looks a lot like dirty children with dirty clothes and no shoes. But it doesn’t. It can be that, but it’s often not." 

"I grew up in a nice house in the suburbs, but we were poor. We were very poor for a long time, in part due to my medical issues. People assume that because we went to Catholic school and had a nice house, we were well-off. We weren’t. My mother worked 2-3 jobs, and my parents took out loans to pay for our school tuition. My mother’s parents helped pay for some of our education, even though they were also incredibly poor. My parents sometimes struggled to put food on the table. I never had clothes that were dirty or falling apart, but most of my clothes and shoes were hand-me-downs from my older cousins. In fact, a lot of my toys were, too. Both of my parents grew up in poverty. My father, especially, grew up in complete and abject poverty. Their parents grew up in poverty, and so did their parents. My parents made immense sacrifices to set us up for financial success, but life always finds a way to intervene. Personally, my health issues have been the driving factor behind my own financial issues. I have amassed thousands of dollars in medical debt. I work a job that doesn’t utilize my degree at all because I can work part-time and still receive benefits, and because I know I won’t get fired if I need to take extended absences due to my health." 

"So, when you say,  “I still can’t believe you were ever on food stamps,” you are really saying,  “I have this picture in my head of what poverty looks like, and you don’t fit that image.” That idea we have about what poverty is supposed to look like is a big reason why people in the middle class are so content with cutting safety net programs, even though they are one medical problem, one car accident, or one layoff away from complete financial ruin. What does poverty look like,  then? How do you “just save money”,  then?" 

Do you relate to this? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Have a little compassion and donate when you can: poverty is all around us, even if it doesn't look how we think it should.

Before you say yes, read how one friend blew his paycheck on non-essential luxuries and still asked to borrow money.