Artist Creates Portraits Under Influence Of LSD During Research, And They Are Strange Window Into Human Mind

A 28-year-old man starts the day with charcoal, a pad of paper, and a timeline that reads like a science experiment diary. Twenty minutes in, he’s drawing like he’s barely felt anything at all, insisting, “Condition normal… no effect from the drug yet.” Then the minutes stack up, and the drawings start telling a different story, one vivid color shift at a time.

At different checkpoints, the notes get stranger and stranger. First there’s the euphoria, “I can see you all clearly,” and the pencil that feels like it wants to keep moving without him. Then the outlines go weird, the hand stops looking like a hand, and he laughs, startled by something on the floor. He even changes mediums to Tempera, climbs into the activity box, and goes largely non-verbal as the page turns into a maze of “interwoven” faces and mumbled tunes.

By the time he retreats to the bunk and spends hours lying down, waving his hands, the experiment stops feeling like “research” and starts feeling like a window into how perception can melt in real time.

“First drawing is done 20 minutes after the first dose (50ug).”

“An attending doctor observes – Patient chooses to start drawing with charcoal. The subject of the experiment reports – ‘Condition normal… no effect from the drug yet.'”

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“85 minutes after the first dose and 20 minutes after a second dose has been administered (50ug + 50ug).”

“The patient seems euphoric. ‘I can see you all clearly, so clearly. This… you… it’s all… I’m having a little trouble controlling this pencil. It seems to want to keep going.'”

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“2 hours and 30 minutes after the first dose.”

“Patient appears very focused on the business of drawing. ‘Outlines seem normal, but very vivid — everything is changing color. My hand must follow the bold sweep of the lines. I feel as if my consciousness is situated in the part of my body that’s now active — my hand, my elbow… my tongue.'”

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“2 hours and 32 minutes after the first dose.”

“Patient seems gripped by his pad of paper. ‘I’m trying another drawing. The outlines of the model are normal, but now those of my drawing are not. The outline of my hand is going weird, too. It’s not a very good drawing, is it? I give — I’ll try again…'”

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“2 hours and 35 minutes after the first dose.”

“Patient follows quickly with another drawing. ‘I’ll do a drawing in one flourish… without stopping… one line, no break!’ Upon completing the drawing, the patient starts laughing, then becomes startled by something on the floor.”

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“2 hours and 45 minutes after the first dose.”

“Patient tries to climb into the activity box and is generally agitated — responds slowly to the suggestion he might like to draw some more. He has become largely non-verbal. ‘I am… everything is… changed… they’re calling… your face… interwoven… who is…’ Patient mumbles inaudibly to a tune (sounds like ‘Thanks for the Memory’). He changes medium to Tempera.'”

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“4 hours and 25 minutes after the first dose.”

“Patient retreated to the bunk, spending approximately 2 hours lying down, waving his hands in the air. His return to the activity box is sudden and deliberate, changing media to pen and watercolor. ‘This will be the best drawing, like the first one, only better. If I’m not careful, I’ll lose control of my movements, but I won’t, because I know. I know.’ (This saying is then repeated many times.) Patient makes the last half-a-dozen strokes of the drawing while running back and forth across the room.”

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“5 hours and 45 minutes after the first dose.”

“Patient continues to move about the room, intersecting the space in complex variations. It’s an hour and a half before he settles down to draw again — he appears to be over the effects of the drug. ‘I can feel my knees again, I think it’s starting to wear off. This is a pretty good drawing — this pencil is mighty hard to hold.’ (He is holding a crayon.)”

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“8 hours after the first dose.”

“Patient sits on the bunk bed. He reports that the intoxication has worn off, except for the occasional distortion of our faces. We ask for a final drawing, which he performs with little enthusiasm. ‘I have nothing to say about this last drawing. It is bad and uninteresting. I want to go home now.'”

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Right after he insists nothing’s happening, he chooses charcoal and the doctor’s observation basically sets the stage for the whole meltdown-to-portrait arc.

This echoes the friend who pushed an expensive dish order, leaving an unfair split bill.

Once he says he can see everyone “so clearly” and the pencil starts moving on its own, the drawings stop being attempts and start being something like a takeover.

When his outlines go wrong and he blurts “I’ll try again” after laughing at something on the floor, the whole process turns into a frantic loop of “draw, panic, redraw.”

After he switches to Tempera, gets agitated in the activity box, and becomes non-verbal by hours later, the paper feels less like art and more like a record of a mind losing its grip.

Even though Project MKUltra is well-known for its experiments with LSD, it's crucial to remember that many other tests were happening at the same time. The drawings made by the artist while on LSD give us a special glimpse into what it's like to be in a different state of mind.

They make us think about how we perceive things and why people are fascinated by psychedelic drugs.

The scariest part is that the page keeps “getting it,” even when he can’t.

For more “betrayal on the same dates” drama, read about the friend who secretly booked other travel plans during a birthday surprise.