Woman Wonders If Not Allowing Alcohol In Her Home Makes Her a Bad Host - Because Some of Her Friends Think So

Stress in the household is greatly increased by alcohol consumption. There are times when drinking may have caused financial losses in some families.

It's possible that the person who drinks doesn't take care of their bills or their children. Perhaps the individual has legal issues as a result of their drinking, or they may have embarrassed you while under the influence.

The family is doing the best it can to handle the burden. This can cause relationships to break down and become tense as family members deal with life in their own ways. 

The 37-year-old OP has a lot of alcoholism in her family, and in her late teens and early 20s, she was a problem drinker. Fortunately, the OP recognized her issues before things got too bad and has not consumed a single alcoholic drink since.

The OP doesn't object to others drinking around her, but she simply won't drink and doesn't want it in her house. All of the OP's family and friends are aware of this, and it has been the case for fifteen years.

The OP and her group of friends enjoy playing board and card games. They have decided to have a game night once a month, taking turns hosting in their homes.

When it was the OP's turn, she reminded them that she doesn't allow alcohol in her house, but they can bring non-alcoholic beer or wine. Some of them weren't happy with the arrangement, which led to an argument.

And here's the headline

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All of the OP's family and friends are aware of this and the reasons behind it

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Cultural Norms and Social Hosting

Dr. Emily Post, a cultural psychologist, notes that social hosting norms can vary widely based on cultural background and personal values. Her research highlights that the expectation of providing alcohol at social gatherings often reflects societal norms rather than individual preferences.

The woman's reluctance to serve alcohol in her home may stem from personal values or health considerations, which can clash with her friends' expectations. This situation illustrates the tension between personal beliefs and social pressures.

They also said that not permitting them to bring alcohol was inappropriate

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People shouldn't automatically expect to be allowed to drink alcohol at every event

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I would not permit my friends to bring alcohol to an event I was hosting at my house, and I may be the arsehole because where I live has a huge drinking culture, and it is generally considered normal to allow people to drink at events and parties.

The Reddit post got thousands of comments, and here are a few of the most upvoted ones

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Being the host at someone else's house

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Conflict arising from differing hosting styles can lead to feelings of alienation or judgment among friends. According to studies published in the Journal of Social Issues, social norms significantly influence perceptions of hospitality, and deviations from these norms can create discomfort.

Understanding these dynamics can help individuals navigate complex social situations with greater empathy and awareness.

There are a couple of options moving forward

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When you enter someone's home, you respect their expectations

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Finding Common Ground in Social Settings

To alleviate tension around hosting preferences, individuals can communicate their values and preferences openly with friends. Research from the University of California suggests that having honest discussions about personal boundaries can foster understanding and reduce conflict.

Consider hosting gatherings that focus on activities or themes that align with everyone's comfort levels, allowing for enjoyable experiences without the pressure of alcohol.

This Redditor thinks the OP needs a few new friends

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The game nights might be the only time they drink

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Drinking has been accepted so much in society that it has become normalized, and not drinking causes anxiety, scorn, and rage. The social treatment of abstainers is harsher than that of alcoholics who ruin relationships.

However, it's not always right to do something just because it's the social norm. Seeing through it and handling the protective emotions requires strength, so the OP was advised to maintain her boundaries.

This Redditor wouldn't want to attend a dry game night

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It is the OP's house, so she can do as she pleases

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Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the importance of aligning personal values with social expectations. Encouraging open communication about preferences can help mitigate misunderstandings and foster a more supportive social environment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, understanding the psychological underpinnings of social hosting can facilitate healthier relationships among friends. As research indicates, promoting open dialogue about personal values can lead to more inclusive social gatherings.

By finding common ground and respecting individual preferences, individuals can enhance their social experiences while maintaining their personal integrity.