Shattering The Myth Of ‘Real Men Don’t’ Because Real Men Do Whatever The Heck They Want
Unpacking the absurdity of masculinity’s "do’s' and 'don’ts'
In a world where toxic masculinity still rears its ugly head, the expectations placed on men can often be suffocating and downright damaging.
But thankfully, amidst the sea of crazy, there’s a glimmer of hope. More and more men are tossing these narrow definitions of masculinity out the window and embracing a more inclusive and authentic version of themselves.
One brave Redditor, u/callmevicious, even dared challenge the absurdity of it all. With a simple question, they opened the floodgates to a deluge of ridiculous ‘real men don’t’ mandates, showcasing just how laughably outdated and harmful these stereotypes truly are.
From the moment a man wakes up and pours himself a cup of coffee, he's expected to adhere to a set of random rules. Real men don't put cream in their coffee, they say. But as one wise Redditor pointed out, real men don't give a damn about what other men think of their beverage choices. Preach!
But the coffee conundrum is just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine being told that your masculinity is in question because you cook, enjoy a mocha, or—gasp—use sunscreen. As one brave soul sarcastically put it, "I am, in fact, gay then because I cook." Who knew culinary skills and sexual orientation were directly correlated?
It’s not even just about what men consume—it's about how they behave as well. Hugging their own children? Apparently, that's a no-no in the world of toxic masculinity. Because nothing says ‘manly’ like depriving your offspring of affection.
So buckle up and prepare to dive headfirst into the world of the stupidest "real men don't" statements you've ever heard.
1. Barbie movie equals being a Beta Male? Nah, it just means some men appreciate a good storyline and fabulous fashion.
I recently saw “If you’re a straight man and go see the Barbie movie you’re 100% a beta” I thought, “I’m so sorry that someone called you a beta once and that ever since you’ve been critical of your fellow man by hamfistedly dissecting everyone’s choices through an arbitrary and nonsensical social hierarchy platform that only exists to a few and matters to less! Bruh, you could do with some content that boldly and artistically tackles some questions of who we are in the universe, society and what real support and true friendship looks like. Maybe go see Barbie?”
TheyCallMeDoofus, Pavel Danilyuk2. I'll stick to saying "thingamajig," thank you very much.
My dad told me once, "Men don't say thingy."And frankly I agree. A man should speak eloquently. Be sure to enunciate. A say specifically what you mean.Besides, there are way better words than 'thingy".For example, doohickey, thingamajig, whatchyacallit, or whoswhatsit are of my favorites.
ticklish_stank_tater, cottonbro studioRedefining Masculinity in Modern Society
The traditional notions of masculinity are increasingly challenged in today's society, where rigid gender roles can lead to psychological distress. Dr. Susan David, an emotional agility expert, states, "Men often feel pressured to conform to outdated ideals, which can contribute to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression" on her website susandavid.com. Men who feel they must adhere to these norms may struggle with emotional expression, leading to a disconnect in relationships and increased feelings of isolation. As Dr. Ian Kerner, a sex therapist, notes, "This emotional suppression can create barriers in intimacy and connection, making it difficult for men to form meaningful relationships" at iankerner.com.
3. Perfect response
Real men don't put cream in their coffee. I responded with, "real men don't give a s**t what other men think of their beverage choices."
historymajor44, Jonathan Reynaga
4. One moment of silence for all the kids who had ‘real men’ as fathers. The battle with diaper rash must've been intense.
wyopapa25
The Evolution of Masculinity Constructs
Recent studies in the field of gender psychology reveal that traditional notions of masculinity are increasingly being challenged. Dr. Michael Kimmel, a leading sociologist, emphasizes that the rigid 'do's and don'ts' of masculinity have historically limited men's emotional expression and personal growth.
This evolution reflects a broader cultural shift towards a more inclusive understanding of gender identity, where men are encouraged to embrace vulnerability and emotional authenticity.
5. Just when we thought we’d heard it all
Once saw a woman on twitter say something like “if a man is too eager when the free bread gets to the table that’s sus” and I was just blown away by that on.
Soupjam_Stevens, Monica SilvestreReport
6. Two of the most hilarious takes on ‘Real Men Don’t’ that you’re gonna see in a while
1. My cousin was working at a chocolate shop and said a guy barged in asking for "chocolate for MEN." She never did figure out what he was talking about.2. My grandfather firmly believed real men didn't smile in photos. Smiling = gay in his mind (needless to say he was a homophobe).
liberaliar, Daniel Xavier
Moreover, the phrase 'real men don't' reflects an internalized belief system that discourages vulnerability. According to a study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, men who internalize these harmful stereotypes are less likely to seek help for mental health issues, perpetuating a cycle of suffering.
This reluctance can have severe consequences, as untreated mental health concerns can lead to more significant issues, such as substance abuse or relationship breakdowns.
7. It’s now a crime for Dads to show affection to their own kids
Real Men don't show their own children affection or accept affection from them, apparently.Edit: Holy s**t this blew up. On behalf of all dads out there, I’m sending all of you a virtual hug. Every kid deserves to know they’re loved.
Rahkyvah, Kampus Production
8. Ah, yes, because the angle at which men inspect their nails directly correlates with their masculinity.
I was told that really men never look at their nails with their palm down and would only ever look at their nails with their palm up and fingers curled.I gotta wonder how secure in your masculinity you've got to be to spend time even thinking about the right way to look at your nails.
totodododo,cottonbro studio
Research from the Journal of Social Issues shows that men who adhere to traditional masculine norms often experience higher rates of anxiety and depression. This disconnect between emotional health and societal expectations can lead to detrimental coping behaviors, including substance abuse and social isolation.
By redefining masculinity to include emotional expression and vulnerability, men can cultivate healthier relationships with themselves and others, leading to improved mental well-being.
9. If you’re a cat dad, the ‘Real Men Association’ are coming for you
"Real men don't have cats."Laughable
WhyAreYouSoSmelly, Yuliya kota
10. Screaming doesn’t make you manly; it just makes you annoying.
My friends once introduced me to this guy who was talking REALLY LOUDLY.I thought maybe he didn't realize how loud he was being so I said "you're a little loud."Dude said "real men talk loud. Chicks like that."I did not like that.
liberaliar, Helena Lopes
The Role of Emotion in Masculinity
Emotional avoidance is a common trait among men adhering to traditional masculine norms. A clinical psychologist notes that when men are taught to suppress their feelings, they miss out on developing emotional intelligence, which is crucial for healthy relationships.
Studies show that emotional intelligence can lead to better conflict resolution and enhanced empathy, skills that are often undervalued in traditional masculine frameworks.
11. Right, because the only thing on a man's mind when he eats a banana is... well, you get the point.
2_Fives
12. Real men wear pink. And look damn good doing it.
Wear pink. Pink is an awesome color - and you’re a little b***h if you think I’m not rocking an awesome color.
InventasBam, Anna Shvets
Challenging the Masculine Norms
Studies suggest that men are socialized from a young age to suppress their emotions, which can create barriers to seeking help. Dr. Ronald Levant, a psychologist known for his work in men's issues, highlights that the fear of being perceived as 'weak' often prevents men from engaging in supportive therapeutic practices.
Encouraging open conversations about emotional health can help dismantle these barriers, making it easier for men to seek help without fear of judgment.
13. So, a man can’t have a Luna Bar?
Not sure if it counts, but a young woman wouldn’t sell me a Luna Bar because it’s made for women. I said “No. It’s marketed to women. But I like this flavor.” She said “I can’t sell it to you. It has estrogen in it.” We had a frustrating back and forth before I finally convinced her that I was willing to take the risk and she sold it to me.
NikkoE82, Mike Mozart
14. So relationships are now a power struggle and not a partnership?
Real men don't love their women as much as or more than she loves him. He has to always love her less and be less emotional to hold more power in the relationship.
Retremeco, Emre Akyol
To counteract these harmful norms, experts recommend fostering environments that encourage emotional openness in boys from a young age. Implementing programs in schools that promote emotional literacy can help dismantle the stigma around expressing feelings and vulnerability.
Research indicates that children who learn to articulate their emotions are more likely to develop healthy relationships and possess better coping strategies later in life.
15. Real men don’t know what they’re missing then. If you know, you know.
OJRmk1
16. Tell that to all the male sports fans who cry when their team loses a huge game
"cry" literally everyone cries stfu.
BlueberrirrebeulB, Ivan Samkov
Practical strategies for redefining masculinity include promoting educational programs that focus on emotional intelligence and resilience. Workshops aimed at young boys can foster environments where expressing emotions is normalized and valued, reducing stigma associated with vulnerability.
Furthermore, mentorship programs that pair young men with emotionally intelligent male role models can provide guidance and support in navigating societal pressures.
17. Shoutout to all the dads who hug their sons and show them affection You’re the REAL MEN.
"Hug their sons."My dad hugged my brother for the first time when he was 18 and graduated high school. Dad was raised by his parents to not show outwardly love towards his children because that would "spoil" us. Our childhood was...odd.First and last time I saw my dad cry was when his bird hunting dog died. As he dug the hole to bury it in their backyard. The older generations were tougher, sure, but I know my dad would have benefited greatly from being hugged more as a child. That s**t gets passed down.
AWL_cow, Timur Weber
18. Apparently, if you order dessert, you’re not a real man. My triple chocolate cheesecake would disagree with you.
"Real men don't order dessert."
tall_pale_and_meh, Ron Lach
Men Defining Their Own Paths
Men are increasingly redefining what it means to be 'real' by embracing a broader spectrum of emotional expression and vulnerability. A growing body of literature highlights that men who reject traditional norms report higher levels of life satisfaction and better mental health outcomes.
This shift reflects a societal change where emotional authenticity is valued, encouraging men to engage in meaningful connections rather than adhering to outdated normative standards.
19. Ah, yes, because nothing says "manly" like paying full price
I was at Joanns and the man behind me in line was buying something for his wife and didn't have any coupons. I told him about the app and the website and offered to pull up my coupons for him to use.He laughed and said "Boys don't use coupons"So weird. It's free money. How fragile is your masculinity that you pay full price when you don't have to.
send_cat_pictures, Hobbies on a Budget
20. I couldn’t have said it any better
Haliwe
The Impact of Societal Expectations
Societal expectations around masculinity can create pressure that leads to unhealthy behaviors. A study published in the American Journal of Men's Health found that men who feel compelled to conform to traditional masculine norms are more likely to engage in risky behaviors, including aggression and substance abuse.
Understanding the psychological impact of these societal pressures can empower men to redefine their identities and embrace a more holistic view of masculinity.
21. Andrew Tate has somehow slipped into this discussion
Nixilaas
22. Drinking fruity cocktails = Not a ‘real man’
Drink fruity cocktails, dude, my cocktail has 5 spirits in it, it's way more alcohol than your 3.x% abv. beer and it tastes nice .
OstravaBro, Amar Preciado
Encouraging self-reflection and personal growth can also play a significant role in reshaping masculinity. Therapy and support groups specifically designed for men can help facilitate discussions about identity, vulnerability, and emotional health.
Research shows that men who participate in these supportive environments often experience significant improvements in their mental health and interpersonal relationships, demonstrating the power of community in redefining masculinity.
23. Imagine being forced to lift more weight than you can carry (which could possibly cause an injury) just to prove you’re a real man
Real men don't lift under (insert weight). Everyone has to start somewhere d**k head. I have been lifting for years but when I see a new kid try lifting crazy heavy with bad form I warn him it's a good way to get hurt. If they don't listen then that's on them.
Sodomy_Steve, Victor Freitas
24. “Sorry, Paul, but I'll take that raspberry cheesecake over your toxic masculinity any day.”
daneelthesane
It’s essential for men to engage in self-reflective practices that allow for personal growth and the exploration of identity beyond traditional norms. Techniques such as journaling, therapy, or support groups can provide safe spaces for men to unpack their feelings and experiences.
Research shows that engaging in these practices can significantly enhance emotional regulation and interpersonal relationships, leading to healthier life choices.
25. Who needs instructions when you can just wing it and end up with a half-built shelf?
Read the Instructions.
Delicious-Let8429, Wilson Hui
26. You’re gay if you cook, drink fruity cocktails or eat chocolate.
jaywayhon
Promoting Healthy Masculinity
Promoting healthy masculinity involves creating supportive communities where men can express their feelings without fear of judgment. Initiatives that focus on empathy, respect, and emotional literacy can help redefine what it means to be a man in today’s society.
Encouraging men to participate in discussions about emotional health and masculinity can foster a culture of openness and acceptance, ultimately benefiting mental health outcomes.
27. If you’re a ‘real man’, avoid the word ‘cute’…..signed: President Of The Real Men Association
A guy at work described something his daughter did as “cute” and then some douche told him that men aren’t supposed to call things cute.
bela-77, Josh Willink
28. Sunburns, stinky butts, and yelling. The ultimate ‘real man’ starter pack
WebBorn2622
In conclusion, real men embrace vulnerability because true strength lies in the courage to be yourself, flaws and all. Let's leave behind the absurd notion of 'real men don't' and embrace a world where men are free to be their authentic selves.
So go ahead, order that dessert, hug your kids, and live your truth—because that's what real men do.
What’s the stupidest 'real men don't' rule you've ever heard? We’d like to know in the comments.
29. Apparently, shoulder and back pain is a sign of manliness.
My former boss would die on the hill of "real men don't use rolling suitcases." He'd sooner throw out his shoulder carrying a heavy duffel bag than ever be caught dead rolling a suitcase through an airport.Edit: forgot to add he also thinks "neck pillows are fruity" and can't stand when men wear them around their neck on planes. Also, re: the comments about benefits of hiking backpacks, I don't think I ever saw him sport a two-strap. Fellas, is it gay to have even weight distribution on your shoulders?
alffiesta, Mikhail Nilov
30. Sacré bleu!
MathAndBake
Psychological Analysis
This conversation around masculinity highlights how societal expectations can lead to internal conflict. Many men feel pressure to conform to narrow definitions of masculinity, which can stifle emotional expression and create barriers to healthy relationships.
Addressing these societal norms through education and open discussion is essential for promoting mental wellness and fostering genuine connections among men.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In conclusion, the exploration of masculinity is crucial in understanding male behavior and mental health. Clinical psychologists emphasize the importance of redefining these constructs to foster emotional well-being among men.
By creating environments that encourage vulnerability and open dialogue, we can transform the narrative around masculinity into one that is inclusive and supportive.
Psychological Analysis
The conversation around masculinity is essential, as many men are grappling with conflicting messages about what it means to be 'real.' From a psychological standpoint, encouraging men to express their emotions openly is vital for their mental health and relational satisfaction.
Being able to redefine masculinity within a framework that includes emotional intelligence can pave the way for healthier interpersonal dynamics and personal fulfillment.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, the evolution of masculinity is a crucial conversation that can lead to healthier emotional lives for men. Psychological research consistently supports the idea that embracing vulnerability and emotional expression not only benefits individual men but also enhances their relationships and overall well-being.
As societal perceptions continue to shift, there's an opportunity to foster a more inclusive understanding of masculinity that values authenticity and emotional health.
