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Couples Therapists Reveal Relationship Red Flags That Could Signal The End Of A Relationship

Here's what they say you should look out for and how you can resolve them if possible.

Couples Therapists Reveal Relationship Red Flags That Could Signal The End Of A Relationship

Couples therapy can look like a last resort, but sometimes it is where the real problems finally show up. In this story, Reddit users asked therapists which relationship red flags tend to signal that a couple is already on shaky ground, and the answers were blunt.

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The discussion touched on contempt, control, cheating, constant fighting, and the kind of communication breakdowns that make a relationship feel impossible to repair. Some of the examples were painfully familiar, while others sounded like warning signs people ignore until it is too late.

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By the end, the thread turns into a messy checklist of what can sink a relationship fast. Read on.

Here's the Reddit post that opened our eyes:

Here's the Reddit post that opened our eyes:Gnerdy
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Contempt is defined as regarding another person as beneath you, i.e., looking down on your partner or not respecting them.

Contempt is defined as regarding another person as beneath you, i.e., looking down on your partner or not respecting them.threerottenbranches
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Apparently, it's a pillar of divorce.

Apparently, it's a pillar of divorce.belovetoday

That one warning sign came up fast.

So what does contempt look like in real-life couples?

So what does contempt look like in real-life couples?SnooPaintings9801

"Mean Girls" was a movie truly ahead of its time.

"Mean Girls" was a movie truly ahead of its time.HoseNeighbor

If your significant other bothers you so much that you can't stand the sound of them being alive, then it might be too late.

If your significant other bothers you so much that you can't stand the sound of them being alive, then it might be too late.Funky-Spunkmeyer

Couples who seem to think that their therapist is supposed to pick their side over their partner's.

Couples who seem to think that their therapist is supposed to pick their side over their partner's.Hyujikol

But I pay you to validate my feelings and dismiss theirs!

But I pay you to validate my feelings and dismiss theirs!International_Fan448

Just FYI, bad therapists do exist.

Just FYI, bad therapists do exist.circuit_brain

Apparently, it's indicative of controlling behavior when one person objects to or becomes alarmed by the therapist's request to see them individually for assessment.

Apparently, it's indicative of controlling behavior when one person objects to or becomes alarmed by the therapist's request to see them individually for assessment.the_friar

Edited for clarity:

Edited for clarity:the_friar

They're probably trying to hide something if they're that insistent on shaping the narrative.

They're probably trying to hide something if they're that insistent on shaping the narrative.CraazzyCatCommander

"Actually, it happened this way..."

"Actually, it happened this way..."Xhelius

This could also be a tactic to silence the other person if it's an abusive relationship.

This could also be a tactic to silence the other person if it's an abusive relationship.Destiny89becomesme

Another red flag showed up in the replies.

Like the AITA about skipping your partner’s family reunion over unresolved drama, should you prioritize unity or peace?

Good for this person's mother!

Good for this person's mother!penguinspie

If you use cheating to get back at your partner, then it is absolutely necessary to see a therapist...

If you use cheating to get back at your partner, then it is absolutely necessary to see a therapist...lightspeeed

... or a divorce lawyer.

... or a divorce lawyer.lightspeeed

It should be normalized and could save many couples from going through a messy divorce.

It should be normalized and could save many couples from going through a messy divorce.QueerTree

These best friends had better communication skills than most long-term couples. They love each other enough to go to counseling, and it saved their friendship.

These best friends had better communication skills than most long-term couples. They love each other enough to go to counseling, and it saved their friendship.lightspeeed

This itemized list of flare signals will help determine if the relationship will sink or sail.

This itemized list of flare signals will help determine if the relationship will sink or sail.crode080 Two friends holding hands during counseling, supportive conversation suggests relationship resilience.crode080 Checklist-style relationship warning signs graphic, couples therapy helps express feelings and needs.crode080 Partner pointing accusingly while other looks away, main character mindset in relationships.crode080

Some of the thread's examples were brutally specific.

Couples therapy will sometimes give you the courage to truly express your feelings, wants, and needs.

Couples therapy will sometimes give you the courage to truly express your feelings, wants, and needs.crode080

When one person thinks they're the main character in the relationship.

When one person thinks they're the main character in the relationship.ocelot_piss

This hits like a ton of bricks.

This hits like a ton of bricks.OnePoint21JizzaWatts

Changing the "essence" of your significant other. Also, go to therapy individually!

Changing the "essence" of your significant other. Also, go to therapy individually!ladyledylidy

Only seeing the bad parts.

Only seeing the bad parts.TiredMold

Part 2

Couple arguing with tense body language, deflecting blame instead of communicating calmly.TiredMold

Instead of owning your own faults, you deflect and list their flaws instead.

Instead of owning your own faults, you deflect and list their flaws instead.BeDazzledBootyHolez

Communicate with your significant other, please, and yelling is not communicating.

Communicate with your significant other, please, and yelling is not communicating.BeDazzledBootyHolez

This comment is basically Conflict Resolution 101.

This comment is basically Conflict Resolution 101.BeDazzledBootyHolez

Really good stuff.

Really good stuff.BeDazzledBootyHolez

It's difficult when one party wants to work on the relationship and the other knows it's too late.

It's difficult when one party wants to work on the relationship and the other knows it's too late.ChickenSoup4theRoll

When you argue too much, the relationship probably won't last.

When you argue too much, the relationship probably won't last.jollybumpkin

There's a reason why old married couples highlight compromise as a foundation of their relationship.

There's a reason why old married couples highlight compromise as a foundation of their relationship.captain_ohagen

A book won't answer all of your questions, and neither will Reddit. But it is very interesting to see what couples go through and how therapists perceive these relationship issues.

Do you know what can be learned from this discussion? Therapy should be made accessible for everyone, so couples can get ahead of problems before they side-swipe them.

Some relationships can still be saved, but not every warning sign is easy to ignore.

After contempt, read this AITA about suggesting therapy to resistant parents, and the fallout.

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