Gym Guy Finds Out The Girl He Asked Out Is Racist During The Date And Leaves Her In The Restaurant

A gym crush turned into a disaster date fast, and OP ended up walking out of the restaurant before the night was over. What started as a promising first move on Reddit's Today I F*cked Up sub quickly turned awkward once the conversation shifted from flirting to food, and then to something much uglier.

OP asked out a girl he had been eyeing at the gym, made reservations at a Korean barbecue spot, and thought the evening was off to a good start.

By the time the date was over, OP had a lot more to think about than just whether he should have stayed. Read on.

Below is the first part of OP's post:

Ankit1000 Ankit1000 Ankit1000

This story highlights the critical issue of implicit biases in dating, particularly how they can surface unexpectedly.

OP saw red flags, but he ignored them because he was hoping for "adult time" after the date.

Ankit1000

By the end of the date, they both ordered desserts.

The waitress then came over to give her a menu. After she left the table, the date told him, "My God, this place is a nightmare. All these useless immigrants come into the country, don't even work, and eat up our tax dollars. Are they even legal?"

OP's date said this loud enough that a nearby table of POC heard it and gave her dirty looks. OP's date noticed this and loudly added, "Same goes here for these (slur racist word for Pakistanis)."

After hearing this, OP was shocked. He's Indian, and when she noticed his expression, the date quickly said, "Oh no, I don't mean Latinos; they're fine. I LOVE Mexican food."

Ankit1000

OP's date thought he was Latino because of his lack of a stereotypical Indian-American accent.

After they got the dessert, OP excused himself to go to the bathroom. He then paid the bill, left a generous tip, and walked out of the restaurant without letting her know.

OP blocked her number, and he is not looking forward to seeing her again at the gym. OP doesn't know if he did the right thing or acted like a complete jerk for leaving her there without transport.

Ankit1000

Studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology show that individuals often overlook red flags when they're infatuated or attracted to someone.

This tendency may lead to an inability to recognize fundamental differences, such as values and beliefs, until a relationship has progressed.

Understanding these dynamics can help individuals make more informed choices in their dating lives.

Some things OP wanted to clarify:

Ankit1000 Ankit1000

Please don't ask us for the slur she used.

Ankit1000

In the realm of dating, authenticity emerges as a cornerstone for building genuine connections. This notion resonates deeply with the experience shared by the original poster, who found himself on a date that quickly unraveled when his date revealed her problematic views. The gym encounter, which initially seemed promising, took a turn when values clashed at the Korean barbecue restaurant.

OP's decision to pursue this connection was grounded in attraction and shared interests, but the unfolding conversation exposed a dissonance that could not be ignored. This illustrates the perils of superficial charm; when a date's true character is unveiled, it can lead to disillusionment. In OP's case, his choice to leave rather than compromise his values speaks volumes about the importance of aligning with partners who reflect one's own beliefs.

OP really dodged a racist bullet with that one.

Illustrious_Newt_313

OP says she's pretty, but not pretty enough to get away with this behavior (really, OP?!)

Ankit1000

People were quick to point this out to OP.

YourImaginaryFried

To foster healthier dating experiences, individuals should prioritize self-awareness and honesty about their values.

Engaging in self-reflection can clarify what one truly seeks in a partner, allowing for more authentic connections.

Additionally, open discussions about core values early in the dating process can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts later on.

This is similar to a date who fed a vegetarian meat and got left without paying.

To give OP the benefit of the doubt, dates are used to get to know someone better.

Donthurlemogurlx

The way someone treats servers, waiters, and janitors is a good baseline for their personality.

Sevreyn

She's only concerned about one kind of reflection: the one from the mirror.

radstarr

It was a horrible wake-up call for OP.

Ankit1000

Not even through a message in a bottle.

Admirable_One99989

Sheesh, hopefully that was how it happened.

_ell0lle_

Some people thought OP was being a selective ally because he was willing to overlook her racism in the hopes of having sex with her.

CuriouslyGruntled

Another person agreed.

silya1816

To OP's credit (not really sure here), he admitted this.

Ankit1000

Definitely this.

Throwawaydaughter555

ESH stands for "everyone sucks here" in Reddit-speak.

Hermiona1

This was a likely scenario.

tee_ran_mee_sue

A lot more people agreed that OP and his date both sucked in this situation.

zwergschnauzer

OP was stunned because this was his first experience with a racist person to his face.

Ankit1000

Talk about a bad first date, right? OP was condescending when he judged her for not being familiar with how Korean barbecues worked. She was flat-out rude and racist to the staff and other customers.

OP was definitely toeing the gray area because he was willing to overlook her behavior because she's pretty and might still have sex with him by the end of the night.

He only walked away when it got too personal for him. Anyway, those were our two cents. What did you think? Was OP the a**hole, or are Redditors right to call it ESH?

This ugly date turned into a full-on reality check by dessert.

Want more awkward date fallout? See why one AITA poster refused to let their date pick the restaurant.