Redditor Asks For Advice After His Girlfriend Says He Needs To Stop "Slacking Off" And Work Full-Time

When two people enter into a relationship, there is usually some level of expectation from one to the other and vice versa, whether that expectation is emotional, physical, financial, or all of the above.

For Reddit user u/moreenemys's girlfriend, the issue is the OP's working arrangements. The OP explained that he has a fairly well-paying position in a government job.

He doesn't mind the work, but he says it can be boring at times. In 2019, the OP reduced his working hours by 40%.

He states that although it seems drastic, he still earns more than enough money to comfortably cover all of his expenses. Since he began working part-time hours, the OP says he is much happier and healthier, with significantly less stress in his life.

However, the OP's girlfriend doesn't agree. The OP mentions that it was never an issue when they first met, but as time has passed and they have moved in together, it seems to bother her more.

She makes comments about the OP "slacking off" and insists that he should work full-time. She wants to save up for a house and doesn't see the point in the OP working part-time when he could potentially be earning more money for their future.

Now, the OP is asking the Reddit community for advice. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

Redditor asked for advice because his partner wants him to work full-time.

Reddit/moreenemys

He explained that he doesn't dislike his job, but it can be boring.

Reddit/moreenemys

The OP said that he reduced his working hours by 40% in 2019.

Reddit/moreenemys

Navigating Career Decisions

From a psychological perspective, career transitions can be intensely stressful, often tied to identity and self-worth. The concept of 'career identity' suggests that our jobs significantly contribute to our sense of self. Dr. Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist known for her work on motivation, states, "When individuals align their work with their personal values, they not only find greater satisfaction but also cultivate a more resilient sense of self" on her website mindsetworks.com. This Redditor's girlfriend's comments might stem from a desire for stability and fulfillment in their relationship, reflecting a common concern among partners about financial security and shared future goals.

He says he's much happier working fewer hours.

Reddit/moreenemys

But now the OP's girlfriend is insisting that he work full-time.

Reddit/moreenemys

She has goals and doesn't like the OP "slacking off."

Reddit/moreenemys

Moreover, conversations about work and ambition can often reveal deeper relational dynamics, including power imbalances and unmet expectations. Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, a renowned marriage therapist, states, "Open communication about career aspirations is essential for couples to navigate challenges effectively." By discussing not only his job situation but also their long-term goals, the Redditor can foster a supportive environment. For more insights, visit Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis's website.

So the OP turned to the Reddit community for advice.

Reddit/moreenemys

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/rcm_kem

That "doesn't sound great."

Reddit/SavageComic

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. Dr. Daniel Kahneman's research on decision-making reveals that individuals often struggle with identifying their true preferences amid societal pressures. This Redditor's reluctance to fully commit to full-time work could reflect a deeper need to evaluate his values and aspirations.

Encouraging self-reflection can help individuals assess not only what they want in their careers but also how their decisions align with their personal values. Journaling or seeking feedback from trusted friends can provide valuable insights into their motivations.

"Choosing to be safe but unhappy is one of the greatest traps people fall into."

Reddit/michaelmcmikey

It's not OP's job to fulfill her dreams.

Reddit/spicewoman

"Neither is wrong but definitely not compatible."

Reddit/Mountain-Instance921

"Don't give that up."

Reddit/hideousfox

"You're living the dream."

AnonOpinionss

"She resents having to work twice as much to earn the same amount."

Reddit/Snowybird60

"Clearly for her it's not just about the money."

Reddit/throwraway86420

"This is basic incompatibility."

Reddit/ObviousToe1636

"You two are just not compatible."

Reddit/miflordelicata

"She'll definitely break up with you."

Reddit/KurosakiOnepiece

"Seems like your future goals aren't aligned."

Reddit/RelativeExistence

"Sounds like a simple lack of compatibility."

Reddit/razzledazzle626

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should be working more hours to save more money for the future, or should his girlfriend back off and respect the OP's decision to work part-time?

It's a tricky situation, and both points of view are valid in different ways. Ultimately, however, the OP's health and happiness are the most important factors.

We would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates common relational dynamics where one partner's career choices heavily impact the other’s feelings of stability and future security. It’s essential for both partners to engage in open discussions about their aspirations and fears, fostering a stronger sense of connection and mutual support.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, navigating career decisions involves a blend of self-awareness, communication, and an understanding of personal values. The interplay between work and relationships is complex, and approaching these discussions with empathy and openness can lead to healthier outcomes. As highlighted in psychological studies, aligning career choices with personal values significantly enhances life satisfaction and relationship quality.