Man Anxious After Learning Bisexual Girlfriend Hooks Up With Roommate and Flirts With Other Women

When you're in a committed relationship, there are behaviors that should be avoided. For instance, flirting with other people and adding them on social media while already having a partner are generally considered inappropriate.

So it's no wonder why a guy on the Relationships subreddit is feeling anxious. Let's look at his story.

A 21-year-old guy sought advice from the online community. He shares that he's been dating his bisexual girlfriend for two months at the time of posting.

Her being bisexual and having preferred girls over boys in the past wouldn't be a problem. However, what makes the guy anxious is that this girl hooked up with her roommate.

The girlfriend clarified that even though they hooked up before, she considers her relationship with the roommate to be purely platonic. They've been best friends for years and explained that the whole thing just happened because they were both drunk.

But after witnessing his girlfriend flirting with other girls while she's drunk, adding them on social media, and excluding him from their conversations, the original poster became increasingly worried.

He's anxious, and his girlfriend is avoidant. So the guy asked his girlfriend about what happened, and she assured him that there was nothing to worry about.

After this conversation, she became quiet and distant with him. She has only hung out with her roommate ever since.

The OP is looking for advice on how to handle his anxiety over his girlfriend previously hooking up with her roommate.

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After what the OP has been witnessing between his girlfriend and her roommate, he became anxious about the relationship.

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The two girls were very close.

To add insult to injury, the girlfriend has been flirting with other girls and adding them on social media while she's drunk. She did this in front of her boyfriend.

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Navigating Relationship Insecurities

The Redditor's anxiety regarding his bisexual girlfriend's interactions with others is rooted in the common fear of abandonment and insecurity.

According to Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in relationships, feelings of jealousy often stem from deeper insecurities about self-worth and the stability of the relationship.

This emotional response is not uncommon, especially when partners face potential external threats to their bond.

He has become more anxious since witnessing the closeness between the girlfriend and her roommate and the drunk flirting.

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Being bisexual doesn't excuse the girlfriend's behavior.

She needs to stop flirting because she's already in a committed relationship.

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The OP now needs to re-evaluate this relationship. Maybe they're not on the same page.

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Studies show that individuals with high levels of anxiety about relationships often exhibit behaviors of hyper-vigilance, constantly monitoring their partner's actions.

This can lead to a cycle of anxiety and distrust, which can ultimately strain the relationship.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial for the Redditor as he navigates his feelings.

A couple of users are calling out those people who aren't trying to solve the OP's problem and are instead suggesting a three-person relationship.

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It's hard to trust a girlfriend who's flirty with other girls and her roommate.

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How much the OP can handle is the question. Is he okay with his girlfriend and her roommate walking a fine line in their relationship?

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Building Trust and Communication

To address feelings of insecurity, open communication with the girlfriend is essential.

Expressing feelings of anxiety and concern can help both partners understand each other better and foster a supportive environment.

Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships emphasizes that vulnerability can strengthen relationships when approached with honesty and compassion.

A user gets real: They're not compatible.

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People with anxious and avoidant attachment styles may find it challenging to have a harmonious relationship.

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Additionally, engaging in activities that build trust, such as spending quality time together and discussing boundaries, can reinforce the relationship's foundation.

Dr. Sue Johnson, a prominent figure in attachment theory, suggests that establishing secure attachments can significantly reduce anxiety in relationships.

By nurturing the connection, both partners can feel more secure and valued.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates the complexities of navigating emotions in relationships, particularly when insecurities arise.

It's vital for individuals to communicate openly and work towards building trust to alleviate feelings of anxiety.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the psychological factors behind relationship insecurities can help individuals navigate their feelings effectively.

As noted by the American Psychological Association, fostering open communication and trust is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.