New Mom Forces Rental Agreement To Halt Invasive In-Laws From Walking In On Her Breastfeeding, Asks If They Are A-Hole For It
"I was usually topless in the lounge, either feeding or had just fed our baby… so quite vulnerable."
A 25-year-old mom refused to keep playing nice after her boyfriend’s parents treated her breastfeeding like it was optional privacy. What started as a “helping out” living arrangement turned into daily moments where Andrew and Steph walked in like the rules were just suggestions.
OP and Jake have been sharing his parents’ split-house setup for two years, with “Nan’s” side offered so they could save for a place of their own. But after the baby arrived, the door etiquette vanished, and OP kept getting caught topless while feeding. She asked them to knock, locked the door, and still ended up dealing with Andrew’s attitude, including him getting mad when she pushed for a tenancy agreement.
Now OP is stuck wondering if she’s the asshole for forcing a contract to stop invasive in-laws from barging in.
OP (25F) has been living with her boyfriend, Jake (29M), and his parents, Steph (63) and Andrew (67), for the past two years.
RedditIt was a divided house with two of everything, built for Jake's grandmother's privacy.
RedditThe new mother’s decision to protect her breastfeeding space highlights the crucial need for personal space and boundaries in parenting. Research indicates that new parents often experience heightened stress, which can be exacerbated by intrusive family members.
Maintaining a sense of autonomy is vital for parental well-being, especially in the early stages of parenthood.
OP was pregnant in May 2023, and Jake's parents offered "Nan's" side of the house to help them save for a home.
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Andrew started nitpicking actions in "their side of the house" and banned them from using the front door, citing privacy concerns.
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It all goes sideways after Andrew starts nitpicking on Jake’s side and then bans OP from using the front door, “for privacy,” like the irony didn’t matter.
This suggests that it’s essential for parents to communicate their needs effectively to family members.
Research in family psychology supports the notion that boundaries can help preserve emotional health during the challenging transition into parenthood.
After the baby arrived, Steph and Andrew walked in without knocking, catching her in a vulnerable moment while feeding or just finishing.
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Steph found her hair-dyeing moment interrupted by Andrew, who disregarded her privacy, claiming it didn't matter if she was feeding the baby.
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In this case, the mother’s need for privacy is a legitimate response to the vulnerability of breastfeeding.
OP repeatedly asked Jake and Steph to knock before entering due to her discomfort with being seen topless. Steph managed the communication with Andrew.
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She locked the door for privacy because she is often topless during the day. Jake informed his parents when he found out.
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After the baby is born, Steph and Andrew walk in without knocking, and OP is left trying to cover up mid-feed while they act like it’s no big deal.
This drama with Steph and Andrew stepping into her breastfeeding space is similar to a roommate who kept paying late, and the other tenant asked for extra money.
Engaging in open conversations about personal space can help families navigate these challenges.
Andrew got angry when she agreed to a tenancy agreement. Jake called her an asshole, saying they didn't need one.
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She supports a tenancy agreement to establish boundaries but wonders if she's wrong for wanting them.
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In the end, sometimes the key to domestic peace isn't just locking doors, but setting legal boundaries. Here's to lease agreements—because nothing says 'family' like a document that keeps your in-laws at bay while you're in your bra!
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Jake told his parents about the locked door to prevent Andrew's reaction. He supports her privacy but opposes a tenancy agreement.
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Andrew has been making negative remarks about having a baby in the house, expressing disapproval of grandchildren.
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They're paying subsidized rent, which helps them save for a house while allowing Steph and Andrew to delay selling theirs.
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Andrew has never been physically aggressive or violent, and he would never harm a woman or child.
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When she says "tantrum," it's more like how a three-year-old reacts in a store—annoying, but not serious.
Scroll down to see what people had to say...
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Tenancy agreement: smart move. Boyfriend's tattling to parents? Not so much. Dad's thin-skinned antics? Comedy gold.
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Renters' rights: 1, Surprise visits: 0. Looks like they're learning the hard way about landlord etiquette.
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Time for her and her boyfriend to find a place where the landlords aren't also his parents.
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Privacy: the unsung hero of harmonious living arrangements. Time for hubby to join Team Knock-Before-Enter.
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Boyfriend needs a door-opening etiquette refresher. Knock, knock, who's there? Privacy, hopefully.
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Sounds like Dad needs a crash course in toddler tantrums!
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The tension spikes when OP catches them interrupting her privacy again, and Andrew’s response is basically that breastfeeding time is fair game.
That’s when the tenancy agreement becomes the breaking point, because Andrew gets furious and Jake calls OP an asshole for it.
The challenges of new parenthood are exacerbated when living arrangements blur the lines of personal space and family dynamics. The article illustrates how the new mother’s need for privacy while breastfeeding is not merely a personal preference but a crucial aspect of her well-being and comfort.
Establishing these boundaries is essential not only for the mother's mental health but also for maintaining a harmonious family environment. Open communication about such needs, as demonstrated by the mother's decision to enforce a rental agreement, can ultimately contribute to a more respectful and understanding household.
The family dinner did not end well, and OP might be happier once she’s not sharing a house with people who can’t follow “knock first.”
Want a different kind of boundary fight, see how a roommate demanded higher rent for a bigger room.