Woman Angry As Manager's Gaslighting And Criticism Of Female Colleagues Goes Unpunished, Leading to Promotion Of Only Male Employees

"He was trying to accuse me of not understanding how to perform my basic job functions and kept sending me messages on our Slack documenting these claims."

Sophia

Published in Interesting
9 Oct 2023

Woman Angry As Manager's Gaslighting And Criticism Of Female Colleagues Goes Unpunished, Leading to Promotion Of Only Male Employees

In the competitive realm of corporate America, OP, a young woman in her 20s, found herself entangled in a disheartening saga of workplace sexism and manipulation. Despite her dedication and ambition, her manager, an absentee figure, consistently stifled her career growth.

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Promises of involvement in high-level projects remained empty, leaving OP's professional aspirations in limbo.

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A pivotal moment arose when her boss, in a shocking display of unprofessionalism, began berating a female coworker, criticizing her competence. Courageously, OP stood her ground, expressing her support for the older colleague and highlighting her value to the team.

This bold move, however, only escalated the tension.

In a disturbing turn, the boss retaliated by subjecting OP to an unjust performance plan. The accusations were baseless, focusing on trivialities like minor lateness and subjective task interpretations.

Feeling gaslit and cornered, OP decided to report the situation to her team lead, hoping for a fair resolution. Yet, justice remained elusive, as her boss faced no repercussions.

Adding insult to injury, during the subsequent round of promotions, OP witnessed a glaring disparity.

Her boss not only evaded consequences but also displayed favoritism, promoting exclusively male colleagues. This blatant gender bias left OP questioning her fight against the toxic workplace culture.

Just take a look at her original post...

OP's manager has been absent for over a year, meeting briefly once a week on Zoom but failing to involve her in higher-level projects, causing career stagnation, especially for a young female professional in her 20s.

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In a meeting, the manager complained about an older female coworker becoming their new boss, but when the narrator supported the coworker, the manager did not respond.

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The boss lost his cool in a meeting, leading to a sudden vacation—a reminder that even the top dog needs a time-out once in a while.

Understanding Gaslighting in the Workplace

This scenario highlights the devastating effects of gaslighting, particularly in professional settings.

Research indicates that gaslighting can lead to significant psychological distress, including anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-esteem.

Studies show that prolonged exposure to gaslighting behaviors can create a toxic work environment that negatively impacts employee well-being.

Unfairly, he subjected OP to an unjustified performance plan, which included proven false claims such as minor tardiness and vague task instructions.

Facing baseless accusations and gaslighting from her boss, OP had to involve her team lead to affirm her competence and prevent the boss from creating a false narrative.

Suspicion arose when the boss only cited "performance issues" after the team lead was informed, fueling doubts about the plan's retaliatory nature.

It's essential to recognize that gaslighting behaviors often stem from power imbalances, where individuals in authority seek to manipulate and control their subordinates.

According to research from the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, gaslighting undermines an individual’s confidence and can lead to severe emotional consequences.

Addressing these behaviors is crucial for restoring a healthy workplace culture.

He often belittles other department team leads, implying they are clueless and require daily reminders, showing a condescending attitude toward colleagues.

Despite raising concerns in his performance review, he was promoted to a new team, choosing only male colleagues, prompting OP to question the effectiveness of her report.

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

Morally, the right call is to speak up, but realistically, he's another team's issue now. Keep that evidence folder as a backstage pass for the HR drama show, just in case.

Promoting Psychological Safety

To combat gaslighting in the workplace, organizations must prioritize psychological safety and open communication.

Research indicates that when employees feel safe to express their concerns, it fosters a culture of trust and collaboration.

Implementing training on recognizing and addressing toxic behaviors can empower employees and leaders alike.

HR's loyalty: legality and company interests. Justice arrived when the manager made embezzlement a team sport, and a coworker blew the whistle.

They came here to say it, probably with fewer words and just as effectively.

Sounds like HR was MIA when needed the most! Leaving was tough, but escaping the circus without clowns is a win.

Practical solutions could include establishing clear reporting channels for employees to voice their concerns about gaslighting or other toxic behaviors.

Creating anonymous feedback mechanisms can also encourage open dialogue and promote accountability within the organization.

Ultimately, addressing gaslighting proactively can enhance employee well-being and create a healthier workplace environment.

Her daughter's old job was a toxic relationship; now she's thriving. Maybe it's time for a job breakup and a fresh start!

Dealing with a terrible boss without proof can feel like a solo mission on Mount Impossible. It's time for her to bounce to a place that appreciates her talents and leave the circus behind!

In her experience, veterans often escape blame, no matter how obvious. Changing jobs when the boss is an AH is like switching channels to a better show—a wise move!

Reporting these know-it-alls to HR is like serving up some well-deserved humble pie. Hopefully, they'll get a taste of their own medicine soon.

Balancing career and principles is like a seesaw, and reporting might not make her the AH, but dealing with the chain of command's problem-blindness can feel like a tilt at windmills.

Documenting their behavior is like building a fortress to protect her career from unprofessional antics. Screenshots are her shield!

If he's handing out performance plans like candy without addressing issues first, he's giving HR a crash course in retaliation lawsuits.

In HR's world, it's all about avoiding costly lawsuits, and at-will employment can turn anyone into a replaceable puzzle piece.

Her coworker's compass is all over the place, but she shouldn't let it steer her away from addressing a genuinely hostile work environment.

Playing the "I'm a woman" card doesn't help in this workplace situation. Let's stick to the real issues and leave the gender dynamics out of the game.

Reporting is like adding a stain to her boss's record, and it might come in handy if others do the same in the future.

Not the AH, but reporting to HR could be like whispering in a hurricane—might not change much, but worth a shot in the storm.

Finding career growth might mean seeking a new company, like upgrading to a better-fitting pair of shoes.

Anonymous reports are like office ghosts; time to light up the legal path and make HR see the gender discrimination issues.

Perhaps a management forum would better suit her needs.

"This is a sexist workplace environment issue."

But legally, it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with the information provided.

HR can be like a black hole, so consider switching teams or finding a brighter career galaxy.

Their judgment is a mystery, but anonymity can be the secret ingredient for stirring the pot without getting burned.

As we unravel the layers of this narrative, one question emerges: should OP have let the injustices slide or continued her fight for a fair and equal workplace?

Have you experienced a similar situation before?

Comment below, tell us your story, or share this for all your family and friends to see!

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates the damaging effects of gaslighting in the workplace, a manipulation tactic that can severely impact employee morale and performance.
It's crucial for organizations to create an environment where employees feel safe to express their concerns and report such behaviors.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, addressing gaslighting and promoting psychological safety is vital for fostering a healthy work environment.

By prioritizing open communication and accountability, organizations can enhance employee well-being and morale.

OP's manager has been absent for over a year, meeting briefly once a week on Zoom but failing to involve her in higher-level projects, causing career stagnation, especially for a young female professional in her 20s.

In a meeting, the manager complained about an older female coworker becoming their new boss, but when the narrator supported the coworker, the manager did not respond.

The boss lost his cool in a meeting, leading to a sudden vacation—a reminder that even the top dog needs a time-out once in a while.

Understanding Gaslighting in the Workplace

Unfairly, he subjected OP to an unjustified performance plan, which included proven false claims such as minor tardiness and vague task instructions.

Facing baseless accusations and gaslighting from her boss, OP had to involve her team lead to affirm her competence and prevent the boss from creating a false narrative.

Suspicion arose when the boss only cited "performance issues" after the team lead was informed, fueling doubts about the plan's retaliatory nature.

He often belittles other department team leads, implying they are clueless and require daily reminders, showing a condescending attitude toward colleagues.

Despite raising concerns in his performance review, he was promoted to a new team, choosing only male colleagues, prompting OP to question the effectiveness of her report.

Morally, the right call is to speak up, but realistically, he's another team's issue now. Keep that evidence folder as a backstage pass for the HR drama show, just in case.

Promoting Psychological Safety

HR's loyalty: legality and company interests. Justice arrived when the manager made embezzlement a team sport, and a coworker blew the whistle.

They came here to say it, probably with fewer words and just as effectively.

Sounds like HR was MIA when needed the most! Leaving was tough, but escaping the circus without clowns is a win.

Her daughter's old job was a toxic relationship; now she's thriving. Maybe it's time for a job breakup and a fresh start!

Dealing with a terrible boss without proof can feel like a solo mission on Mount Impossible. It's time for her to bounce to a place that appreciates her talents and leave the circus behind!

In her experience, veterans often escape blame, no matter how obvious. Changing jobs when the boss is an AH is like switching channels to a better show—a wise move!

Reporting these know-it-alls to HR is like serving up some well-deserved humble pie. Hopefully, they'll get a taste of their own medicine soon.

Balancing career and principles is like a seesaw, and reporting might not make her the AH, but dealing with the chain of command's problem-blindness can feel like a tilt at windmills.

Documenting their behavior is like building a fortress to protect her career from unprofessional antics. Screenshots are her shield!

If he's handing out performance plans like candy without addressing issues first, he's giving HR a crash course in retaliation lawsuits.

In HR's world, it's all about avoiding costly lawsuits, and at-will employment can turn anyone into a replaceable puzzle piece.

Her coworker's compass is all over the place, but she shouldn't let it steer her away from addressing a genuinely hostile work environment.

Playing the "I'm a woman" card doesn't help in this workplace situation. Let's stick to the real issues and leave the gender dynamics out of the game.

Reporting is like adding a stain to her boss's record, and it might come in handy if others do the same in the future.

Not the AH, but reporting to HR could be like whispering in a hurricane—might not change much, but worth a shot in the storm.

Finding career growth might mean seeking a new company, like upgrading to a better-fitting pair of shoes.

Anonymous reports are like office ghosts; time to light up the legal path and make HR see the gender discrimination issues.

Perhaps a management forum would better suit her needs.

"This is a sexist workplace environment issue."

But legally, it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with the information provided.

HR can be like a black hole, so consider switching teams or finding a brighter career galaxy.

Their judgment is a mystery, but anonymity can be the secret ingredient for stirring the pot without getting burned.

Psychological Analysis

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

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