Woman Angry As Manager's Gaslighting And Criticism Of Female Colleagues Goes Unpunished, Leading to Promotion Of Only Male Employees

"He was trying to accuse me of not understanding how to perform my basic job functions and kept sending me messages on our Slack documenting these claims."

Sophia

Published in Interesting
9 Oct 2023

Woman Angry As Manager's Gaslighting And Criticism Of Female Colleagues Goes Unpunished, Leading to Promotion Of Only Male Employees

A 28-year-old woman watched her manager disappear for over a year, then show up just enough to steer her away from higher-level projects. It sounded like “busy leadership” until the meetings started to feel like a slow-motion takedown, with her career stuck while everyone else moved on.

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The twist was how aggressively he handled women at work. In one meeting he criticized an older female coworker for becoming their new boss, and when OP backed her, he went silent. Later, he blew up during a meeting, vanished on a sudden vacation, and somehow returned with an unjustified performance plan packed with false claims about minor tardiness and vague task instructions.

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Now OP is trying to figure out whether the promotion he got, and the fact he picked only male employees, is just “how things work,” or retaliation dressed up as leadership.

OP's manager has been absent for over a year, meeting briefly once a week on Zoom but failing to involve her in higher-level projects, causing career stagnation, especially for a young female professional in her 20s.

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In a meeting, the manager complained about an older female coworker becoming their new boss, but when the narrator supported the coworker, the manager did not respond.

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The boss lost his cool in a meeting, leading to a sudden vacation—a reminder that even the top dog needs a time-out once in a while.

This scenario highlights the devastating effects of gaslighting, particularly in professional settings.

Unfairly, he subjected OP to an unjustified performance plan, which included proven false claims such as minor tardiness and vague task instructions.

Facing baseless accusations and gaslighting from her boss, OP had to involve her team lead to affirm her competence and prevent the boss from creating a false narrative.

Suspicion arose when the boss only cited "performance issues" after the team lead was informed, fueling doubts about the plan's retaliatory nature.

When OP’s manager only showed up briefly on Zoom each week but still managed to block her from bigger projects, the “absence” started to look like a strategy.

It's essential to recognize that gaslighting behaviors often stem from power imbalances, where individuals in authority seek to manipulate and control their subordinates.

Addressing these behaviors is crucial for restoring a healthy workplace culture.

He often belittles other department team leads, implying they are clueless and require daily reminders, showing a condescending attitude toward colleagues.

Despite raising concerns in his performance review, he was promoted to a new team, choosing only male colleagues, prompting OP to question the effectiveness of her report.

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

Morally, the right call is to speak up, but realistically, he's another team's issue now. Keep that evidence folder as a backstage pass for the HR drama show, just in case.

Promoting Psychological Safety

To combat gaslighting in the workplace, organizations must prioritize psychological safety and open communication.

HR's loyalty: legality and company interests. Justice arrived when the manager made embezzlement a team sport, and a coworker blew the whistle.

They came here to say it, probably with fewer words and just as effectively.

Sounds like HR was MIA when needed the most! Leaving was tough, but escaping the circus without clowns is a win.

The moment he complained about the older female coworker becoming boss, then ignored OP after she supported her, you could feel the power shift in the room.

This also echoes the young parent asking their unsympathetic boss for better hours and schedule changes.

Creating anonymous feedback mechanisms can also encourage open dialogue and promote accountability within the organization.

Ultimately, addressing gaslighting proactively can enhance employee well-being and create a healthier workplace environment.

Her daughter's old job was a toxic relationship; now she's thriving. Maybe it's time for a job breakup and a fresh start!

Dealing with a terrible boss without proof can feel like a solo mission on Mount Impossible. It's time for her to bounce to a place that appreciates her talents and leave the circus behind!

In her experience, veterans often escape blame, no matter how obvious. Changing jobs when the boss is an AH is like switching channels to a better show—a wise move!

Reporting these know-it-alls to HR is like serving up some well-deserved humble pie. Hopefully, they'll get a taste of their own medicine soon.

Balancing career and principles is like a seesaw, and reporting might not make her the AH, but dealing with the chain of command's problem-blindness can feel like a tilt at windmills.

Documenting their behavior is like building a fortress to protect her career from unprofessional antics. Screenshots are her shield!

If he's handing out performance plans like candy without addressing issues first, he's giving HR a crash course in retaliation lawsuits.

In HR's world, it's all about avoiding costly lawsuits, and at-will employment can turn anyone into a replaceable puzzle piece.

Her coworker's compass is all over the place, but she shouldn't let it steer her away from addressing a genuinely hostile work environment.

Playing the "I'm a woman" card doesn't help in this workplace situation. Let's stick to the real issues and leave the gender dynamics out of the game.

Reporting is like adding a stain to her boss's record, and it might come in handy if others do the same in the future.

Not the AH, but reporting to HR could be like whispering in a hurricane—might not change much, but worth a shot in the storm.

Finding career growth might mean seeking a new company, like upgrading to a better-fitting pair of shoes.

Anonymous reports are like office ghosts; time to light up the legal path and make HR see the gender discrimination issues.

Perhaps a management forum would better suit her needs.

"This is a sexist workplace environment issue."

But legally, it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with the information provided.

HR can be like a black hole, so consider switching teams or finding a brighter career galaxy.

Their judgment is a mystery, but anonymity can be the secret ingredient for stirring the pot without getting burned.

After the baseless performance plan rolled in, OP had to loop in her team lead just to keep her competence from being rewritten as “performance issues.”

And once the manager got promoted to a new team, choosing only male employees, OP’s performance review stopped feeling like paperwork and started feeling like receipts.

As we unravel the layers of this narrative, one question emerges: should OP have let the injustices slide or continued her fight for a fair and equal workplace?

Have you experienced a similar situation before?

Comment below, tell us your story, or share this for all your family and friends to see!

The alarming situation described highlights the urgent need for organizations to confront gaslighting and cultivate psychological safety within the workplace. The failure of the manager to support female colleagues not only stifles their professional growth but also perpetuates a toxic culture that prioritizes male employees. By neglecting to address these issues, the company undermines its commitment to inclusivity and equality.

Implementing open communication channels and holding individuals accountable for their behavior are crucial steps toward improving employee morale and well-being. Without these measures, the cycle of manipulation and discrimination will likely continue, leaving dedicated individuals like OP feeling undervalued and frustrated.

He might be out of OP’s department now, but the promotion still smells like payback.

Want to know if she was wrong to call out unprofessional behavior in meetings? Read this employee’s confrontation over a colleague’s unprofessional team-meeting actions.

Woman Angry As Manager's Gaslighting And Criticism Of Female Colleagues Goes Unpunished, Leading to Promotion Of Only Male Employees

Sophia

OP's manager has been absent for over a year, meeting briefly once a week on Zoom but failing to involve her in higher-level projects, causing career stagnation, especially for a young female professional in her 20s.

In a meeting, the manager complained about an older female coworker becoming their new boss, but when the narrator supported the coworker, the manager did not respond.

The boss lost his cool in a meeting, leading to a sudden vacation—a reminder that even the top dog needs a time-out once in a while.

Unfairly, he subjected OP to an unjustified performance plan, which included proven false claims such as minor tardiness and vague task instructions.

Facing baseless accusations and gaslighting from her boss, OP had to involve her team lead to affirm her competence and prevent the boss from creating a false narrative.

Suspicion arose when the boss only cited "performance issues" after the team lead was informed, fueling doubts about the plan's retaliatory nature.

He often belittles other department team leads, implying they are clueless and require daily reminders, showing a condescending attitude toward colleagues.

Despite raising concerns in his performance review, he was promoted to a new team, choosing only male colleagues, prompting OP to question the effectiveness of her report.

Morally, the right call is to speak up, but realistically, he's another team's issue now. Keep that evidence folder as a backstage pass for the HR drama show, just in case.

Promoting Psychological Safety

HR's loyalty: legality and company interests. Justice arrived when the manager made embezzlement a team sport, and a coworker blew the whistle.

They came here to say it, probably with fewer words and just as effectively.

Sounds like HR was MIA when needed the most! Leaving was tough, but escaping the circus without clowns is a win.

Her daughter's old job was a toxic relationship; now she's thriving. Maybe it's time for a job breakup and a fresh start!

Dealing with a terrible boss without proof can feel like a solo mission on Mount Impossible. It's time for her to bounce to a place that appreciates her talents and leave the circus behind!

In her experience, veterans often escape blame, no matter how obvious. Changing jobs when the boss is an AH is like switching channels to a better show—a wise move!

Reporting these know-it-alls to HR is like serving up some well-deserved humble pie. Hopefully, they'll get a taste of their own medicine soon.

Balancing career and principles is like a seesaw, and reporting might not make her the AH, but dealing with the chain of command's problem-blindness can feel like a tilt at windmills.

Documenting their behavior is like building a fortress to protect her career from unprofessional antics. Screenshots are her shield!

If he's handing out performance plans like candy without addressing issues first, he's giving HR a crash course in retaliation lawsuits.

In HR's world, it's all about avoiding costly lawsuits, and at-will employment can turn anyone into a replaceable puzzle piece.

Her coworker's compass is all over the place, but she shouldn't let it steer her away from addressing a genuinely hostile work environment.

Playing the "I'm a woman" card doesn't help in this workplace situation. Let's stick to the real issues and leave the gender dynamics out of the game.

Reporting is like adding a stain to her boss's record, and it might come in handy if others do the same in the future.

Not the AH, but reporting to HR could be like whispering in a hurricane—might not change much, but worth a shot in the storm.

Finding career growth might mean seeking a new company, like upgrading to a better-fitting pair of shoes.

Anonymous reports are like office ghosts; time to light up the legal path and make HR see the gender discrimination issues.

Perhaps a management forum would better suit her needs.

"This is a sexist workplace environment issue."

But legally, it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with the information provided.

HR can be like a black hole, so consider switching teams or finding a brighter career galaxy.

Their judgment is a mystery, but anonymity can be the secret ingredient for stirring the pot without getting burned.

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