Scientists think they found a 2,000-year-old sex toy in ancient ruins

Archaeologists in Northern England just pulled a wooden mystery out of the past, and it looks a lot like a 2,000-year-old sex toy.

The object was found near Vindolanda, the Roman fort on Hadrian’s Wall, and it was first dug up more than twenty years ago. Back then, people assumed it was something practical, like a tool for darning, because, sure, that’s the kind of thing you expect to find in an old fort. But fresh analysis is pointing the conversation in a much more intimate direction, and now the debate is all about what it was really for.

With three competing theories and a length of about 16 cm, this find from Roman Britain has everyone side-eyeing their assumptions about “private” life in Ancient Rome.

The whole story started with that original “darning tool” guess, made long before anyone considered the more suggestive possibilities at Vindolanda.

Archaeologists have made a fascinating discovery in Northern England, unearthing a wooden object that closely resembles a phallus, believed to date back 2,000 years to the time of Ancient Rome. Found near Vindolanda, a Roman fortification on Hadrian's Wall, this artifact challenges our understanding of Roman daily life and cultural practices.

Now that the artifact is being re-examined, the 16 cm measurement is making people wonder what it might have looked like before centuries of natural shrinkage.

Initially discovered over two decades ago, the object was first thought to be a tool used for darning. However, recent analysis suggests it may have served a more intimate purpose. Measuring 16 cm in length, although possibly larger before experiencing natural shrinkage over time, the artifact's precise function remains a subject of speculation among researchers.

And if you thought archaeology was intense, researchers debate unexplained tremors near a classified nuclear weapons testing facility.

The team’s three theories, from clitoral stimulation to a medicine-crushing pestle, are basically turning this fort find into a choose-your-own-adventure.

The research team has proposed three main theories regarding its use: as a functional dildo, possibly for clitoral stimulation rather than penetration; as a pestle for crushing medicine; or as a talisman placed at building entrances to bring good fortune to businesses.

And the moment the talisman idea comes up, the debate shifts from “what it did” to “why it was there,” right at the entrance to bring good fortune.

This discovery not only adds to our knowledge of Roman artifacts but also opens up discussions about the private lives of those who lived during the Roman Empire. The presence of such an object, if indeed used as a sex toy, suggests a level of openness and acceptance of sexuality in Roman society that contrasts with the views of some modern societies.

As the debate continues, this intriguing find from Vindolanda offers a rare glimpse into the complexities of Roman life, reminding us that the past, in many ways, may not have been so different from our own.

If this really was a Roman sex toy, then the past might be a lot more familiar than anyone wants to admit.

For a totally different kind of “tolerance,” see the debate over tolyamorous boundaries: love versus tolerance in tolyamory.