College Roommate Tries To Hijack Paid Laundry Pickup And Gets Called Out For Stealing
A paid laundry plan turns into a roommate battle over boundaries.
College living always tests how well people handle shared spaces and shared costs. And sadly, these roommates landed on opposite sides of what “fair” actually means.
The OP of this story (a college student) explained that she recently upgraded her school laundry plan from a once-a-week service to twice a week, bumping her bill to about $1400 for the semester.
That upgrade was meant to help her keep up with her sports schedule, since joining a sport means more dirty clothes to wash.
Unknown to OP, her roommate decided the addition pickup belonged to both of them. Her plan was to wait until OP was out, and then hand her own laundry bag to the laundry staff when they came for the second pickup of the week.
To OP’s surprise, her roommate showed no remorse for her actions. This prompted OP to charge her $23 for the stolen pickup.
The tension didn’t come from the laundry alone. It came from the pattern behind it. This wasn’t the first time the roommate tried to outsmart her.
OP’s family had already covered the cost of a fan for this same roommate last semester, and she never paid back the money despite their agreement. Now she wanted to turn a $1400 service into her own convenience without offering to contribute.
There’s a lot to unpack in how this played out, so go through the screenshots and see the full exchange for yourself.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comA bit of background
Reddit.comOP’s roommate stole one of her pickups opportunities. Consequently, OP asked her to pay $23 for it
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Dr. Lawrence Cohen, a child psychologist specializing in peer relationships, notes that boundaries are essential for healthy cohabitation, especially among college students. He explains that many conflicts arise from unclear expectations and unspoken rules regarding shared resources.
Setting clear boundaries can foster mutual respect and understanding. For example, students should have open discussions about household chores and shared costs to prevent future disputes. Cohen emphasizes that these conversations can be facilitated through regular house meetings, which allow for transparent communication and conflict resolution.
Dr. Ellyn Satter, a dietitian and family nutrition expert, highlights the importance of communal cooking and shared meals as a means to strengthen roommate relationships. She argues that breaking bread together can create a sense of community and shared responsibility.
Encouraging group dinners can provide opportunities for roommates to bond and discuss any issues in a relaxed setting. This practice not only improves interpersonal relationships but also teaches valuable life skills, such as teamwork and cooperation.
OP’s roommate argued as if she’s entitled to the pickups she obviously didn’t pay for
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However, OP stood her ground
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We gathered some interesting reactions from the Reddit community
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Financial experts like Farnoosh Torabi suggest that students should approach shared expenses with a well-defined plan. She recommends creating a detailed budget that outlines who pays for what, especially regarding shared amenities like laundry services.
This proactive approach can mitigate misunderstandings and tensions. Torabi emphasizes that using apps for expense tracking can also help roommates stay accountable and transparent about their financial commitments, reducing the chances of accusations or feelings of unfairness.
“Tell her if she does not pay or if they she does it again you're reporting her for the ‘no stealing’ clause of your housing agreement.”
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“NTA…If she doesn't repay you, file a complaint with Res Life.”
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“Honestly you should just report it to the laundry people and to housing.”
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Dr. Patricia McConnell, an animal behaviorist, believes that roommate conflicts often mirror issues seen in animal social structures. She points out that just as animals establish hierarchies and territories, humans must define roles and boundaries in their living situations.
McConnell advises that understanding each person's perspective can lead to more harmonious living arrangements. She suggests regular check-ins to discuss grievances and encourage empathy, allowing roommates to express their needs and feelings in a safe environment, ultimately improving their cohabitation experience.
“NTA. It's not an ‘extra’ pickup, it's a second one you need to keep up with your laundry.”
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“NTA. I assume there would be consequences for stealing your pick up if you turned her in.”
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“Even if there was an unused excess, that doesn’t mean it’s available for her to use.”
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Psychologists recommend establishing ground rules early in shared living situations. A relationship expert notes that discussing boundaries surrounding shared expenses, chores, and personal spaces can prevent future conflicts. Creating a roommate agreement can be very beneficial.
This written agreement should detail responsibilities and expectations, providing a reference point for all parties. Regularly revisiting this agreement can also help roommates adjust to changing circumstances, ensuring that everyone’s needs are met.
“NTA - Be clear if she does it again you will report her for breaking dorm rules.”
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“The laundry plan cost sooo much and she think she can just leech off you??”
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“I can’t comprehend the selfishness and entitlement of your roommate.”
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Conflict resolution strategies can play a crucial role in maintaining harmony among college roommates. According to Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, effective communication is key.
He emphasizes the importance of 'active listening' and expressing feelings without assigning blame. Techniques such as using "I" statements can help individuals articulate their feelings while reducing defensiveness in their counterparts. By fostering an environment of open dialogue, roommates can address grievances constructively rather than letting conflicts escalate.
The Reddit community is solidly behind OP on this matter. One person saw a paid service with real value, while the other saw a convenient shortcut.
Most Redditors have advised OP to report her roommate to management for breaking the “no stealing” clause in their housing agreement.
The fact that her roommate has shown no remorse is all the more reason she should follow this up till justice is served.
We’d love to get your thoughts on this story.
Expert Opinion
This situation highlights a fascinating clash of values around fairness and entitlement in shared living spaces. The roommate's behavior may stem from an underlying belief that communal resources should be shared without consideration of contribution, which can often lead to resentment and boundary violations. It's a classic case where a lack of communication and differing expectations can escalate into conflict, as each person's perception of what's "fair" can vary significantly.Analysis & Recommendations
In navigating the complexities of shared living arrangements, effective communication and clearly defined boundaries are crucial for maintaining harmony. Experts emphasize the importance of proactively setting expectations and practicing empathy, which can significantly reduce conflicts.
By implementing strategies like regular check-ins and communal activities, roommates can foster a supportive environment that respects individual needs while strengthening their relationships. Ultimately, these practices not only enhance day-to-day living but also prepare students for collaborative experiences beyond college.
