Roommate Neglects Puppy: AITA for Keeping Care of Him?

A 28-year-old woman refused to just “wait it out” when her roommate’s puppy, Max, started getting treated like an afterthought. At first, the little guy was cute, easy to overlook, and everyone acted like the mess would sort itself out.

But Amy, the roommate, kept leaving Max alone for long stretches, forgetting meals, and generally acting like basic dog care was optional. Then came the week-long trip where she basically left food and water and hoped for the best. OP stepped in, fed him, walked him, and gave him the attention he was supposed to have in the first place, and now Amy is furious, threatening authorities, and calling OP controlling.

Now the real question is whether OP is protecting Max or crossing a line she should never have touched.

Original Post

So I (28F) have been living with my college roommate, Amy (29F), for the past year. About six months ago, Amy got a cute little puppy named Max.

At first, things seemed fine, and Max was adorable. However, as time went on, I started noticing some concerning behaviors from Amy.

She would often leave Max alone for long hours, forget to feed him properly, and neglect his basic needs. As an animal lover, this really bothered me.

I started taking extra care of Max, feeding him, walking him, and making sure he had enough attention. Recently, Amy went on a week-long trip without making any arrangements for Max's care.

She just left some food and water and expected him to be fine alone for days. I couldn't stand by and watch this poor puppy suffer, so I took it upon myself to ensure Max was well taken care of in Amy's absence.

When Amy returned, I confronted her about her neglectful behavior and told her that she needed to step up and properly care for Max or consider finding him a better home. Amy didn't take my words well.

She accused me of overstepping my boundaries and insisted that she knew how to care for her own dog. However, her actions spoke otherwise.

I couldn't trust her with Max anymore, so I made the difficult decision to tell her that I wouldn't give Max back until she proved she could provide him with the love and care he deserved. Now, Amy is furious with me, calling me controlling and unreasonable.

She's threatened to involve the authorities if I don't return Max to her. I care about Max deeply and want the best for him, but I also don't want to strain my relationship with Amy.

So, Reddit, am I the a*****e for refusing to give my roommate's neglected puppy back?

Ethical Considerations in Animal Care

She notes that neglecting a pet can lead to emotional distress and behavioral issues, which not only affect the animal but also the owner's mental health. This proactive approach can help prevent situations like the one described, where neglect leads to conflicts between roommates.

Comment from u/random_penguin87

Comment from u/xX_kitty_kat_Xx

Comment from u/sparkling_dragonfly22

It was Max’s missed feedings and long lonely hours that made OP stop treating this like “puppy growing pains” and start acting.</p>

In situations where pet care is inadequate, professionals recommend open communication.

This could involve creating a pet care schedule or discussing contingencies for pet care during absences. Establishing these norms in advance helps align responsibilities and ensures the pet's needs are met, reducing the likelihood of future disputes.

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Comment from u/goddess_of_writing

The week Amy disappeared, leaving Max with food and water and zero real plan, is when OP’s “I’ll just help” turned into “I’m taking over his care.”</p>

This is similar to the AITA where someone pushed their family to join their dream vacation.

When OP confronted Amy after she got back and told her to either step up or rehome him, Amy snapped back with accusations of overstepping.</p>

Pets like Max are not just animals; they're companions with emotional needs that must be addressed.

Owners should consider the long-term effects of neglect, as unstable environments can lead to trauma in pets. Seeking assistance from veterinarians or animal behaviorists for guidance on proper care and behavioral training ensures pets receive the love and stability they deserve.

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Comment from u/rainbow_dreamer123

Now that OP won’t hand Max back until Amy proves she can care for him, Amy’s threat to involve the authorities has turned this into a full-blown roommate war.</p>

Dogs thrive on routine and social interaction.

In cases of neglect, she recommends introducing structured daily exercises and playtime, which can significantly improve a dog's behavior and well-being. Furthermore, educating roommates about these needs can lead to a more supportive living environment for both pets and their owners.

Comment from u/music_lover_1998

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

The situation presented in this article highlights the critical need for mutual understanding regarding responsibilities, particularly when it comes to the well-being of a pet like Max. When one roommate neglects their duties, it can lead to significant distress for both the animal and the other person involved.

Creating a collaborative atmosphere is essential for ensuring that all parties feel supported and that pets receive the attention they deserve. The commitment to responsible pet ownership goes beyond simple care; it requires ongoing education about the needs of the animal and a readiness to adjust one’s approach as circumstances evolve. In this case, the Reddit user’s decision to step in for Max illustrates the profound bond that can exist between humans and their pets, emphasizing the responsibility that comes with that bond.

Max might be happier in a different home, because this one clearly can’t handle him.

Want another family blowup, read how one woman demanded her disinterested family join her vacation plans.