Roommate Out of Town, AITA for Throwing Birthday Party Without Permission?

AITA for inviting friends over on my 24th birthday when my roommate was away, leading to a dispute over house rules and utilities usage?

Damjan

Published in Interesting
5 Dec 2025

Roommate Out of Town, AITA for Throwing Birthday Party Without Permission?

In today's Reddit thread, we're diving into a birthday dilemma that many can relate to: balancing personal celebrations with shared living arrangements. The original poster (OP) recently celebrated their 24th birthday alone in their apartment while their roommate was away for the weekend.

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With family far away and no plans in sight, OP decided to invite a few close friends over for a surprise gathering on the actual day. The celebration was low-key, involving cake and champagne, and ended by 11:30 p.m.

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Without any mess or noise complaints. However, upon returning home, the roommate expressed outrage, claiming that OP violated house rules by hosting guests without prior permission—even in her absence.

The roommate insists that OP should contribute more to utility bills due to the "extra" usage during the gathering, which raises eyebrows about fairness and boundaries in their living situation. As the discussion unfolds, commenters offer varying perspectives, questioning the roommate's reaction and the concept of shared living agreements.

Join the conversation and share your thoughts: was OP justified in inviting friends over, or did they overstep the boundaries of their roommate agreement? How do you navigate such situations in your own living arrangements?

Original Post

I turned 24 yesterday, My roommate (23F) knew it was my birthday because i had mentioned it multiple times, My family lives across the country, so I had no much plans and was planning to be alone, later my roommate decided last minute to spend the whole weekend (Fri–Mon) at the her boyfriend’s place and i got the apartment to myself. On my actual birthday, on Sunday night, I posted on my private story that it was my 24th birthday, I invited three of my friends and they showed up at 8 p.m.

with cake and champagne to surprise me. We hung out in the living room, kept the volume normal, cleaned everything, and they left by 11:30 p.m.

No mess, no damage, no loud music, i just slept off and in the morning my roommate came home, Monday morning, saw leftover balloons, and flipped out. She says I threw a party, that I should have taken permission, even though she wasn’t here and that having anyone over without her permission isn’t okay even when she’s away, this breaks our house rules.

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She’s now demanding I pay extra for utilities because other people used power and water, she got mad. i found out that she told some of her friends I’m inconsiderate and took advantage of her being gone and that got me thinking, my friends are saying I should have just spent the day alone to respect the rules.

So AITA here?