Have you ever had someone make an assumption about you? Or, worse still, have you ever had someone just straight-up assume the absolute worst of you?
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Well, you're not alone. It happens to most of us at one time or another. But remember this: when someone feels the need to assume the worst of you with no reason, no validation, and without even bothering to investigate, those actions say far more about that person's character than they do about yours.
The nineteen people below know exactly what it feels like to be judged harshly. Scroll down to read their stories.
#1 "That is why you go to school, so you don’t have a job like that."
I went to Walmart while taking a break from painting the nursery. I was fairly spattered in paint and trying to pick a pizza. I heard a lady tell her kid, "That is why you go to school so you don’t have a job like that." There are layers to just how messed up that was, not the least of which is that house painters can make pretty decent money.
#2 "Since I was the only black guy, they just naturally assumed it was me."
At a past employer, someone complained to HR that I was allegedly playing inappropriate rap music too loudly at my desk.I was called into HR to explain myself and told them it wasn’t me; it was the white guy sitting two desks behind me, and he came in to admit it because he didn’t think it was such a big deal to be in trouble for.It was probably the fact that, since I was the only black guy in a certain part of the office, they just naturally assumed it was me.You can imagine the sheer embarrassment on the part of HR that followed.
#3 “Why won’t you date her? Are you gay?”
“Why won’t you date her? Are you gay?”“No, I just don’t like her.”“But she is prettier than you…”This happens strangely often, even if not with those exact words.
#4 “She’s way too young to have a child.”
I was in Target and stopped to look at a really cute swimsuit for a baby that was on display in the aisle.Two older ladies passed by, and one of them said, “She’s way too young to have a child,” nose in the air.I was in my mid-20s, probably the same age or older than she was when she had kids.
#5 "I’m probably just some uneducated immigrant who can’t speak English."
That I’m probably just some uneducated immigrant who can’t speak English.I’m Mexican; I drive a truck for a living. I make more doing this than putting my bachelor’s degree to use.I don’t talk much because I’m tired, grumpy, and depressed all the time.
#6 "So rude and disrespectful."
That I was being horribly disrespectful during a church ceremony.In reality, I was my little sister's Confirmation sponsor (Catholic rite) and was also in end-stage liver failure. I was on lots of medication for pain, and my brain was marinating in ammonia, so I had several head drops (like when you’re falling asleep) during the two-hour mass. A woman next to me berated me for being ‘so rude and disrespectful.’Luckily, my mom found her afterward and tore her a new one.
#7 "You must have been spoiled."
My (only) sister died when I was 15. When people I don’t particularly know or like very well ask me if I have siblings, I usually just say no – I don’t like to talk about it, and it’s a conversation killer. But it’s surprising how many have replied with, ‘Oh, only child? You must have been spoiled.’I love saying, ‘Well, I had a sister, but she died.’ The look on their face is priceless. Keep your judgments to yourselves, people.
#8 "More comfortable."
When I was working at Best Buy in my teens/early 20s, people would ask me to my face if I could go and get a “male” worker to answer their questions because they felt “more comfortable” asking them about it (stuff like game consoles, cameras and equipment, iPods; that was the area I worked in).The fun part was watching the customers' faces malfunction when that male coworker would walk them back over to me because I knew what I was doing in that department, and they only knew their stuff when it came to TVs or washers and dryers.
#9 "A guy of my height won’t have many options."
A girl I met for a date on an app once said to me at the end of the date that I should see her again because a guy of my height won’t have many options.
#10 "Lazy my ass."
That I’m lazy because I really enjoy video games.Bitch, I have a full-time job, a house, a car, a wife, and a dog.I also do most of the cooking, cleaning, dog-walking, and general chores around the house because my wife works crazy hours.Lazy, my ass.
#11 "I’m still pissed."
That I was stupid enough not to figure out that the guy I had a crush on in middle school was paid to go on a date with me as a joke.Ten-plus years later, I’m still pissed.Though based on how he’s doing now, I dodged a real bullet there, lmao.
#12 “The best thing about you is that you’re happy being mediocre.”
I was hanging out with a friend about a month after we had met, and they said, “The best thing about you is that you’re happy being mediocre.”This felt especially bad as, at that time in my life, I had just experienced a string of failures and was already pretty down.
#13 ”They look so British, they can’t be British.”
I am a German living abroad, so I have a German accent.Also, since I have had a receding hairline since my teens, I have a short haircut.So yeah, you’d be surprised how many times people have mistaken me for a Nazi.My father and I were in Prague when we heard an English woman say to her friend about us, “They look so British, they can’t be British,” which I don’t think was a compliment.Okay, we were British, but I think that was a bit uncalled for.
#14 "Multiple times I’ve been told I have a cocaine addiction."
I have ADHD, so I talk fast. I’m super tall and lanky and also suffer from allergies year-round.Multiple times I’ve been told I have a cocaine addiction.
#15 "Babes are always asking me to twist the caps off of everything."
Just because I have these muscular forearms, babes are always asking me to twist the caps off of everything.The truth is, I have really soft hands, and caps tear me up pretty good.
#16 "A mother told her son to make sure to get good grades so he didn't end up working in a movie theater like me."
Well… there was the time I was an engineering student at a very well-respected school, and a mother told her son to make sure to get good grades so he didn't end up working in a movie theater like me, to my face.I liked working there and did it because I was early in college and needed some extra cash.I guess everyone that works at a movie theater is just a dumbass instead of high school/college kids like we all were.So that was pretty shit.
#17 "I get misgendered all the time."
I have an undercut for my hair and wear it to the side; it almost hits my shoulder. I get misgendered all the time because of this.Apparently, people look right beyond the facial hair and just call me miss, ma’am, lady, or whatever. Pretty much whenever this happens, I just laugh it off because it’s kind of funny, honestly, and people make mistakes. I make sure they don’t feel bad about it when they realize it or just let them go and not correct them; it’s whatever.But sometimes people get rude and try to argue with me about why I look like a girl. So I’d say that's pretty rude.The assumption is whatever; just continuing to pester and get rude with me about it is what I think is really rude about the whole thing.
#18 "I can’t possibly be smart enough to do my job."
That I can’t possibly be smart enough to do my job (security side of tech) because I’m an attractive woman. (Not assuming here – I have had guys say this to me explicitly.)It did help quickly weed out the assholes while I was dating, though.
