Should I Address My Friends Prioritization of New Friends Over Our Dog Walking Group?

A 28-year-old woman is realizing her “tight-knit” dog walking group might be getting phased out, one last-minute cancelation at a time. The routine used to be the glue for five friends who showed up for each other, dogs and all.

But Sarah just started a new job, made new work friends, and now she’s regularly ditching the group to hang out with them. The kicker is how often she cancels right before the walk, leaving everyone waiting while she texts she can’t make it, and once the whole group even had to skip because she bailed last minute.

Now OP is stuck between wanting to confront Sarah and not wanting to light a fuse over new friendships.

Original Post

I (28F) have been a part of a tight-knit dog walking group for years. We're a group of five friends who walk our dogs together several times a week.

Lately, one of our friends, let's call her Sarah, has been ditching our walks to h**g out with her new friends from work. For background, Sarah recently got a new job and made some friends there.

I understand the excitement of new connections, but she has been consistently canceling our walks last minute to socialize with them. She used to be reliable, but now she often leaves us waiting at the meeting spot while texting us that she can't make it.

I know making new friends is important, but it feels disrespectful to the rest of us who have been there for her. We rely on these walks not just for our dogs' exercise but also for our own social time.

Recently, we had to skip a walk altogether because Sarah canceled last minute, and it was disappointing for all of us. I've been thinking about talking to Sarah about how her behavior is affecting the group.

I want to express how much we miss her on our walks and how her cancellations have been impacting us. However, I'm worried she might take it the wrong way and get defensive about her new friends.

So, Reddit, would I be the a*****e for confronting Sarah about ditching our dog walking group for her new friends, or should I just let it go and hope she comes around on her own? I really care about our friendship, but I miss the good old days when we were all together.

The Heart of the Conflict

This situation strikes a chord because it taps into the universal fear of being left behind as friends evolve. The OP's friend, Sarah, isn’t just shifting her social circle; she’s seemingly sidelining a long-standing commitment to the dog walking group. This raises questions about loyalty and the nature of friendships—especially when one person’s growth feels like another’s loss.

It’s not just about dogs and walks; it’s about the emotional investment in a shared routine that’s now being challenged. Readers can relate to the bittersweet reality of watching friends change, and the tension here lies in deciding whether to voice these feelings or risk further alienation.

Sarah used to be the reliable one, so her sudden “can’t make it” texts hit way harder than OP expected.

Comment from u/RandomRanter97

NTA - Your feelings are valid. Friendship is a two-way street, and she's been neglecting your group. It's fair to express how you all feel.

Comment from u/doglover_42

Totally get where you're coming from. Ngl, Sarah's actions are pretty disrespectful. I'd say confront her gently, she might not realize the impact.

Comment from u/simple_sylvia

YTA - People grow and change; it's natural to make new friends. Sarah's probably just caught up in the excitement. Maybe give her some space and see if she comes back around.

Comment from u/walkieswithbiscuit

YWBTA - Friendship evolves. It's tough, but sometimes priorities shift. Express your feelings calmly, but also be prepared for her to choose differently. It's a part of life.

It’s not just missing a walk, it’s the group of five losing that shared hang time they counted on.

Comment from u/RandomThoughts87

NAH - Relationships change, and it's okay to feel left out. Talk to her openly, not confrontationally. Communication is key in any friendship.

This dog-walking dilemma is similar to the flaky friend who kept messing up the routine, and someone who walked alone.

Comment from u/FriendlyNeighbor111

ESH - Sarah should communicate better, but friendships do change. Maybe have an open discussion without accusations. Honesty and understanding go a long way.

Comment from u/rambling_rover

Oof, tough situation. Sometimes friendships drift apart. But I get why you'd be hurt. Confrontation might lead to clarity. NAH, but tread carefully.

When Sarah canceled so late they had to skip entirely, OP finally felt the disrespect in a very real, very annoying way.

Comment from u/LostInThisMess

Friendship dynamics are complex. It's okay to feel hurt, but maybe give her some space to figure things out. Confrontation could backfire. Good luck, OP.

Comment from u/ThoughtfulReader22

Feels like a classic case of growing pains in friendships. Express your feelings, but be prepared for any outcome. Priorities change for everyone. NTA.

Comment from u/MuddyPawsEntwined

NTA - Friendships can evolve, but communication is key. Express your emotions openly, and maybe you both can find common ground. It's tough, but it's worth a shot.

The only thing more stressful than the cancellations is the fear that bringing it up will make Sarah dig in instead of listen.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

The OP's dilemma is further complicated by the fact that Sarah's new friends are colleagues, which adds a layer of professional dynamics to an already sensitive situation. Colleagues often become a significant part of one’s life, reshaping priorities and social commitments. This makes the OP’s feelings of disappointment not just valid, but also a reflection of her own insecurities about maintaining the friendship amidst these changes.

Interestingly, the community’s reaction varies widely. Some sympathize with the OP, advocating for direct communication, while others suggest letting go gracefully, emphasizing that friendships evolve. This division highlights a common struggle: balancing the desire to confront someone about their shifting priorities with the fear of coming off as needy or insecure.

What It Comes Down To

This story illustrates the delicate balance of friendships, especially when new connections start to overshadow old ones.

In this situation, the original poster's feelings of disappointment stem from a sense of loyalty and shared history with Sarah, who has recently prioritized new friends over their established dog walking group. It’s understandable that the OP feels sidelined, especially since Sarah’s last-minute cancellations disrupt not just their routine but also the emotional support the group has provided over the years. The community's mixed reactions highlight the difficulty of addressing changing dynamics in friendships, as many resonate with the fear of losing a connection while also recognizing that friendships naturally evolve.

OP might be risking the friendship just to get Sarah to show up, and that’s a brutal gamble.

Wondering whether to set boundaries with her new partner, read what Redditors debated in Should I Distance Myself from Friends New Partner?.