Should I Ask Guests to Pay for Their Meals at My Wedding? AITA?
AITA for considering having guests pay for their meals at my wedding to cut costs? Opinions are divided on whether this is a reasonable solution.
Planning a wedding can be a dream come true, but it often comes with its own set of challenges. One Reddit user, a 27-year-old bride-to-be, found herself contemplating a controversial idea with her fiancé to cut costs for their big day.
They stumbled upon a stunning venue that perfectly encapsulated their vision, but the price tag was higher than expected, especially with a sizable guest list to accommodate. In a bid to stay financially responsible, the bride suggested having guests pay for their own meals at the wedding, sparking a debate within their relationship.
While the bride saw it as a practical solution that could potentially save them thousands, her fiancé expressed concerns about the etiquette and perceived rudeness of asking guests to foot part of the bill. As they navigated this delicate situation, the Reddit community weighed in with a mix of perspectives, from supporting the couple's financial prudence to emphasizing the importance of not burdening guests on such a special occasion.
The discussion delved into the nuances of wedding expenses, guest expectations, and striking a balance between budget constraints and hospitality.
Original Post
So I'm (27F) in the midst of planning my wedding, and I've hit a bit of a snag with my fiancé (29M). For background, we're both very budget-conscious and have been saving up for this day for a while now.We found this amazing venue that fits our vibe perfectly, but it's a bit pricier than we anticipated. Plus, we have a large guest list.Here's where the drama comes in: we were trying to figure out ways to cut costs, and I suggested maybe having guests pay for their own meals. Hear me out; it sounds crazy, but it could save us thousands.My fiancé was a bit taken aback and thinks it's tacky and rude to ask guests to essentially cover their own dinner at our wedding. So, AITA for considering this?We both want a beautiful wedding day, but we also want to be financially responsible. I honestly don't know if I'm wrong here.The Ethics of Wedding Expenses
Dr. Rebecca Moore, a social psychologist, highlights that the question of who pays for wedding expenses often reflects broader societal norms and expectations.
In this case, the OP's consideration of asking guests to pay for their meals may trigger discussions about financial responsibility and cultural traditions.
Research indicates that financial dynamics can significantly influence relationship satisfaction, especially during high-stakes events.
Comment from u/WeddingDramaQueen

Comment from u/Luv2SaveMoney
Studies show that expectations around wedding expenses can lead to tension between couples, particularly when financial contributions are unequal.
In this scenario, the OP's proposal may reflect a need for transparency and fairness in financial arrangements, which can sometimes be perceived as insensitive.
Understanding these dynamics is crucial for navigating potential conflicts.
Comment from u/PartyPlannerPro
Comment from u/GuestEtiquette101
Cultural Perspectives on Wedding Contributions
According to research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, cultural norms significantly influence expectations regarding wedding expenses.
In this case, the OP should consider how their proposal might be received within their cultural context, as perceptions around financial contributions can vary widely.
Addressing these cultural considerations can help foster mutual understanding.
Comment from u/BudgetWeddingBlues
Comment from u/EventPlannerExtraordinaire
A practical approach might involve having an open conversation with guests about expectations and financial arrangements.
Creating a budget together and discussing who contributes what can help alleviate tensions and foster cooperation.
Additionally, exploring alternative ways to celebrate can also ease financial burdens while still honoring the wedding experience.
Comment from u/WeddingWisdomGuru
Comment from u/EatDrinkAndPayUp
We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.
Comment from u/SavvySaver
Comment from u/WeddingCostCuttingQueen
Psychological Analysis
This situation highlights the complexities surrounding financial contributions to weddings.
Engaging in open dialogue about expectations can help mitigate potential tensions and foster cooperation.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Navigating wedding expenses requires sensitivity to cultural norms and expectations.
Research consistently shows that open communication about financial contributions can enhance relationship satisfaction.
Ultimately, prioritizing understanding can lead to a more harmonious wedding planning experience.