Should I Ask My Ex-Best Friend to Repay a Forgotten Loan of $500?

It started with a simple loan, $500 that OP gave to her ex-best friend Sarah when Sarah lost her job. Back then, it was framed like help, not a contract, and their friendship was strong enough that the money felt like no big deal.

Then Sarah got a new job a few months later, and somehow the repayment never came up again. Now the friendship is falling apart over other issues, and every time OP brings up that $500, Sarah acts like she “doesn’t recall” it, even after OP already mentioned it during a heated argument.

So now OP is stuck between demanding what she’s owed and watching this friendship implode for good.

Original Post

So I'm (35F) and have been friends for over a decade with my ex-best friend, let's call her Sarah (33F). Sarah and I were inseparable, sharing everything from clothes to secrets.

About two years ago, Sarah hit a rough financial patch when she lost her job. Being the supportive friend I was, I lent her $500 to help her out until she found a new job.

For background, Sarah did find a new job a few months later but 'conveniently' never mentioned repaying me the loan. Fast forward to now, our friendship has soured due to other unrelated issues, and Sarah conveniently 'forgets' about the $500 loan she owes me.

It bothers me that she's playing dumb and thinks she can get away with not repaying me. Recently, I brought up the loan during a heated argument to make a point about her lack of accountability.

Sarah's response was dismissive, claiming she doesn't recall any loan and that our friendship should be above such trivial matters. This infuriated me, feeling like she's gaslighting me to avoid repayment.

Since then, I've been contemplating demanding the $500 back, not just for the money but as a matter of principle and respect. But I also worry that pursuing this might completely end whatever's left of our friendship.

So WIBTA if I press Sarah to repay the 'forgotten' loan, even if it risks the already strained relationship?

The Cost of Forgotten Friendship

This situation dives deep into the murky waters of money and friendship. When the OP lent Sarah $500 during a tough time, it was likely framed as a gesture of support, not just a loan. Now, with Sarah’s apparent forgetfulness about this debt, the OP feels disrespected, and this highlights how fragile trust can be in relationships. The emotional weight of that money is heavy; it’s not just about the cash but the underlying feelings of betrayal and neglect.

It’s fascinating how financial transactions can unravel emotional bonds, especially when they involve friends. The OP’s frustration is totally understandable, but it raises the question: can a friendship survive the tension of financial obligations?

Comment from u/sleepy_panda543

Comment from u/guitar_dreamer78

Comment from u/daisy_galaxy21

That $500 was supposed to be a lifeline when Sarah lost her job, not a debt OP has to fight for two years later.

Why Confrontation Feels Risky

The OP is facing a classic dilemma: should she risk further straining her relationship with Sarah to ask for what’s rightfully hers? Confrontation is never easy, especially when it could lead to a deeper rift. Yet, avoiding the issue could mean silently accepting disrespect, which can be just as damaging.

This tension resonates with many readers because it illustrates the broader struggle of balancing kindness with self-respect. The fear of confrontation often leads to internal conflict, where one must weigh the importance of the friendship against the need for accountability.

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The moment Sarah “conveniently” never mentioned repayment after getting hired again is when the whole thing stopped feeling like a favor.

Same tension as Reddit users debating whether it is ethical to ask a friend to repay unreturned borrowed money.

The Community's Divided Opinions

The Reddit community's responses to this dilemma have been telling. Some users are firmly on the OP’s side, arguing that financial commitments should be honored regardless of the friendship's status. Others take a more sympathetic view towards Sarah, suggesting that perhaps she genuinely forgot and that the OP should let it go.

This division highlights how personal experiences shape opinions on financial matters between friends. It’s a reminder that while some see money as a straightforward transaction, for others, it represents emotional stakes that can’t be easily dismissed.

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Comment from u/sapphire_starlight22

When OP brought it up in the middle of a heated argument and Sarah dismissed it as “trivial,” that’s when the gaslighting accusations started flying.

Emotional Stakes in Money Matters

What makes this situation even more compelling is how it reflects broader societal issues surrounding money and loyalty.

Comment from u/sleepy_beehive45

Now OP is weighing whether pressing Sarah to repay the forgotten loan will cost her the last thread of the friendship they used to swear by.

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

This story illustrates the delicate balance of friendship and financial responsibility.

This situation between the Reddit user and her ex-best friend Sarah is a classic example of how financial transactions can complicate personal relationships. The OP's decision to lend Sarah $500 during a tough time was rooted in genuine support, but now Sarah's dismissive attitude about repaying the loan feels like a betrayal, especially given their already strained friendship. This tension highlights how trust can easily fray when money is involved, leaving the OP grappling with the dilemma of asserting her rights versus preserving what's left of their bond. Ultimately, it raises broader questions about accountability and the emotional stakes tied to financial dealings among friends.

If Sarah keeps pretending she forgot, OP might as well stop funding a friendship that only works for her.

Still wondering if you should push Sarah for the $500, see what happened when a friend refused to repay a promised loan.