Should I Ask My Financially Struggling Cousin to Pay Rent After Letting Her Stay for Months?

Some families treat “temporary” like it has an expiration date. Others treat it like a suggestion. In this Reddit post, a married mom of two explains how she and her husband let their 29-year-old cousin move in after she lost her job and apartment, expecting a short runway while she got back on her feet.

Six months later, the cousin is still job hunting. She pitches in around the house, but the OP can see the financial strain. Meanwhile, the OP and her husband are dealing with their own unexpected money problems, and they’re starting to seriously consider asking the cousin to contribute to household expenses, including rent.

Now it’s not just about compassion, it’s about whether “helping family” has quietly turned into paying for someone else’s pause button.

Original Post

So I'm (34F) married with two kids (8M and 10F). About six months ago, my cousin (29F) lost her job and apartment, so we offered to let her stay with us until she got back on her feet.

For background, my cousin and I were close growing up, and I felt obligated to help her out. We agreed that she could stay for a few months while she looked for a new job.

Flash forward to now, and my cousin still hasn't found a job. She helps out around the house, but I can see that she's struggling financially.

Recently, my husband and I have been facing some financial difficulties due to unexpected expenses. We've been discussing asking my cousin to start contributing to the household expenses, including rent.

I know she's still job hunting and it might be tough for her, but I can't ignore our own financial strain. On one hand, she's family, and I want to support her.

On the other hand, we can't keep shouldering all the costs of having her live with us. I'm torn between helping her out and needing her to contribute.

Would I be the a*****e if I asked my financially struggling cousin to start paying rent after letting her stay with my family for months? I really need some outside perspective on this.

Family dynamics can be complex, especially when financial support is involved.

Comment from u/Dragonfly_123

Comment from u/starlight_gazer

Comment from u/coffeelover_87

The cousin’s “just a few months” stay stretches into six, and OP is watching her struggle while her own budget starts cracking.

This approach not only protects the host's financial interests but also helps the cousin understand the seriousness of her situation.

Comment from u/moonbeamz22

Comment from u/TheReal_Pancake

Comment from u/cloud9_dreamer

When unexpected expenses hit OP’s family, the rent conversation stops being theoretical and starts feeling urgent.

This is the same dilemma as the coworker fundraiser case where deceit made one donor question their support.

Instead of avoiding discussions about rent, approaching them with empathy can lead to a more constructive dialogue. Encouraging open dialogue about financial distress can provide your cousin with a supportive environment as she navigates her challenges.

Comment from u/music_fanatic76

Comment from u/adventure_seeker

Comment from u/serenity_now21

OP tries to balance the guilt of asking for money with the reality that the cousin is still not back to work.

For example, saying, 'I feel concerned about the financial burden' can open a dialogue without sounding accusatory. Establishing a mutual understanding helps both parties feel respected, fostering a healthier relationship moving forward.

Comment from u/midnight_rambler

The comments roll in as people react to OP’s dilemma, especially the idea that a clear contribution plan could change the whole dynamic.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

The Reddit user's situation illustrates how misunderstandings over financial obligations can strain relationships.

This situation underscores the delicate balance between empathy and personal responsibility that frequently emerges in family relationships. The host's instinct to support her cousin during a challenging time is commendable, yet it must be weighed against her own financial constraints. This internal conflict is palpable as she grapples with her desire to help versus the necessity to assert her own needs. By navigating this complex emotional landscape with respect and understanding, both individuals can emerge from the situation with a renewed sense of mutual support.

The family dinner is going to get awkward fast when “supporting her” turns into “charging rent.”

Wait until you see why this sister demanded a luxury resort and an equal split. Read the AITA fallout.