Should I Attend Husbands Family Gathering After Infidelity Bombshell?

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and this husband is about to find out that “please come to the family gathering” is not a free pass after a year-long affair. OP is 32, married for five years, and just when things felt stable, she discovered her husband’s betrayal had been going on for a full year.

Now they’re trying to rebuild, but the trust is still shredded, the anger is still loud, and the last thing OP wants is to walk into his family’s big get-together like nothing happened. His family has always been kind to her, which makes it even messier, because she’s stuck between not wanting to punish them and refusing to pretend she’s fine.

And the real kicker? He’s begging her to show up, claiming it will prove they’re “moving past it,” while she’s worried it will feel like a slap to her self-respect.

Original Post

I (32F) have been married to my husband (34M) for 5 years. Everything seemed perfect until I recently discovered that he has been having an affair for the past year.The betrayal crushed me, and I felt lost and devastated. We've been trying to work through it with therapy, but the pain and trust issues are still too raw.His family is now hosting a big family gathering, and he wants me to attend with him. For background, his family has always been welcoming and kind to me.However, the idea of facing them now, knowing what he did, fills me with anger and anxiety. I feel that attending would be a slap in the face to my own emotions and self-respect.On the other hand, he's begging me to go, saying that it would show his family that we're trying to move past this and rebuild our marriage.I'm torn between supporting him and standing up for myself. So, AITA?

Deciding to Attend Family Gatherings

Choosing whether or not to attend a family gathering following a partner’s infidelity can be a complex emotional decision. Research suggests that such situations can lead to divided loyalties and heightened emotional distress.

Comment from u/CaffeineAddict256

Comment from u/the_phoenix_rises

While OP is still reeling from the affair bombshell, his family’s “welcoming and kind” reputation is exactly what makes this decision feel impossible.

It’s crucial to assess your emotional readiness before deciding to participate in family events. Feeling unsupported or uncomfortable can exacerbate feelings of betrayal.

Comment from u/chocoholic_87

Comment from u/musiclover123

The husband wants her at the big family gathering to signal “we’re rebuilding,” but OP can’t shake the image of herself forced to smile through betrayal.

It feels like the sibling fight that erupted after a small bedroom renovation turned into a “dream room” power struggle.

Support Systems Post-Infidelity

After experiencing infidelity, having a solid support system is essential for emotional recovery.

Comment from u/gardening_fanatic

Comment from u/burgerlover22

Every time she thinks about facing them knowing what he did, the anxiety spikes, especially when he frames it as support for his image of reconciliation.

Engaging with trusted friends or family members can provide a safe space to express feelings and gain perspective, which may help in making a more informed decision.

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Comment from u/coffeeinmyveins

So OP has to decide whether showing up is actually rebuilding marriage, or just swallowing her anger in front of people who have no idea what’s really going on.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

Comment from u/queenofspades

Comment from u/avidreader99

In the aftermath of infidelity, it becomes crucial to place your emotional well-being at the forefront of your decisions. The dilemma faced by the Reddit user highlights the complexity of attending family gatherings while grappling with the pain of a partner's betrayal. Engaging with family in such a charged atmosphere may complicate healing, making it vital to carefully assess the impact on personal feelings and boundaries.

The family dinner might be “friendly,” but OP’s boundaries are not on the menu.

For another shocking family boundary moment, read about parents banning grandma from babysitting after their one-year-old wasn’t properly fed.