Should I Choose Solo Pottery Workshop Over Friends Travel Plans?

A 28-year-old woman planned a dream Europe trip with her best friend Kate, then found a pottery workshop in a tiny village and suddenly everything got messy. One minute it was flights, accommodations, and a rough itinerary, the next minute it was clay, a kiln schedule, and a question she did not expect to have to answer.

Kate is the adventurous type who wants to hit cities hard, but OP is more into museums, cafes, and slow, meaningful experiences. So when OP brought up the workshop two weeks before departure, Kate did not just seem disappointed, she framed it like OP was breaking a promise after years of planning.

Now OP is stuck between living her best “I love pottery” life and not blowing up a friendship that has lasted over a decade.

Original Post

I (28F) have been friends with Kate (27F) for over a decade. We've always dreamed of traveling together and finally planned a trip to Europe.

Kate is adventurous and loves exploring cities, whereas I prefer more laid-back activities like visiting museums and cafes. For background, we booked flights, accommodations, and made a rough itinerary.

However, two weeks before the trip, I stumbled upon an obscure pottery workshop in a quaint village that caught my interest. I brought up this workshop to Kate, hoping she'd be flexible with our plans.

Unfortunately, she was disappointed, emphasizing how we've planned this trip for years and how my sudden interest could disrupt our itinerary. Fast forward, I'm torn.

The workshop aligns with my passion, but I don't want to upset Kate. She sees it as a selfish move on my part, questioning my commitment to our friendship and the trip.

So, WIBTA for choosing the pottery workshop solo, prioritizing my interest over our carefully planned travel goals? I'm torn between fulfilling my passion and maintaining our friendship.

Really need outside perspective.

Caught Between Dreams and Friendship

This dilemma perfectly captures the internal conflict many of us face when personal aspirations clash with commitments to friends. The OP's excitement about the pottery workshop highlights a passion that’s not just a hobby but a core part of her identity. Choosing this workshop over a trip with Kate isn’t merely about travel; it’s about prioritizing self-expression and fulfillment.

But on the flip side, there's a real emotional weight in pulling out of a long-awaited adventure, especially when it involves a close friend. Kate likely had her own expectations tied to this trip, and the OP's decision could feel like a rejection of their friendship. This tension resonates with readers who’ve been in similar situations, sparking debates on where the line is drawn between pursuing personal goals and maintaining friendships.

OP’s whole Europe plan was already locked in, flights and lodging included, so bringing up a pottery detour two weeks before the trip felt like a bomb to Kate.</p>

Comment from u/AdventurousSoul333

NAH. It's understandable that you're excited about the workshop, but Kate's feelings are valid too. Maybe find a compromise or see if there's a way to incorporate both experiences.

Comment from u/CafeMuseumLover

YTA. You made a commitment to travel together, prioritizing a workshop over your friend seems selfish. Consider Kate's perspective and discuss a solution that works for both of you.

Comment from u/EuroTripDreamer

INFO. Did Kate express any specific reasons why she's upset? Communication is key in situations like this. Maybe discuss your priorities openly and see if there's common ground.

Comment from u/TravelBuddy1984

NTA. It's okay to have individual interests, even on a trip with a friend. Just ensure you communicate openly with Kate about your decision and try to find a middle ground.

Kate’s disappointment turned into a full-on argument, because she thinks the workshop move screams “selfish” instead of “just a passion.”</p>

Comment from u/MuseumExplorer22

ESH. Both sides have valid points. While it's great to pursue your passion, abruptly changing plans can upset your friend. Try to compromise or find a way to include the workshop without disrupting the trip.

This is kind of like the dilemma in a WIBTA debate where a woman considered ditching longtime friends for new trip plans.

Comment from u/PotteryPassion

NTA. Your interests matter too. It's essential to find a balance between personal fulfillment and friendship. Discuss your feelings with Kate and see if there's room for adjustments.

Comment from u/ArtisanAdventurer

YTA. While your passion is important, so is honoring commitments. It's crucial to consider Kate's feelings and the impact of your decisions on the trip you both planned.

OP keeps insisting the workshop fits her, but Kate keeps pointing at the itinerary and asking what happened to their shared dream.</p>

Comment from u/CulturalExplorer777

NAH.

Comment from u/TravelDilemma123

YTA. Changing plans last minute can be frustrating for Kate, who has also looked forward to this trip. Consider the impact of your decision on her experience and try to find a solution that respects both your interests.

Comment from u/FriendshipFirst99

NAH.

The real tension hits when Kate starts questioning OP’s commitment to both the friendship and the trip, not just the schedule.</p>

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

The Friends vs. Self-Care Debate

The OP's question—'Am I the antagonist here?'—highlights a common moral grey area in relationships. It raises a fundamental question: when does self-care become selfishness? Readers are divided on whether the OP should stick to her commitment with Kate or follow her passion. This tension is palpable in the comments, where some argue that pursuing one's interests is essential for personal growth, while others feel that friendships require sacrifices.

Moreover, the situation sheds light on how we often view travel as a shared experience rather than an individual journey. It’s a reminder that experiences can be enriching on their own, and choosing to prioritize oneself doesn’t have to imply neglect of others. This nuanced debate reflects the complexities of friendship and the importance of following one’s path, even when it’s fraught with difficult decisions.

This story serves as a microcosm of the daily conflicts we all face between personal desires and social obligations. It forces us to consider how we balance our passions with friendships—and whether we sometimes lose sight of our own needs in the process. So, what would you do in the OP’s shoes? Would you choose the pottery workshop or stick with your friend’s travel plans? This dilemma is a reminder that life often demands tough choices that can shape our identities and relationships.

In this situation, the OP's excitement for the pottery workshop reflects a deeper need for personal fulfillment, which contrasts sharply with Kate's expectations for their long-planned trip. The OP's suggestion to alter the itinerary reveals a clash between individual passions and shared commitments, showcasing how friendships can be tested by divergent interests. Kate’s disappointment suggests she values the journey they’ve planned together, viewing the OP's sudden interest as a potential threat to their long-standing bond. This scenario perfectly illustrates the delicate balance between self-expression and maintaining harmony in relationships.

If OP chooses the pottery workshop solo, she might get her dream, but Kate will likely decide the friendship is the one that got left behind.

Before you pick solo pottery over Kate’s itinerary, read how someone rejected expert travel advice and sparked drama.