Should I Demand Payment for Stolen Perfume from My Niece?
AITA for demanding my niece or her parents to repay me for stolen perfume? Click to read how a family dispute unfolds after a teenager's secret business venture is exposed.
A perfume collection can be a hobby, a flex, and a whole personality. But one Redditor just learned it can also become a family drama when a 17-year-old niece decides “decanting” is basically a side hustle.
Here’s the messy part: the OP lets people sample, gives out decants, even gifts bottles. So when the niece starts coming in under the cover of walking the dog, quietly pulling sprays, then selling the samples to her friends, it hits a nerve. The OP noticed because her “private” Instagram wasn’t private, tallied the missing amounts, and handed a price list to her sister, the niece’s mom.
Now it’s all about whether the OP should demand full payment, even if the money is supposed to go toward her niece’s car.
Original Post
(**Note: I’m not involving the police, suing anyone, etc. Please don't try to argue with me about this or "convince" me why I should.**) I have a perfume collection that I started when I was a teenager slinging burritos as my first job.
I have over 400 bottles at this point, I take great pride in my collection, and I use it. I’m also happy to give people decants (samples) of most of my bottles, let them sample a spray or two, give some bottles as gifts, etc.
What I have a HUGE f*****g issue with is my 17 year old niece coming into my home under the guise of walking my dog, decanting bottles on her own and SELLING THE SAMPLES to her little friends. She thinks that because I have so many bottles, I wouldn’t notice some missing or getting massive dents in them.
Well little miss entrepreneur failed to realize that her “private” Instagram wasn’t “friends only” or whatever and I saw each and every f*****g story with each price and sample she had. I tallied that s**t up and got a pretty good estimate based on cost per ounce.
Thankfully she mostly picked the “Tiktok famous” perfumes like Bianco Latte and Escapade Gourmand and didn’t go for the most rare, niche perfumes. She did snatch an entire 2.5 oz bottle of Baccarat Rouge, though, which runs $300+ at most retailers, as well as full bottles of perfumes you can get at Sephora.
Like Marc Jacobs Daisy, Burberry Her Elixir, Flowerbomb, etc. Petty or not, I printed out the entire list of what she’d taken, price estimate, and handed it off to my sister (her mom).
I said that I expect to be paid back, in full. And of course her f*****g sneaky little ass is never allowed in my home again.
My sister got super pissy with me going on about how my niece is just a kid, kids make mistakes, etc. I said yes, kids make mistakes, and this is a GREAT way for my niece to learn from hers.
Their argument is that now the money she was going to use for a car has to go towards paying me back. I don’t care.
She is lucky that I have no interest in involving the police, small claims, or any of that. But AITA, because she IS a teenager?
Family dynamics often involve complex emotional exchanges, especially when financial disputes arise. Research in family psychology reveals that perceived inequities in responsibilities, like financial contributions, can lead to significant strain in relationships.
This situation, involving the demand for repayment for stolen perfume, illustrates how unresolved conflicts can escalate into larger disputes that impact family cohesion.
Comment from u/Poutiest_Penguin
Comment from u/TemptingPenguin369
The whole situation flips from “friendly decants” to “someone is running a perfume shop out of my house,” the second the OP recognizes those TikTok-famous bottles in the niece’s Instagram stories.
When these boundaries are violated, it can lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment, making open dialogue essential for resolution.
Understanding the motivations behind familial actions can help address underlying issues rather than just the surface conflict.
Comment from u/naraic-
Comment from u/sour_lemons
That’s when the OP does the math, spots the Baccarat Rouge theft, and turns screenshots into a real-world receipt for her sister.
It also echoes the question in this AITA about asking struggling parents to share bills.
Comment from u/briomio
Decants from rare vintage perfumes can go for substantial amounts - People make a living off of this. Your niece decided to defraud you hoping she would never get caught. I think her parent needs to take a hard look at the morals of her child.
Comment from u/RyanStoppable
Comment from u/Natto_Assano
The sister’s argument, that “she’s just a kid” and should only face consequences that fit a car budget, collides hard with the OP’s insistence on being repaid in full.
Practical Strategies for Conflict Resolution
Using 'I' statements can help express how the action affected you personally, fostering a more empathetic exchange.
Comment from u/ReviewOk929
Comment from u/Kmia55
And after the OP prints the list, delivers it to the mom, and bans the niece from the house, the family dinner energy turns into a full-on blame game.
What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!
In this family saga, navigating the stormy waters of conflict requires a delicate blend of empathy and communication.
Moreover, involving a neutral third party, such as a family mediator, can facilitate a more productive discussion.
Nobody wants to watch their $300 bottle get treated like pocket change.
For another inheritance standoff, see why one AITA poster refused to sell the home against their parents.
