Should I Feel Guilty for Refusing to Share Discount Shopping Tips with Ex-Colleague?

A 29-year-old woman refused to keep feeding her ex-colleague’s “discount shopping” habit after she quit her retail job, and suddenly it turned into a guilt trip with receipts.

OP and Jane, both in their late twenties, used to work together, and Jane always admired how OP could spot deals on everything from clothes to electronics. OP even shared strategies at the time, because it felt friendly and fair when they were coworkers. But after OP resigned for a better job, Jane started calling and asking for more tips, and when OP said no, Jane’s money problems got worse fast, then got blamed on OP.

Now OP is stuck wondering if she’s being selfish, or if Jane is treating “help” like an owed subscription.

Original Post

So I'm (29F) recently left my job at a retail store, where I worked alongside Jane (27F). Jane always admired how I managed to find amazing discounts and deals on clothes, electronics, you name it.

She would often ask me for tips on how to save money while shopping, and I'd happily share some strategies with her. Fast forward a few weeks, I handed in my resignation due to a better job offer, and Jane reached out, asking for more discount shopping advice.

I felt a bit uncomfortable since we wouldn't be coworkers anymore, and I wanted to keep some things private. I politely declined, telling her I needed to keep some methods to myself now that we weren't working together.

I thought it was fair. However, Jane spiraled from there.

She started struggling to manage her expenses, mentioning that my advice really helped her budget. She even asked if I could reconsider and give her some pointers.

It got emotionally intense, and I felt guilty that my decision impacted her finances. Jane's financial situation worsened, and she blamed me for not supporting her like before.

She argued that I owed it to her to help since she saw me as a mentor in saving money. Now, I'm torn between feeling responsible for her struggles and wanting to maintain my privacy.

So AITA?

The Fine Line Between Help and Enabling

This scenario really highlights the often blurry line between being helpful and enabling someone’s dependency. The OP had a history of sharing discount tips, which likely made her ex-colleague feel entitled to that knowledge. When you’ve built a rapport based on support, it can feel jarring to suddenly pull the plug, especially when the other person is struggling financially.

It raises questions about responsibility—should the OP continue to share her insights just because it’s a habit? Or is she right to step back and prioritize her own boundaries? The financial strain her ex-colleague is facing adds weight to the conversation, making it more complicated. It’s not just about tips; it’s about how much one person can give before it becomes detrimental to their own well-being.

This whole mess starts with Jane seeing OP as the go-to deal hunter, right up until OP’s resignation changed the rules.

Comment from u/JovialPotato123

NTA, you have no obligation to share your money-saving tips, especially after leaving the job. Jane needs to learn to manage her finances without depending on others.

Comment from u/CookieMonster42

YTA. If Jane relied on your advice and you abruptly cut her off, it's understandable she's upset. Maybe you could have eased her into finding her own discounts.

Comment from u/PineappleExpress

NTA. Jane's financial stability shouldn't hinge on your discount tips. She needs to take control of her own budget and find ways to save without relying on you.

Comment from u/CoffeeAddict_77

ESH. You could have handled the situation more delicately, but Jane also needs to understand that your assistance was a bonus, not a necessity.

After OP politely declined more discount tips, Jane didn’t just accept it, she spiraled and pointed at OP like the missing budget line item.

Comment from u/MoonlightDreamer

NTA. You provided advice out of goodwill, not as a permanent financial crutch for Jane. It's not your responsibility to solve her money issues post-employment.

This is similar to the AITA where an OP refused to share discount tips with a struggling colleague.

Comment from u/SunshineSmiles42

YTA. Sharing money-saving advice is beneficial, especially if Jane found comfort and guidance in your previous tips. It wouldn't hurt to offer her some help.

Comment from u/TheRealDebate

NTA. You are not obligated to disclose your discount strategies, and Jane should learn to be financially independent without solely relying on your advice.

The emotional intensity ramps up when Jane says OP’s advice used to help her budget, then asks for “just pointers” like nothing changed.

Comment from u/CoffeeBreaker23

YTA. Jane relied on your guidance, and abruptly cutting her off could have been handled with more empathy and gradual withdrawal of assistance.

Comment from u/MidnightReader_99

NTA. Jane needs to understand that while your advice was helpful, she should also take the initiative to find new ways to save money and manage her finances independently.

Comment from u/StarryNightSky

YTA. By abruptly refusing to provide further discount tips, you left Jane in a tough spot financially. It wouldn't have hurt to continue assisting her in a limited capacity.

Now that Jane’s finances are crashing, she’s framing OP’s boundary as betrayal, and OP is stuck feeling responsible for a problem she didn’t cause.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

A Community Divided

The mixed reactions in the comments show just how complex this issue is.

The Bigger Picture

This story invites us to reflect on the dynamics of workplace friendships and how boundaries can become blurred once those professional ties are severed. The OP's struggle to balance her past generosity with her current boundaries is something many can relate to. It’s a tough question: when is it okay to stop helping someone who has relied on you? How do we determine the line between support and self-preservation in our relationships? What do you think?

Why This Matters

In this situation, the OP's decision to stop sharing discount tips likely stems from her desire to establish boundaries after leaving her job, while Jane's reaction reflects a sense of entitlement built from their previous coworker relationship. When Jane blamed the OP for her financial struggles, it illustrated how former workplace dynamics can complicate personal boundaries; she viewed the OP not just as a colleague but as a mentor. The emotional intensity of the situation shows how easily dependency can form, making it difficult for both parties to navigate their new roles outside of work. Ultimately, this is a poignant reminder of the complexities in transitioning from professional connections to personal autonomy.

Jane might not like the answer, but OP owes nobody private discount secrets just because she used to share them.

Wait, can Jane really be the “bargain hunter” betrayer in this reselling AITA? Read the friend betrayal over discount shopping secrets and reselling.