Should I Give My Parents All My Savings for My Braces? AITA?

Some families treat your paycheck like it comes with fine print, and this one is definitely testing that theory. A 16-year-old has been quietly stacking savings for a car, but every time the number comes up, the conversation somehow turns into a guilt trip.

OP works part-time at a store near their mall, puts 30% of each bi-weekly check into a separate account, and has built up a little over $1,000 in about seven months. Meanwhile, they’re still helping with gas by driving their dad’s truck and grandpa’s jeep, and they’re paying most of their $140-a-month insurance bill. Then braces enter the chat: the retainer is scanned, but the family has to cover about $1,200 because insurance did not, and OP is suddenly being pushed to hand over all their savings.

It’s not just money they’re arguing about, it’s control.

Original Post

Hello reddit, this is my first ever post and honestly I just really need some clarity. I really think it's valid for thinking the way I do but my parents are making me question if I’m in the right. So I (16) have been saving up for a car for a little bit under a year now.

I got a part-time job working at a store at my closest mall. (not gonna say which one for obvious reasons).

I get paid bi-weekly, and I usually put in about 30% of every check into a separate saving account automatically. Over the last 7 months, I’ve accumulated a little over 1000 dollars for my car.

In the meantime, I’ve been driving my dad’s truck and my grandpa's jeep to work and wherever I need to go. And yes, I do pitch in for gas money since I'm working. Because of this though, they are constantly asking me how much money I have saved up for my car.

Every time I tell them a number, even when I told them I literally had 1000 dollars, they always undermine it and make it seem like I should be saving MORE money and that I'm spending too much of it on “luxuries”. I personally think I AM doing enough to save up and at the pace I was going I would’ve had a car for senior year.

They also help me pay for my car insurance since I literally wouldn’t be able to pay it with my bi-weekly income. (I do still pay for the majority $140 a month).

Unfortunately, I have braces at the moment. Fortunately, I'm supposed to get them on Tuesday so in about 2 days.

I’ve already been scanned for my retainer but in order to receive it we have to pay about $1,200 because my insurance didn’t cover it. I'm going to call tomorrow to talk about a payment plan and see if we have that option.

(I can't today since they are closed) but at first, I reluctantly offered to put in all of my savings since my parents don’t have the money to pay for all of it. After giving it some thought though, I realized that I’ve worked very hard for that money to buy my car and I don’t wanna give all of it up.

I know my parents can’t pay for all of that out of pocket so I don’t mind paying the majority but I worked very hard for that money and I don’t feel comfortable giving it all away like that, and starting to start over when I don’t have to. When I brought this up to my dad (56) he got angry and called me ungrateful and told me that I shouldn’t be greedy with my money.

I really don’t think I'm being greedy or stingy. I wanna help especially since it’s MY retainer. I just feel like it’s unfair to ask me to give away ALL the money I saved up for my car, knowing it’s going to take me a very long time to get that back.

Especially after all of the times they pressured me about said money. Reddit please let me know, AITA?

Sorry one thing I forgot to mention. The reason my retainer is so expensive is because I have hypodontia and I'm missing my two central incisors.

My retainer has the two teeth that I’m missing so every time I have it I will have a normal smile. (For those who don’t know I believe Coryxkenshin the YouTuber has the same thing.)

Comment from u/Radiant-Birthday-669

Comment from u/ConflictGullible392

Comment from u/old_motters

Every time OP tells their parents they have around $1,000 saved for the car, they get hit with the same response, they should be saving more and “less” on luxuries.

The situation faced by the 16-year-old Redditor highlights a critical aspect of growing up: the need for financial literacy. With over $1,000 saved from a part-time job, this young person is caught between personal aspirations and family expectations. Engaging in open discussions about money management could empower adolescents to navigate such dilemmas more effectively.

If parents prioritize involving their teens in financial decision-making, it could cultivate a sense of responsibility and independence. This approach might have encouraged the teenager to communicate their feelings about their savings without the pressure to compromise their own goals for the sake of family obligations.

Comment from u/AJSCRPT

Comment from u/ptprn11

Comment from u/Ok_Hornet3415

In navigating the complex interplay between financial independence and familial obligations, the importance of communication cannot be overstated.

Comment from u/Effective_Olive_8420

Comment from u/BigComfyCouch4

Comment from u/No-Past-9857

OP also keeps paying into the real-world costs, gas for the job and $140 a month for insurance, but the braces bill is where their savings starts getting targeted.

This is similar to the person refusing to pay an eviction fine for a cat.

Teaching children about prioritizing savings can foster a sense of responsibility while helping parents understand the importance of supporting their children's goals.

By establishing a joint savings account for family expenses and personal goals, families can navigate financial discussions more effectively. This approach creates a structure where both parties feel heard and respected in their financial journeys.

Comment from u/ViolettBlue

Comment from u/Historical-Age-4160

Comment from u/Dapper_Bunch_2247

Since the retainer costs about $1,200 and insurance won’t cover it yet, OP reluctantly offers to put in all their savings, basically trying to solve the problem alone.

Parental expectations can significantly influence adolescent decision-making. The pressure to conform can lead to conflict between personal desires and family needs.

Parents should encourage their children to pursue their personal goals while also discussing family obligations. This balance can help teenagers learn to negotiate their needs and understand the importance of mutual respect in financial matters, which can lead to healthier family dynamics.

Comment from u/twizzlersfun

Comment from u/justhewayouare

Comment from u/Brilliant_Two1095

Parents can use real-life scenarios, like the current situation with braces, to educate their children on budgeting and prioritization.

By engaging in discussions about the costs of dental care versus personal savings, parents can instill valuable lessons about making choices. This could also help the teenager understand the importance of financial planning and the implications of their decisions in the long run.

Comment from u/grmrsan

Comment from u/Mayor__Defacto

Comment from u/ImaginaryAd5712

Now OP is planning to call about a payment plan, but they’re stuck wondering if giving everything they earned is the only way to keep the peace.

Creating a Compromise

Negotiation is essential in family financial situations.

This could teach the teenager about shared responsibilities and collaborative decision-making in financial matters. By setting aside a portion of their savings for the retainer and finding alternative funding for the car, both parties can feel validated in their financial needs, promoting a healthier family dynamic.

Comment from u/AutoModerator

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

This situation underscores a familiar conflict faced by many adolescents today: the push and pull between personal autonomy and familial duty. The teenager's hesitation to relinquish their hard-earned savings illustrates a fundamental need for independence and recognition of their efforts. This sentiment is vital for fostering a strong sense of self-worth and personal agency. On the other hand, the parents’ response seems to be rooted in their own financial pressures and the expectation of familial support. However, this dynamic can unintentionally lead to feelings of guilt and resentment for the young person, complicating what should ideally be a supportive family relationship.

This situation highlights the intricate balance that young people must strike between family obligations and personal financial goals. The Redditor’s dilemma of whether to use their hard-earned savings for braces underscores the pressures that can arise from parental expectations. Open communication about finances is not just beneficial; it is essential. By discussing financial priorities, parents can guide their children in developing independence while still considering family needs.

Structured conversations around money can pave the way for future understanding, helping to avert conflicts like the one faced by the Redditor. Creating an environment where financial habits are nurtured and mutual respect is established can empower young individuals to make informed decisions that align with both their aspirations and their responsibilities to family.

OP might not be the problem, but this “pay with your savings” family deal sure is.

Want another money fight, read about the friend who had to repay before funding her dream project.