Should I Have Consulted My Partners Work Schedule Before Planning a Family Vacation?

The OP, a 35-year-old dad, and his 33-year-old partner have both been drowning in work and family obligations, so a getaway sounds like relief. But here’s the catch, her job is high-demand and she has specific upcoming periods where she has to be present. He didn’t consult her before booking, because he feared she’d say no. When he finally told her, she was shocked and upset, and now she’s stuck choosing between missing family time and risking her career momentum.

And the worst part is, the trip was meant to be a surprise, not a trap.

Original Post

So I'm (35M), and my partner (33F) and I have been discussing taking a much-needed vacation with our two kids to a tropical destination. We've both been stressed out with work and family obligations, and we thought it would be a great idea to spend quality time together.

I found an amazing deal on a vacation package that aligns perfectly with the kids' school break. However, I didn't consult my partner about the dates before booking because I was afraid she might say no due to her work commitments.

For background, my partner works in a high-demand job that often requires her to be present during specific periods. She's dedicated to her career, and I respect that.

I was just too excited about the idea of a family vacation that I went ahead and booked everything without telling her. When I finally revealed the surprise, she was shocked and upset that I didn't consider her schedule.

She explained how important certain upcoming projects were and how it might be difficult for her to get time off. Now she's torn between missing out on family time or jeopardizing her career growth.

She feels like I put her in a difficult position by making decisions without her input. I understand her perspective now, but I was genuinely trying to create a special experience for our family.

So WIBTA for planning a surprise family vacation without consulting my partner's work schedule? I honestly don't know if I went too far in my excitement.

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It also echoes the poster debating whether to cancel a family vacation for a brother’s career opportunity.

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He was so focused on locking in the “perfect” dates for the kids’ school break that he skipped the one conversation that mattered to his partner’s work calendar.

When he revealed the surprise, his partner didn’t just feel inconvenienced, she felt blindsided about those specific upcoming projects.

Now she’s weighing two ugly options, losing vacation time with the family or potentially jeopardizing her growth at work.

And the OP is stuck wondering if his excitement about a tropical escape turned into something more like a decision he made without her.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

He wanted a family vacation, but he accidentally booked a fight.

Still stuck between family time and last-minute obligations, see the dad torn over canceling a long-awaited ski trip for a work deadline.