Should I Have Excluded My Pregnant Friend from Girls Night Out?

A 28-year-old woman thought she was planning a harmless girls’ night, but one pregnant friend made the whole thing feel way more personal than anyone expected. The group’s vibe was simple, wine and paint, the kind of plan that usually works for everyone.

Except Amy is seven months pregnant. She couldn’t do the activity, she voiced her disappointment in the group chat, and the group still went ahead. Amy even offered a compromise, a movie night where she could join virtually, but the rest of the friends basically voted to stick with the original plan.

Now the OP is stuck wondering if she accidentally picked “group fun” over “being there” during a pretty isolating time, and the guilt will not let her sleep.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and I have this close friend, let's call her Amy (27F). Amy's about 7 months pregnant and needless to say, she's been feeling a bit left out lately since our girls' nights out involve activities she can't participate in.

Last week, my friend group decided to have a wine and paint night, and Amy texted in our group chat expressing her disappointment that she couldn't join. We all understood but went ahead with the plan.

Amy then suggested we do a movie night instead where she could join virtually through a group call. I thought that was a great idea and shared it with the group, but surprisingly, they all wanted to stick with the wine and paint night.

I tried to advocate for Amy, saying it would be more inclusive to do something she can participate in. They didn't budge, and in the end, I had to tell Amy we were sticking with the original plan.

She seemed understanding but I saw a hint of sadness in her texts. Now, I feel torn - my friends think I'm overthinking it, but I can't shake off the guilt of excluding Amy during this special time in her life.

So, AITA?

This situation highlights the often-unspoken tension between inclusion and the evolving needs of friendships during significant life changes. The OP's decision to exclude Amy, who's seven months pregnant, raises questions about what it means to support friends through their transitions. While the OP might see it as a simple girls' night out, for Amy, it's a reminder of her isolation and the disconnect that can happen when priorities shift.

Readers are divided over whether pregnancy should alter social activities, illustrating how friendships can become a minefield of expectations and realities. Some think it's reasonable to exclude someone for the sake of the group's dynamics while others argue that true friendship should adapt and include, regardless of a friend's changing circumstances.

When Amy, seven months pregnant, couldn’t join the wine and paint night, the group’s “we understand” energy still turned into a plan she wasn’t part of.

Comment from u/popcorn_luver123

YTA, pregnancy can be isolating, and it wouldn't hurt to be more considerate of Amy's feelings

Comment from u/catwhisperer98

NTA, Amy's pregnancy shouldn't dictate every group activity. It's nice that you tried to include her virtually

Comment from u/pizzaplease456

ESH, your friends should've been more open to adjusting the plans, but you could've communicated better with them before telling Amy

Comment from u/tacotuesday22

NTA, pregnancy is temporary. Your friends shouldn't have expected every plan to revolve around Amy. She'll understand

Amy suggested a virtual movie night through a group call, and the fact that they didn’t even try it is what makes the whole thing sting.

Comment from u/gamingdad45

YTA, pregnancy changes a person's social life. It wouldn't have hurt to skip one wine and paint night to make Amy feel included

Just like the fallout with her pregnant sister’s baby shower, where work commitments sparked the argument.

Comment from u/coffeeaddict007

NTA, it's understandable to have group activities that not everyone can participate in. You still tried to make Amy feel involved virtually

Comment from u/icecreamlover2021

NTA, pregnancies are special but life goes on. Amy will have different priorities during this time, and that's normal

The OP pushed for inclusion, but her friends refused to budge, so she ended up telling Amy they were locking into the wine and paint night anyway.

Comment from u/bookwormgal

YTA, it's about empathy. Pregnancy can be tough, and a little adjustment from the group wouldn't have hurt

Comment from u/thunderstorm99

ESH, it's a tough situation. Your friends were a bit rigid, but maybe there could've been a compromise where both activities were planned for different days

Comment from u/sunflowerchild

NTA, you tried to find a solution that worked for everyone, but some flexibility from your friends would've been nice

After Amy seemed understanding but texted with a hint of sadness, the OP started replaying every message like it was a verdict.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

The Emotional Toll of Exclusion

The emotional ramifications of the OP's choice are palpable, especially considering Amy's feelings of isolation.

Where Things Stand

This story serves as a poignant reminder of how life changes can strain friendships and spark tough conversations.

What It Comes Down To

In this situation, the dynamics of friendship are put to the test as the group prioritizes their planned wine and paint night over Amy's inclusion. The OP's internal conflict reflects the struggle many face when balancing group enjoyment with the needs of a friend undergoing a significant life change. Amy’s suggestion for a virtual movie night highlights her desire to stay connected, yet her friends’ refusal to adapt reveals a lack of empathy, making her feel even more isolated during a time when support is crucial. This story captures the emotional complexities of friendships, especially when one person's circumstances shift dramatically.

She might not have meant to exclude Amy, but the wine and paint night still left a bruise.

For another pregnancy-friendship blowup, read why she chose advice over a traditional baby shower.