Should I have shared Black Friday deals with my friend? AITA?

A 27-year-old woman thought she was being normal about Black Friday, until her friend acted like she’d committed a crime. The OP spent hours hunting down the best online deals, the kind that make your cart feel like a jackpot. Electronics, fashion, all of it, deeply discounted, and very much not the same as strolling into a mall.

Her friend Sarah, 26, is a shopper too, but she prefers brick-and-mortar stores. Still, when the OP mentioned she was going online to score deals, Sarah asked for the links. The OP hesitated because these offers were tied to online shopping, and she wanted to lock in her own finds. Black Friday hits, the OP lands a high-end laptop and a designer bag, and Sarah calls later asking for the exact links, then gets hurt when they are not shared.

Here’s the full story of how Black Friday savings turned into a friendship blow-up.

Original Post

I (27F) am an avid online shopper and always on the h**t for the best deals. As Black Friday approached, I spent hours scouring websites to find incredible discounts on electronics, fashion, and more.

Quick context: my friend Sarah (26F) is also into shopping, but she prefers traditional brick-and-mortar stores. When I mentioned my plans to score amazing Black Friday deals online, Sarah asked me to share the links with her.

I hesitated because I knew these deals were exclusive to online shopping. However, Sarah insisted, saying she wanted to try online shopping too.

Feeling torn, I decided to keep the deals to myself to secure what I wanted. Fast forward to Black Friday, I managed to snag a high-end laptop and designer bag at unbelievable prices.

Sarah called me later that day, excited to hear about my haul. When she asked for the links to the deals, I froze.

I didn't want her to benefit from the hard work I put in to find those deals. Sarah sounded disappointed and hurt, questioning why I wouldn't share something so simple.

She accused me of being selfish and obsessed with material possessions. So, AITA for refusing to share those exclusive Black Friday deals with my friend, which led to our fallout?

Why This Request Crossed a Line

The crux of this conflict lies in the dynamics of friendship and self-preservation. The OP’s decision to keep the links to exclusive Black Friday deals is more than just about shopping; it speaks to a deeper issue of trust and reciprocity. Sarah’s request was not just casual; it implied an expectation of sharing that wasn't reciprocated in the past. When the OP invested time and effort into finding those deals, it’s understandable they’d want to protect that advantage, especially in a cutthroat shopping environment.

This situation mirrors a common tension in friendships where one person puts in extra effort while the other expects the same benefits without contributing. It raises the question: should friendships come with a quid pro quo, or is it simply about generosity? The debate between self-interest and loyalty is what makes this story resonate with so many readers.

Sarah asked for Black Friday links, and the OP froze because the best deals were tied to online shopping she’d worked for.

Comment from u/LemonadeQueen91

NTA, you put in the effort to find those deals! If Sarah wanted them, she could have invested time like you did. Your deals, your choice! #TeamOP

Comment from u/JadenIsRad

YTA. Friends help friends, simple as that. You could have shared some leads without giving away all your secrets. Material possessions shouldn't trump friendship.

Comment from u/taco_lover777

D**n, that's a tough one. I get wanting the best deals for yourself, but shutting out a friend for a laptop? ESH. Should have found a middle ground, OP!

Comment from u/pizza_ninja42

INFO - Did Sarah ever share any exclusive deals with you before? If it's one-sided, then OP, you made the right call. If not, gotta spread the love!

After the OP scored a high-end laptop and a designer bag, Sarah called to celebrate, then immediately pivoted to, “So where are the links?”

Comment from u/MoonlightDancer99

NTA. Sarah needs to understand boundaries. You worked hard to get those deals, and it's your right to use them for yourself. Don't sweat it, OP!

Or, if you’re worried about a copycat friend, see the AITA debate over keeping shopping deal secrets from a mimicking best friend.

Comment from u/coffee_addict24

YTA here, no doubt. It's just deals, not treasures. Sharing is caring, especially when it comes to helping out a friend. You missed the mark, OP.

Comment from u/AdventureAhead22

In my opinion, ESH. Sarah shouldn't have pressured you, but you also could have spared a couple of links. Friendship over bargains, always. Lesson learned!

When the OP didn’t send anything, Sarah took it personally and accused her of being selfish and obsessed with material stuff.

Comment from u/SparklingRaindrop

NTA. Your friend shouldn't expect you to give away hours of your work just for some deals. Protect your finds, OP. Shopping is a battlefield!

Comment from u/gamer4life_99

OP, don't beat yourself up. NTA. It's Black Friday, survival of the savviest! Sarah needs to respect your decisions and not guilt-trip you over this.

Comment from u/SunflowerDreamer17

YTA. You let materialistic gains come between your friendship. Deals come and go, but true friends are irreplaceable. Apologize and make things right.

Now the friendship fallout is all about trust, because Sarah felt entitled to the OP’s deal-hunting effort, and the OP felt used.</p>

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

The Real Issue Here

This story highlights a relatable dilemma in the age of online shopping where competition can strain personal relationships. The OP and Sarah’s differing shopping strategies point to broader values about effort and reward. The OP's meticulous search for deals signifies a proactive approach, while Sarah's traditional method may symbolize a more passive attitude toward opportunities. This juxtaposition creates an intriguing conflict—one friend has invested time and energy, while the other seems to expect the fruits of that labor without contribution.

It’s interesting to see how readers weighed in on this situation, with some siding with the OP for prioritizing their hard work, while others felt that friendship should trump individual gain. The emotional stakes are high when money and trust intersect, making this a compelling discussion about the nature of friendship in a competitive landscape.

Where Things Stand

This story encapsulates the fine line between self-preservation and loyalty in friendships, especially when it comes to something as seemingly trivial as shopping deals. It prompts us to consider how we balance our own interests with those of our friends. In this digital age, where every click can lead to a financial advantage, how do we navigate the expectations of sharing versus safeguarding? Would you have shared the deals, or do you think the OP was justified in keeping them private? Let us know your thoughts!

Why This Matters

In this situation, the original poster’s choice to withhold the Black Friday deals highlights a common tension in friendships over effort and reward. She put significant time into finding those discounts, which makes her reluctance to share understandable, especially given that Sarah's shopping approach is more traditional and less proactive. On the flip side, Sarah's disappointment reveals an expectation of reciprocity in their friendship, suggesting that she may have felt entitled to the benefits of the OP's hard work without having contributed equally. This clash between self-preservation and the desire for camaraderie raises important questions about how we navigate our relationships amidst competitive environments.

Nobody wants to feel like they did all the legwork, then got told they should have shared it anyway.

Wondering if you’re wrong for withholding Black Friday shopping secrets, read Sarah’s AITA story in Should I Share My Shopping Secrets with My Friend? AITA for Refusing?.