Should I Help My Friend Move to Get Closer to Her Crush?

A 28-year-old woman is stuck in a messy friendship situation after agreeing to help her friend Sarah move apartments.

The problem is that Sarah is moving into the same building as her crush, Mike, and she wants the move to double as a sneaky way to run into him on purpose. That leaves the Reddit poster wondering whether she is being a good friend or helping set up a plan that feels a little too calculated.

Now the question is simple, should she help with the move or back out completely?

I (28F) have this friend, let's call her Sarah. Sarah is head over heels for this guy, Mike, and she's been crushing on him for months.

Recently, Sarah asked me to help her move to a new apartment, which I agreed to since moving can be tough. Here's the twist: I found out that Mike, her crush, lives in the same building she's moving to.

He has no idea about her feelings for him. Sarah's plan is to 'accidentally' bump into him in the shared spaces and strike up a conversation.

I feel conflicted about this whole situation. On one hand, I want to support my friend and help her with the move.

But on the other hand, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of being part of this scheme to get her close to Mike without his knowledge. For background, Sarah has had bad luck in the past with relationships, and I can see how much she likes Mike.

But manipulating a situation to get his attention doesn't sit right with me. So, AITA for not wanting to help Sarah move in with the intention of getting closer to her crush in a sneaky way?

Would I be wrong to back out of helping her altogether?

That is where the awkward part really starts.

Research highlights that friends should feel safe expressing their true feelings and intentions openly.

Comment from u/bookworm_456

Comment from u/table_flipper89

Comment from u/pizza_lover_123

while pursuing love can motivate individuals to make bold choices, it's essential to consider the ethical implications involved.

Comment from u/coffee_addict22

Comment from u/mountain_hiker77

Comment from u/sunset_watcher

She advocates for self-reflection, encouraging individuals to assess their motivations. This way, friendships can remain intact while still allowing for personal aspirations to flourish.

This is similar to the AITA where the OP confronted her best friend for asking out her crush, claiming it was “helping.”

Comment from u/music_fanatic_555

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Comment from u/sushi_lover_99

cognitive distortions can often cloud judgment in relationship matters.

recommends practicing cognitive restructuring - actively challenging and reframing negative thoughts. For instance, instead of thinking, “I must help Sarah to keep our friendship,” consider, “I can support her in a way that respects our values.” This fosters healthier decision-making in social dynamics.

Comment from u/gamer_gal_707

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

As this situation unfolds, it becomes evident that honesty and ethical behavior are paramount in friendships.

This scenario encapsulates the perennial struggle between friendship loyalty and ethical considerations. The protagonist in this tale faces a dilemma when her friend Sarah enlists her help for a move that seems driven more by ulterior motives than genuine need. Such situations reveal the uncomfortable interplay between support and manipulation, as the protagonist weighs her role in potentially facilitating a misguided romantic pursuit. This predicament invites a deeper reflection on personal values and the implications of one's actions. True friendship flourishes in an environment of openness, not in the shadows of calculated moves.

Sarah's plan is already making the move feel a lot more complicated than it should be.

Want trust-level chaos like Sarah, read how someone asked her best friend to move out after pursuing their crush.