Should I Keep My Roommates Lost Cat Hidden to Prevent Her from Moving Out?

A 27-year-old guy is staring at the most chaotic roommate problem imaginable: his roommate’s cat is missing, and he knows exactly where it is.

He’s living with a 25-year-old woman who’s been planning a move for months, mainly because her next apartment won’t allow pets, and she wants to be closer to work. Then the cat slips out while the door is open, the roommate panics, and the OP spots the cat hiding in his room. Instead of telling her, he’s considering keeping her trapped there, so she never follows through and takes the cat away.

It’s love, right? Or is it the kind of control that blows up friendships overnight.

Original Post

So I'm (27M) currently living with my roommate (25F) who has this adorable cat that she adores. She's been talking about moving out for a while to a new place that doesn't allow pets, and she's set on it because it's closer to her work.

I, on the other hand, love having the cat around and couldn't bear to see her go. The other day, the cat slipped out when the door was open, and my roommate has been frantic looking for her.

I saw the cat hiding in my room but haven't told my roommate because I'm considering keeping the cat hidden so my roommate has to stay here. I'm conflicted because I know it's not right to hide a pet just to keep someone around, but I really enjoy having the cat here.

Would I be the a*****e for not telling my roommate about her missing cat in the hopes that she won't move out and take the cat with her?

The Moral Dilemma of Hiding a Pet

This situation gets messy fast. The OP's idea to hide the cat to prevent their roommate from moving out raises serious ethical questions. Sure, they might think they're acting out of love, trying to keep a cherished pet—and their roommate—close, but it borders on manipulation. Pets hold emotional value, and using that bond as leverage feels exploitative.

The OP's roommate, a 25-year-old woman, is clearly at a crossroads, wanting to prioritize her own needs and lifestyle choices. By considering a pet-free apartment, she’s trying to carve out a space that suits her. The OP’s dilemma reflects a common tension in shared living situations: balancing personal desires with group dynamics. When does caring become controlling?

The moment the cat slipped out and the roommate went full frantic, OP had a choice, and he chose silence, at least for now.

Comment from u/Pancake_Master33

Honestly, that's a bit manipulative. It's her cat, and she has the right to take it wherever she wants. YTA if you hide the cat to sabotage her moving out plans.

Comment from u/Luna_Lover786

Dude, you can't mess with someone's living situation because you like having a cat around. Be honest with your roommate, or you risk ruining your relationship and trust. Not cool, bro. YTA.

Comment from u/gamer_girl2001

OMG, this is wild. Just talk to your roommate about how much you love having the cat around instead of resorting to sneaky tactics. Communication, man. YTA if you keep the cat hidden.

Comment from u/Coffee_Addict42

I get it, living with a pet is awesome, but choosing to hide her cat to manipulate her into staying is over the line. Be a decent human and tell her where the cat is. YTA.

While the roommate is searching for her pet, OP is literally watching the cat hide in his room, weighing “keeping her” versus “letting her go.”

Comment from u/skywatcher999

Try talking to her about how much you'll miss the cat if she moves out. Being upfront is better than resorting to dishonest tactics. Don't hide the cat. YTA if you do.

This echoes the AITA fight where a roommate’s girlfriend wanted to bring an aggressive cat into their home.

Comment from u/TheRealDebateStar

This is a tricky situation, but hiding the cat to influence her decision is not the way to go. Be honest about your feelings and discuss it openly. YTA if you keep the cat hidden.

Comment from u/NoobMaster99

Whoa, that's some sneaky move. Just be upfront and tell her how much you enjoy having the cat around. Don't resort to manipulation. YTA if you hide the cat.

Then the whole plan turns ugly, because the roommate’s move is already set around a pet-free apartment, and OP would be sabotaging it with the cat as the leverage.

Comment from u/throwaway_thinker27

It's understandable that you love the cat, but hiding it to influence your roommate's decision is not right. Be honest and express your feelings instead of resorting to deceit. YTA.

Comment from u/MountainHiker87

Hiding her cat to prevent her from moving out crosses a line. It's her pet, her choice. Talk to her about how much you'll miss the cat if she moves, but don't manipulate the situation. YTA.

Comment from u/RandomThoughts23

Whoa, that's a dilemma. But hiding the cat to control her choice is not right. Be honest with your roommate about why you want her to stay. Don't manipulate the situation. YTA.

The comments on the thread call it manipulation fast, especially when you remember it’s not a shared pet, it’s her cat and her decision to move.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

Community Reactions Hit Home

The Reddit community's reaction to this thread is a testament to the complexity of roommate relationships.

Final Thoughts

This story resonates because it peels back the layers of shared living and the emotional ties we form with both people and pets. It raises a crucial question: how far should one go to keep a relationship intact? In a world where personal decisions can cause ripples, what’s the balance between love and manipulation? As the OP grapples with this dilemma, it’s a reminder that sometimes, what feels like a protective instinct could actually be a misstep. How would you handle a similar situation?

What It Comes Down To

The original poster’s struggle to keep his roommate's cat hidden reflects a deep emotional attachment to the pet, which complicates his decision-making. His desire to prevent her from moving out, driven by affection for both the cat and his roommate, crosses into manipulative territory, raising ethical questions about boundaries in shared living. This situation highlights the challenges of balancing personal feelings with respect for others' autonomy—his actions risk damaging their friendship, despite his good intentions. Ultimately, it serves as a reminder that open communication is crucial in navigating these complex dynamics.

If OP hides the cat to keep her roommate stuck, he’s not saving a relationship, he’s setting it on fire.

Before you hide the cat, see whether someone was wrong to adopt a stray cat against their partner’s wishes.