Should I Kick Out My Partners Beloved Pet Snake?

A 28-year-old woman is living with her partner in a small apartment, and the roommate situation comes with a twist: a pet snake named Monty. At first, she tried to be chill about it, basically treating the tank like an avoid-at-all-cost roommate hazard.

Then Monty escaped. He slid into the kitchen, startled her, and sent her into full panic mode. In the moment, she asked her partner to find Monty a new home, because she wants peace of mind and safety in their shared space. But her partner, 30, is devastated, since Monty is his longtime companion, and he insists the snake should roam freely for his well-being.

Now they are stuck arguing about what “fair” even means when one person is terrified and the other thinks the snake belongs everywhere.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) currently living with my partner (30M) in a small apartment. For background, my partner has had a pet snake, Monty, for several years. I was hesitant, but I agreed to live with Monty because I understood how important he was to my partner.

At first, things were fine, and I tried my best to avoid Monty's tank in the living room. However, recently Monty somehow escaped his tank, slithered into the kitchen, and startled me.

I panicked, and in the heat of the moment, I asked my partner to consider finding Monty a new home for both our comfort and safety. My partner was devastated and explained how much Monty means to him and how it wouldn't be fair to give him away.

I feel conflicted because I want my partner to be happy, but having a snake in our shared space makes me incredibly anxious. I suggested keeping Monty in a separate room, but my partner wants him to roam freely as he believes it's better for Monty's well-being.

This situation has caused tension between us, and I'm unsure if I'm asking too much by wanting Monty out of our apartment. So AITA?

The Emotional Stakes Are High

This story strikes a chord because it lays bare the emotional stakes involved in pet ownership and relationships. For the partner, Monty isn't just a snake; he's a symbol of affection and companionship. The original poster's discomfort reflects a real fear that many can relate to, especially those who aren't fond of reptiles. It's hard to dismiss the idea that Monty has become a part of their shared life, having been a long-term resident of their apartment.

Yet, the OP’s feelings can't just be brushed aside. Living in a small space with a pet that evokes fear can create a significant strain on the relationship. The tension here isn't just about the snake itself; it’s also about differing emotional attachments and what they reveal about each partner's values and priorities in the relationship.

After Monty slithered into the kitchen and startled her, OP’s request suddenly stopped being “preference” and turned into “we need a plan.”

Comment from u/catlover123

NTA - Snakes can be really scary, especially if you're not used to them. Your partner needs to understand your feelings on this.

Comment from u/garden_gnome88

YTA - Your partner had Monty before you moved in together. It's unfair to ask him to get rid of his beloved pet.

Comment from u/icecreamgalore

NAH - It's a tough situation. Maybe you and your partner can find a compromise, like setting up better security for Monty's tank.

Comment from u/skyhighdreamer

INFO - Have you tried getting more comfortable with Monty? Education about snakes might help alleviate your fears.

Her partner’s reaction, devastated and hurt, is what really ratchets up the tension, because he’s treating Monty like family.

Comment from u/coffeefanatic99

ESH - Your partner should be more considerate of your feelings, but you also need to work on managing your fear.

It also echoes the partner who refused to let his girlfriend’s snake sleep in their bed.

Comment from u/bookworm365

NTA - Your mental well-being matters too. Have an open conversation with your partner about finding a middle ground.

Comment from u/gymrat234

YTA - You knew about Monty before moving in. It's not fair to change the agreement now.

Even when OP suggests keeping Monty in a separate room, the roaming-free rule turns their compromise into a dead end.

Comment from u/random_thoughts22

NAH - Fear of snakes is valid, but so is your partner's attachment to Monty. Try finding a solution that respects both sides.

Comment from u/beachbum47

INFO - Is there a way you can create a safe space for both you and Monty in the apartment? Boundaries might work.

Comment from u/musiclover56

NTA - Your partner should prioritize your comfort in your shared space. Finding a compromise is crucial here.

With their apartment still small and the snake still a wild card, OP is left wondering if she’s the problem for wanting Monty out.</p>

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

The Community's Divided Response

The Reddit community's reaction showcases just how polarizing this situation is.

This conflict underscores the nuanced dynamics of living together, where personal fears collide with emotional attachments. The real challenge lies in finding a middle ground that respects both partners' feelings. How do you think the couple could navigate these differences in a way that honors both the partner's love for Monty and the OP's discomfort? Let’s hear your thoughts!

The Bigger Picture

The situation between the original poster and her partner highlights the emotional complexities of cohabitation, especially when it involves pets like Monty the snake. While the partner's attachment to Monty is understandable, given that he’s been part of their life for years, the OP's deep-seated fear of snakes complicates things. This story serves as a reminder that balancing personal fears with a partner's emotional investments is often a delicate dance, requiring open communication and compromise.

Nobody should have to live in fear of their partner’s escaped snake.

For a roommate showdown over a snake roaming the living room, read whether setting Monty-style tank boundaries makes you the bad guy.