Should I Leave My Entire Inheritance to My Financially Dependent Son?

This inheritance drama is not some abstract “what if” debate. It started with a 63-year-old dad, his 65-year-old wife, and their youngest son Liam, 21, who has been living in their house and leaning on them for basically everything since a life-threatening scare three years ago.

The complication is that Liam is employed and can handle housework, but his money sense and street sense are so bad he’s been scammed multiple times and has needed help getting out of dangerous situations. When OP nearly died during the first wave of the pandemic, the older sons stepped in and agreed to set up Liam with lifetime funds and insurance, with them managing it after they were gone.

Then Christmas happened, the will came up, and the whole family turned on OP for “infantilizing” Liam, while others argued he should be sent away and “learn the hard way.” Now OP is stuck wondering if he’s protecting his son or just creating a bigger mess.

Original Post

Me(63M) and my wife(65F) have 5 boys and our last one, Liam(21M) is a total surprise. He was born while our 4th one was 16 years old so he has become the baby of our family and we have a problem, his social and financial intelligence is near zero.

He managed to be scammed multiple times while he was in high school, he does not understand how the money works and we had to get him from dangerous situations multiple times. At first we thought he needed tough love but after a life-threatening situation happened 3 years ago , we had to accept he was dependent on us for his life and we started to arrange every stuff and opportunity we had.

Last year, when pandemic hit us and I almost died at the first wave, I called my older sons, we sat down and they all said our inheritance should have to go to Liam as lifetime funds and insurance that they said they will also be contributing and they will manage the funds for us after we were gone so it was settled. Last week at family Christmas when my brother asked what have we done about our will, we said we left everything we owned to Liam with an approval of his older brothers.

Everyone in the house got nuts saying we are infantilizing Liam more, he is going to be a spoiled brat and if the situation is that bad, he has to be sent to a private institute and what were we thinking about our future hypothetical grandkids (we don't have any and none of my kids and their spouses have a desire of procreating.). My extended family does not like How Liam was raised and they think he has to see the bare bottom but we saw that and it isn't nice.

He currently lives at our house, can manage housework and he has a full time job(luckily remote and does not need that much social interaction,he is a data analyst) but these were very big things for us. I did not give a thought about the stuff my family said but my close friends said we can not shield Liam forever and we need to let him go.So,AITA?

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This is also like a sibling demanding an equal split of parents’ caregiving expenses after one sibling did more.

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After Liam’s scamming streak and those dangerous rescues, OP and his wife basically stopped treating “support” like a phase and started treating it like a safety plan.</p>

The older sons agreeing to fund Liam for life and manage everything after OP and his wife are gone is what made the inheritance plan sound airtight.</p>

But the minute OP mentioned the will at family Christmas, the relatives flipped from “concern” to full-on accusations that Liam is being spoiled and shielded.</p>

Even OP’s close friends chimed in that they can’t keep Liam at home forever, leaving him stuck between protecting Liam and obeying everyone else’s version of “tough love.”</p>

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

He might be trying to secure Liam’s future, but the family dinner already proved they can make his future feel like a punishment.

That’s a different kind of inheritance fight, read about a man refusing to split his deceased grandfather’s art collection.