Should I Share my Grandmas Secret Thanksgiving Recipe with my Sister-in-Law?
"Debating whether to share a treasured family recipe with a sister-in-law known for claiming credit for copied dishes - seeking advice on how to handle the delicate situation."
A 28-year-old woman refused to share her grandma’s secret Thanksgiving family dinner recipe with her new sister-in-law, and honestly, the timing could not be more loaded. One week before the big day, her sister-in-law came asking for the exact details like it was a simple favor, but this request is coming from someone with receipts.
The sister-in-law is 30, just married into the family, and has a habit of copying recipes and claiming them as her own. Last Christmas, she served a dessert that looked and tasted way too similar to one OP made at a family gathering, then admitted she used OP’s recipe without credit.
Now OP is stuck between wanting to help her bond with her new in-laws through food and protecting a tradition that’s supposed to stay in the family.
Original Post
So I'm (28F), and this Thanksgiving, my sister-in-law (30F) asked me for our cherished family dinner recipe. It's a secret passed down from generations and a centerpiece of our Thanksgiving dinners.
My sister-in-law recently married my brother and is eager to impress her in-laws with her cooking skills. For background, my sister-in-law has a history of copying recipes and claiming them as her own.
Last Christmas, she served a dessert that was eerily similar to one I had made for a family gathering. She later admitted to using my recipe without giving me credit.
She approached me a week before Thanksgiving this year, asking for the exact details of our family dinner recipe. I felt uncomfortable sharing it, especially considering her past behavior.
I kindly told her I preferred to keep it within the family, but she insisted that she wanted to make an impression on her new family. I feel torn between wanting to support her efforts to bond with her in-laws through food and protecting our family tradition.
On one hand, I understand her desire to strengthen her relationship with her new relatives, but on the other hand, I don't want our treasured recipe to be used without proper respect and acknowledgment. So, would I be the a*****e if I continue to withhold our family recipe from my sister-in-law, knowing that it could impact her efforts to connect with her new family?
I honestly don't know what to do in this situation and could use some outside perspective.
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Like the Sunday dinner argument in Family Feud: Should I Keep Grandmas Secret Recipe to Myself?, keeping the recipe sparks a full-blown debate.
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That Christmas dessert was basically the preview, and OP is not forgetting it.
When the sister-in-law asked again a week before Thanksgiving, it turned from “request” into “repeat behavior.”
The hardest part is OP can see why the sister-in-law wants to impress her new in-laws, but she also knows how this story goes.
So right when the family dinner is on the line, OP has to decide whether the recipe stays protected or gets taken anyway.
What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.
The family dinner did not end well, because sharing a secret with the wrong person turns Thanksgiving into a power struggle.
Before you decide, read how a woman handled her estranged half-sister’s sudden biscuit-recipe interest.
