Should I Skip My Best Friends Engagement Party After She Ignored My Birthday?

A 27-year-old woman refused to show up to her best friend’s engagement party after getting ghosted on her birthday, and now the whole friendship is in free fall. It’s the kind of thing that sounds small until you realize it wasn’t a one-time slip, it was a pattern of being ignored when it mattered.

OP and Lily have been close for years, but last month Lily totally forgot her birthday, no call, no text, not even a social media mention. OP tried to shrug it off, then Lily came in a week later, all excited, talking about engagement party plans. When OP brought up the birthday, Lily brushed it off like it was nothing, and that’s when OP decided she couldn’t stomach showing up.

Now Lily is calling her petty for not attending, and OP is stuck deciding whether to stand firm or chase the friendship again.

Original Post

I'm (27F), and my best friend, Lily (28F), recently got engaged. We've been close for years, but our friendship has hit a rough patch.

It all started when Lily forgot my birthday last month. No call, no text, not even a social media post.

I felt hurt but decided to let it slide, assuming she was busy. Fast forward to last week, Lily excitedly tells me about her engagement party plans.

I was happy for her but also hurt that she had ignored my birthday. When I subtly mentioned it, she brushed it off, saying she had a lot on her plate.

That really stung. Cut to the day of the party, and I couldn't bring myself to attend.

I felt like my feelings were disregarded, so I made other plans instead. Lily was upset when I didn't show up, saying I was being petty and selfish.

Now, she's giving me the silent treatment. I'm torn between standing my ground and trying to salvage our friendship.

So, AITA?

In navigating the complexities of friendships, the recent Reddit discussion highlights a crucial element: communication.

Comment from u/chocolatechip_lover88

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When Lily forgot OP’s birthday completely, it wasn’t a “busy” moment, it was a full-on disappearance.</p>

Therapists recommend setting emotional boundaries to protect oneself in friendships.

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Comment from u/MoonlitShadows

OP didn’t blow up the friendship, she just mentioned it once, and Lily still acted like it didn’t count.</p>

If you’re torn between tradition and making a sacrifice, see the homeschooling debate between the spouse and the financially stressed parent.

On the day of the engagement party, OP made other plans instead of walking into a celebration that felt one-sided.</p>

Emotional neglect can lead to feelings of insecurity and anxiety, particularly in close friendships.

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Comment from u/ocean_breeze7

Now Lily is giving her the silent treatment, and OP has to figure out if she’s the problem or the only one keeping score.</p>

We're curious to hear your perspective. Share your thoughts in the comments.

In navigating the emotional complexities of friendships, it's essential to prioritize open communication and emotional health.

This scenario vividly illustrates how quickly feelings of neglect can undermine the foundation of trust in friendships.

Nobody wants to celebrate love while feeling like their own birthday didn’t even deserve a text.

Before you decide to skip Lily’s engagement party, read how a cousin start-up investment split a family.