Should I Skip My Dads Wedding After He Left Mom for His Secretary?

A 28-year-old woman refused to show up for her dad’s lavish wedding after he left her mom for his secretary, and it’s already turning into a family-wide emotional battlefield. This is not a “two people got divorced” story, it’s a “he traded 30 years of marriage for someone barely old enough to rent a car” situation.

Her mom has been devastated, financially and emotionally, since the breakup. Meanwhile, her dad is moving fast, planning a wedding with the woman he replaced, and pushing his daughter to attend like nothing happened. The daughter is stuck between supporting the man who shattered her family and standing by the mom who’s still picking up the pieces.

It’s the kind of loyalty test that doesn’t end at the church doors, and readers can’t stop side-eyeing the timing.

Original Post

I (28F) come from a super close-knit family. My parents have been together for 30 years until recently.

Quick context - my dad (55M) recently started a new job and ended up leaving my mom (52F) for his secretary who's barely 25. The whole family was shocked, and my mom was devastated.

She's been struggling emotionally and financially ever since. Now, my dad is planning a lavish wedding with the secretary, and he's been pressuring me to attend.

I feel torn between supporting my dad and standing by my mom, who's heartbroken. Deep down, I feel angry and resentful towards my dad for betraying our family.

So WIBTA for refusing to attend his wedding, knowing how much it means to him?

The Torn Loyalties at Play

This story digs deep into the emotional complexity of family loyalty. The daughter feels a visceral sense of betrayal watching her father leave her mother for his much younger secretary, a shift that not only alters family dynamics but also challenges her own identity within that family. It’s not just about skipping a wedding; it’s about supporting a man who shattered her mother’s life for a new beginning. The pain of her mother’s heartbreak weighs heavily on her decision, showcasing how one person's choices can ripple through a family, causing critical fractures.

Readers resonate with this conflict, as many have faced similar dilemmas where love for a parent clashes with loyalty to a wronged partner. Such situations force us to confront uncomfortable truths about our loved ones and ourselves.

Comment from u/crazy_cat_lady33

NTA. Your dad's actions hurt your family. Your loyalty to your mom is important. Your dad needs to understand the consequences of his choices.

Comment from u/coffeeholic_87

D**n, that's rough. Your dad made his bed, now he has to lie in it. It's totally understandable why you'd want to support your mom. NTA.

Comment from u/gamer_gal321

NTA. Your dad's marrying his secretary? Classic move. Your mom needs you right now. Support her. Dad needs to understand he can't just break hearts and expect everyone to be happy for him.

The whole family was shocked when the secretary, barely 25, became the new “big love,” and that’s when the tension started cooking.

Comment from u/pizza_forever22

I can't believe your dad would do that! Your loyalty to your mom is admirable. NTA for not wanting to go. That's a tough situation.

Comment from u/dancing_dragon_99

Whoa, that's heavy. Your dad really messed up. You're totally justified in choosing to support your mom. NTA.

Comment from u/bookworm_girl

NTA. It's understandable that you're conflicted, but loyalty to your mom is crucial right now. Your dad needs to face the consequences of his actions.

Comment from u/sunny_side_up456

That's a tough spot to be in. Supporting your mom is important, especially after what your dad did. NTA for prioritizing her feelings.

Comment from u/burst_of_sunshine

NTA. Your loyalty to your mom is commendable. It's hard to navigate family drama like this. Dad needs to understand the hurt he's caused.

Comment from u/midnight_whispers

What a messy situation. It's understandable why you're hesitant about attending. Supporting your mom seems like the right move. NTA.

While her mom is still struggling financially and emotionally, her dad is busy with wedding plans and pressuring his daughter to play along.

Comment from u/moonchild_84

Your dad's behavior is shocking. Supporting her through this tough time is crucial. NTA for not wanting to attend.

Comment from u/purple_skies

I'm sorry you're going through this. Your loyalty to your mom is admirable. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding after how he hurt your family.

It’s like choosing an estranged dad over a sister’s wedding, forgiveness vs. family loyalty.

Comment from u/silly_willy_nilly

That's a lot to handle. Your loyalty to your mom is commendable. NTA for not wanting to celebrate your dad's new relationship after how it started.

Comment from u/rainy_day_coffee

NTA. Your dad's actions speak volumes. Supporting your mom during this difficult time is crucial. Dad needs to understand the impact of his choices.

Comment from u/melancholy_melody

That's a tough situation. Your loyalty to your mom is vital. Your dad needs to realize the hurt he's caused. NTA for not wanting to attend his wedding.

Comment from u/cozy_blanket_123

I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. Your loyalty to your mom is admirable. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding given the circumstances.

The daughter’s anger is not vague, it’s tied to the exact moment her dad betrayed the marriage and rewrote the family dynamic overnight.

Comment from u/wisdom_seeker_55

NTA. Your loyalty to your mom is crucial. Your dad's actions have consequences, and he needs to understand that. It's okay to prioritize your mom's feelings.

Comment from u/mellow_moonchild

That's a rough situation to be in. Supporting your mom is essential. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding after everything that happened.

Comment from u/spring_breeze

Your loyalty to your mom is admirable. It's understandable why you'd feel conflicted. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding under these circumstances.

Comment from u/whispering_willow

NTA. Your dad's actions have consequences, and he needs to understand that. You're not wrong for prioritizing your mom.

Comment from u/cloudy_skies_22

Your loyalty to your mom is important. Your dad's actions have consequences, and he needs to face them. NTA for not wanting to attend his wedding given the circumstances.

Comment from u/sapphire_dreamer_99

Supporting your mom through this is crucial. Your loyalty to her is commendable. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding after the way he treated your family.

Now that the wedding is getting close, the decision to skip is basically a public vote on who deserves loyalty, her mom or the secretary-wife-to-be.

Comment from u/starlight_rainbows

What a difficult situation. Your loyalty to your mom is understandable. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding considering the circumstances.

Comment from u/night_owl_73

Your mom needs you right now, and your loyalty to her is commendable. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding after how it all played out.

Comment from u/serendipity_sunshine

Navigating family drama like this is tough. Prioritizing your mom's feelings is crucial. NTA for not wanting to attend your dad's wedding given everything that happened.

Comment from u/coffee_cake_lover

That's a lot to handle. Supporting your mom is important, especially after what your dad did. NTA for not wanting to attend his wedding considering the circumstances.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

Complicated Relationships and Community Reaction

The Reddit community's response to this post highlights just how divided people can be when it comes to matters of the heart. Some commenters advocate for loyalty to the mother, arguing that attending the wedding would feel like condoning the father's actions. Others suggest that the daughter should try to separate her feelings about her father's choices from her relationship with him, emphasizing that family dynamics can be fluid and messy.

This debate underscores a common theme: the struggle between personal ethics and familial ties. It raises the question of whether it’s possible to forgive a parent for their mistakes while still feeling the weight of the emotional fallout on the other side.

The Bigger Picture

This story serves as a poignant reminder of how family dynamics can shift dramatically over time, leaving loved ones to grapple with conflicting emotions. The daughter's dilemma reflects a very real struggle many face: how do we navigate loyalty when the foundation of our family feels shaken? As readers, we’re left wondering how we would handle a similar situation. Would we stand by a parent who made a hurtful choice, or would we prioritize the feelings of a parent who’s been wronged? These questions linger long after the story ends.

The daughter’s turmoil is understandable given the shock of her father’s betrayal after 30 years of marriage. Her loyalty to her mother, who’s emotionally and financially struggling, creates a powerful conflict, making her feel torn between familial duty and personal ethics. The pressure from her father to attend the wedding amplifies her feelings of resentment, highlighting how one person's choices can fracture family bonds. This situation resonates with many, as it raises difficult questions about loyalty and the complexities of love within families.

If he wants a perfect wedding day, he should not be surprised when he fails the family loyalty test.

Still torn between your sister’s wedding and your dad’s big day? See the choice between a sister’s wedding and a father’s birthday.