Should I Skip My Girlfriends Sisters Wedding? | AITA Reddit Story

Some people treat weddings like a party, but for this 21-year-old woman, they feel more like a full-contact performance review. Her girlfriend’s sister just got engaged, and the wedding is coming up in four months or less. But she already knows exactly what that day will demand from her, and it’s not going to be easy.

She told her girlfriend she doesn’t want to attend because weddings in her country are extremely overwhelming, heavily styled like the Met Gala, and her body is covered in tattoos that simply aren’t accepted. She’d have to spend weeks hunting for a dress that fully covers her, and she’s also more masculine presenting, which won’t be “accepted” either. On top of that, she is not able to attend as a plus-one because her girlfriend’s family doesn’t know they’re together, and lesbian relationships aren’t accepted there.

Then her girlfriend blew up, called her selfish, and suddenly the question was not just “should she go,” but “can she survive the wedding without betraying her relationship?”

Original Post

Me (21f) and my gf (22f) have been dating for two years and our families are extremely close, our mothers are best friends as well. Recently her eldest sister (34f) got engaged and the wedding will be held this year possibly in 4 months or less.

My family will definitely be attending the wedding and she has invited me as well and I expressed that I don’t wanna attend because weddings here are very overwhelming for me for a number of reasons such as being heavily tattooed which is not accepted in our society at all and I would have to spend weeks finding a nice dress that covers up my body entirely. Weddings in our country is also kind of like the met gala, everyone wears over the top dresses, full sets of lavish jewelry, makeup done professionally etc and It isn’t enjoyable to me at all especially because I am more masculine presenting and I just got done from two of my brothers weddings that were just a few months apart last year so I feel exhausted.

My girlfriend isn’t taking it well and is extremely upset and she’s insisting on me attending, called me selfish & unfair since she attended both of my brothers wedding even one of them after a 9hr flight. I also wouldn’t be attending as her plus one or anything like that because of two reasons; lesbian relationships are not accepted in our country/society and her family is unaware of our relationship, my family are the only ones that are aware of us.

AITA? edit: i have decided to attend the wedding after reading the comments and no i cannot wear the same dresses from previous weddings or family events to another wedding here it’s like a unspoken rule and viewed badly.

I cannot wear anything that is masculine presenting either it’s just simply not accepted in weddings here and I’ll just look stupid nonetheless I will be attending. Thank you all.

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When her girlfriend asked her to attend the eldest sister’s wedding in just a few months, she didn’t sugarcoat that tattoos and strict dress rules make it miserable for her.

Many individuals feel obligated to attend events despite personal discomfort, leading to stress and anxiety. Ignoring your feelings can lead to long-term relationship strain.

Instead, they encourage couples to explore alternative ways to celebrate significant moments, such as smaller, more intimate gatherings that honor the occasion without overwhelming the individual.

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Coping with Societal Pressure

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The tension spiked after the girlfriend reminded her she attended both of his brothers’ weddings, including one after a 9-hour flight, and still expected the same sacrifice.

This also echoes the AITA where a partner demanded rehoming Whiskers despite the cat allergy ultimatum.

Therapists recommend exploring one's feelings about attending family events to uncover deeper emotional responses.

Identifying the root causes of discomfort can provide clarity and guide decision-making. Journaling or discussing feelings with a trusted friend can offer new perspectives.

Additionally, practicing mindfulness techniques can help manage anxiety related to societal expectations, allowing individuals to approach situations with a calmer mindset, ultimately leading to healthier choices.

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It got even messier when OP explained she can’t come as a plus-one because her girlfriend’s family is unaware of their relationship and her society doesn’t accept lesbian couples.

Balancing Personal Needs with Family Obligations

Maintaining a balance between personal needs and family obligations is crucial.

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Family dynamics can often complicate personal decisions, especially regarding events like weddings.

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After reading the comments, OP decided she would go anyway, but only after confirming she cannot wear the same dresses or anything masculine presenting from past family events.</p>

By engaging in self-reflection, individuals can better articulate their feelings and decisions, ultimately fostering stronger connections and reducing conflict in relationships.

Comment from u/CardiologistFun7

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

This scenario underscores the intricate relationship between personal identity and societal expectations. The Reddit user grapples with the pressure to conform to cultural norms that conflict with her true self, leading to feelings of anxiety and discomfort, particularly in the context of a significant event like a wedding. Her hesitation to attend the wedding, despite the importance it holds for her girlfriend and her family, reflects a broader challenge many face: the tension between supporting a partner and maintaining personal boundaries. This conflict reveals how love can occasionally require sacrifices that test our authenticity, raising questions about the true cost of such compromises in relationships.

The dilemma faced by the Reddit user highlights the intricate nature of family dynamics, especially when personal desires clash with familial obligations. The importance of open communication cannot be overstated in such situations. The Redditor must weigh her feelings against her girlfriend's expectations, which calls for a level of emotional intelligence that is crucial in navigating these relationships. The pressure to conform to societal and familial norms can be daunting, but it is vital for couples to discuss their expectations candidly. By doing so, they can foster an environment that respects individual needs while still honoring family traditions, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling relationship.

Now she’s walking into a wedding where every outfit choice feels like a landmine, and nobody’s really asking if she can breathe.

For another family fight over traditions, see why she refused to change baby names. Naming Dilemma: AITA for Holding Firm on Baby Name Against Partners Family Traditions?